Thursday, September 27, 2007

[ 27092007 10.40pm xMusiCa chairs. ]

i hate playing musical chairs in the morning mrt... adults are no less polite at playing the game than children are. and think as little of safety too.

and apparently musica is back for a couple of days before flying off to the PH compie with the rest.


i wonder how he feels when he looks at you... probably the same way i feel. awkward... uncomfortable... filled with bad memories probably. and wasted chances.
oh well.


zilch : eh... i'm normally the one who stares at ppl... u know if u stare at a part of a person, they will tend to shift that part uncomfortably... (dun think funny pls)
exo : yeah, starting pay in the dept that i was working at was 2250.
shan : is interesting meh.....
shaun : BAH. yes fri is on. with asta too. and maybe dawnsheep. and whining is pbanned. it pisses me off.
kel : buses definitely pwn la... esp with heavy road traffic. gg... order air sick bag pls. takeaway.
asta : mushroom mushroom! the angry maple story mushroom! thats u!


i am.
highly unreasonable.
permanently dissatisfied.

awful person.
u sure u still want?

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

[ 25092007 11.44pm workwork ]

after having to drag myself out of bed at 7am, i figured the day had to be VERY nice to make up for the awful start. unfortunately, most of the world wakes up at 7am too. so they have no inclination to be any nicer to you.
having not woken up that early since... i'm not sure when... i guess since i was temping with credit suisse... i rushed out of the house forgetting to take a voucher of something that my mum wanted.
MRT rides in the morning are at their very worst. i mean, come on, how often do i not get a seat at PASIR RIS MRT. was standing and getting groped at by long hair guy and getting humped by plump short girl. until i couldnt take it anymore... i've never really feared enclosed spaces, but suddenly, after paya lebar, i just couldn't take it anymore... i had this inexplicable urge to puke and faint... i think it was claustrophobia coupled with having to wake up too early. so i kinda RAN out of the mrt at lavender took a breather then popped back into the next mrt, which was thankfully not as packed.

as i alight at raffles place, i observe the escalators jam packed with human traffic... all trying to squeeze each other out of line, and pick my way through with trepidition. the worst thing is, trains from both sides arrive and fully unload themselves at the same time, consecutively.


it drizzles as i trot to my office... the only good thing to happen so far in the morning. (other than my kind dad waking me up and dropping me at the mrt earlier in the morning)

then at the office... i spend 2 solid hours sharpening pencils. the noise is terrific and there are dirty looks and remarks passed. i end up in the printing room which is enclosed and removed from the main office. and noisy.
the remarks aren't meant to be unkind... but hey, i know you don't like hearing the noise of wood against metal, but its not like i wanna be here sharpening your pencils either.

after work, i scuttle off on time and try to avoid dozing off on the mrt eagerly awaiting our meeting.
then he's late for 30 minutes.

so lets skip the whining, and proceed to training... which was preceeded by an hour long nap on my part.
actually, there isnt much to say about training. lol.


the next day ie, today, is an early day for me again. highlight of the day : lunch with dawn, michelle and shu xiong. (literally tree bear)
although it was just an hour... it was reprieve from the relative solitude that i confined myself to in the office - headphones and music as i write countless addresses onto envelopes. reprieve in ENGLISH too. can't get any better than that.

fast forward to end of work - chill out time at the igloo with GE and bleach.


it really takes work to make u appreciate the freedom you enjoy without it. from your sleeping times, to when you take your lunch.
then again, its good to have routine (and a means of earning your own living)

on another note, my mum suggested moving me out to stay on my own in a one room hdb flat somewhere. i'm pretty cool about it, in fact, i'm more than cool. it sounds good! just that i would have no one to cook for me... and look after me... and take care of me... but well... i just want broadband, no matter where i am. haha...
it does get a little stifling to be still staying with parents. doesnt help that i'm the youngest child with a sister who doesnt live with us already. and that i'm relatively "young"- lookswise, thinking, everything i guess... so i'm treated accordingly.
overseas, its a common phenomenon to have kids of 18 years old staying on their own and working part time to pay off their rental. i guess its not so rampant here cos the cost of living is too high and theres not enough houses for kids to stay separate from parents. lol.


see! i keeps promisessssss no whining!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

1. (the person who tagged you is)
2. (your relationship with him/her is)

3. (5 impressions you have of him/her) -
always stressed
always emo
always yelling!!
she cares
she's mine!

4. (the most memorable thing he/she has done for you)
meet me at eg for lunch after coming back from aus! IN THE POURING RAIN.

5. (the most memorable words he/she has said to you)
"wah... zhe yang bu dui liao..."

6. (if he/she becomes your lover, you will)
woot... i'll grope her!

7. (if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be)
letting me grope her.

8. (if he/she becomes your enemy, you will)
not help her with her geog

9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be)
- stupid attp (ditto)

10. (the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is)
ace A's

11. (your overall impression of him/her is)

12. (how you think people around you will feel about you)
inadequate and incapable of making good decisions.

13. (the characteristic you love about yourself is)
... nothing that i can think of...

14. (the characteristic you hate about yourself is)
sitting on the fence can be pokey.

15. (the most ideal person you want to be is)
still myself.

16. (for people that care and like you, say something to them)
hi... who are you?

17. (pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you)

1. asta
2. dawnsheep
3. cass
4. daryl ho
5. mingwei
6. zilch
7. eter
8. cloudia
9. hime
10. jiapisai

(Who is no.6 having a relationship with?)
lego girl

(Is no.9 a male or female?)

(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?)
eter jiayi?@# never thought of it.

(What is no.2 studying?)
- finished studying. (ditto)

(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?)
fri night

(What kind of music does no.8 like?)
chinese music, ah beng music, o2jam music!

(Does no.1 have any siblings?)

(Will you woo no.3?)
Oo she's my daughter...

(How about no.7?)
wtf or...

(Is no.4 single?)
yeah... half at least.

(What’s the surname of no.5?)

(What’s the hobby of no.4?)

(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?)
- they dont know each other. (ditto)

(Where is no.2 studying at?)

(Say something casual about no.1)
we will get stronger!!

(Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?)
WTF??? cloudia??

(Where does no.9 live?)
aljunied. (or paya lebar coffee beannnn)

(What colour does no.4 like?)
no idea...

(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?)
dunno each other or...

(Does no.7 like no.2?)
eter do u like dawnsheep? ~.~

(How did you get to know no.2?)
haha... we were just talking about this the other day... through cangliang!
scenario: me sits in lecture. from behind comes male voice "your ziggaraut is complete!"
me, slightly amazed "u play wc?"
then he proceeds to intro me to his jc friend called dawn yang xi zhi.

(Does no.1 have any pets?)
yeah... its called keith.

(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?)
WTF????~.~ why always eter??


shan imma kill u.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

[ 18092007 7.19pm irresponsible. ]

i am what you would classify as an irresponsible friend. i dont turn up for gatherings, i dont really make an effort to small talk on msn, or drop caring little smses.
i'm definitely not high maintenance, in fact i'm almost anti social.
alot of the time, chit chatting and generally hanging out is quite tiresome to me. i'd rather be fishing or gaming or just sitting quietly, comtemplating.

it amazes me, sometimes, at how much some people put in to keep friendships alive. like paul for instance, he never fails to keep me updated about his life, organise gatherings etc etc.
it really takes alot, especially if you aren't some bored no lifer. why? because there are so many other things you can do FOR YOURSELF.

keywords here.

friendship is always taken for granted, and put below your personal needs. too often, at least.

these thoughts come to me as i reflect on how much time i've spent with my girl bunch. especially during the time mich was back. without them initiating, or coming to look for me, i doubt i'd have gone to look for them at all...

but at the end of it all.. no matter how irresponsible a friend i am, i'm always there if you REALLY need someone to talk to. thats non-negotiable. i may not be there for the good times, but try to count on me in the bad times.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

[ 15092007 3.05am OK NO MORE ]

OK i just read the last couple of posts. and... I CANT STAND IT. i'm sounding so EMO and GRUMPY and IRRITATING!

no more eeky posts from me.. EVER!

thank you for all that i've been blessed with.
please OPEN MY EYES.
[ 150907 2.25am reflection ]

can i give up?

i'm so tired.


Thursday, September 06, 2007

[ 06092007 2.40pm mood. ]

farewell to my endless days online... soon.


in a foul mood lately.


kids nowadays, and humans in general are getting on my nerves. sometimes i wonder if they're born without a brain or if they're just purposely out to try me. misbehaving kids, bold kids, kids that argue and talk back.
i lament the passing of days when teachers could mete out physical punishment on their students.
parents encourage their children to be vocal, yet wonder why they become disrespectful.
drivers curse and swear in their vehicles, then proceed to perform near-acrobatic stunts on the road.
its just 18 years, but why have kids changed so much since I was a kid?


half those aged 16 and under can remember their own house phone number, their parent's number, or any other person's number. why? because they just conveniently key in the details into their handphones, then proceed to call "mum" or "home phone" rather than "9xxx xxx" or "6xxx xxx"


i want to go fishing.