Friday, February 27, 2009

[ 27022009 10.40am | mehhhday* ]

happy mehh day dawn!


i had a dream.
it's another of those thought provoking dreams that get you at the wrong time, in the wrong frame of mind.
so yeah. thought of the day, or thought of the night, is.
what makes people like each other.
why does it seem that the probability of you liking someone, and that someone liking you back is unrealistically high?
is it
1) flattering to the other party that you like him/her, thats why he/she likes you back?
2) some magical instant connection that throws both parties suddenly into the same wavelength?
3) does the other party react emotionally because you (un)consciously send signals showing u like him/her?

a starving brown and white furry cat eating tofu, snowsports in cars, and the presence. =.=
i wanted to continue lounging in my own reality when my dad banged on my door and got me out of bed.
it was forgotten as i occupied myself with the morning rush out of the house, only to flood back, in an overwhelming wave, and very unexpectedly too, when i sat back and had a quiet moment to myself when i didn't need to be occupied with any thought/action at hand.
if there is one defining characteristic that is pretty consistent in my dreams... its a sense of... longing.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

[ 26022009 10.50am | covet. ]

i think i've discovered the power of the well marketed pro-gamer.
i seldom covet gaming equipment nowadays - i've more or less settled with my current set up, and i can't do without it - but this particular piece of cloth and rubber, has my long time idol spiritmoon on it.
=D me+ moon. he's quite tall hor.

back to the situation.
i mean... i'm never gonna give up my Razer Destructor, so that new pad would just take up space.
BUT!!! its moon. and its costs 19.99 euros. -.- not inclusive of shipping.
is this the price i must pay to be a fangirl?!
SO this is what its like... i havent been closer to understanding why some girls throw bras etcetc at their favourite movie stars than i am now. not that i'm planning to throw my bras anywhere.
with great reluctance, i shall post the link....

" Moon is a legend who allways sells mousepads tshirts wallpappers for MYM ..."
posted on mym web by another victim, i guess.

[ 26022009 1.39am | meouch! ]

i went fishing again on fri. and i happily applied sunblock on my face, except my forehead and eyes.
it wasnt VERY bright so i took off my sunglasses, and my hat blew off into the sea... my 2005 or 2006 wcg animax or something white cap. if u find it on the beach somewhere please return thanks.
SO my eye sockets got sunburnt.
i look like i have MEGA dark eyerings. they've gotten progressively darker as the skin healed... from red to light brown to a settled DARK BROWN.
at least it has stopped hurting.
AND i can confirm they are NOT black eyerings.
because the CREASE is NOT TANNED!!! so when i gently stretch the bottom lid down, theres a line of white in the middle of the brown.
talk about bad tans.
and now that i am slightly brown (despite the oodles of sunblock [oodles?] i gooped on... and long sleeves....) i cannot carry off my black look.
WHITE WHITE. i need to become WHITE!!!
(no i'm not being racist. I'M NOT!)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

[ 18022009 9.56am |! ]

if i had to be a fish, i would be THIS fish.

"Like a marine Mick Jagger, a rosy-lipped batfish pouts near Costa Rica's Cocos Island. Batfish are poor swimmers, preferring to use their strangely adapted pectoral fins like legs to crawl about the seafloor.
Photograph by Birgitte Wilms/Minden Pictures"

its mouth got hairrrr!!!

[ 18022009 1.45am | vs ]

i just had a mega long super sexy game. i can't say i played well... my micro is euk... but at least i have an eye for gameplay. a small eye maybe. a squinting eye.
tired and high. i think i've discovered the joy of playing carrier.


the sexy vamp vs the innocent young thing.
think of it as... Akasha with lina's boobs, vs rylai.
i think i had something more profound to write about this vs... but it seems to have slipped away together with my end game screen........
oh right.
i think it was something about which you prefer and what it says about you.
you know, i'm scared that if i lapse into colloquial too often, i'll forget how to write and pronounce my words properly.
sometimes. i'm not always worried about it.
it seems to come back to me pretty naturally.
i think i look at words in a clinical way - i dissect them, and rearrange them, culture them then present them in the best possible way to reflect as (in)accurately as i can, my current mental state / thoughts / situation etc.
And my toes are very itchy.
so i can't focus.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

[ 17022009 1.58am | thinking.again ]

if you find someone whom you really love. grab that person, don't let go.
love that person, with everything you have, until your dying breath.
fiercely, thoroughly, totally.
you may never be picked, or reciprocated, but would you rather live with the uncertainty?
it might be nice to have someone who loves you more than you do. but nothing beats loving someone with every atom of your being. except having that feeling returned, i guess.
giving vs receiving.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Even in Death - Evanescence

this song kinda popped out of my ipod (i got ipopped) when i was feeling kinda dark... on V-day. LMAO. i like the feelings it evokes.
it amazes me how the right song can appear at the right time out of my ipop. i swear its got a life of its own (that's tied to mine, apparently)


Give me a reason to believe that you're gone
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong
Moonlight on the soft brown earth
It leads me to where you lay
They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home

I will stay forever here with you
My love
The softly spoken words you gave me
Even in death our love goes on

Some say I'm crazy for my love, Oh my love
But no bonds can hold me from your side, Oh my love
They don't know you can't leave me
They don't hear you singing to me


And I can't love you, anymore than I do


And I can't love you, anymore than I do

People die, but real love is forever.

[ 16022009 11.07am | V-day@GH ]

i know i might sound like a loser, but i don't really care. i've spent the majority of my V-days at LAN and this v-day was no different.
at least i had 5 other gals to spend it with! =D
(yes i can count. its 5 other. )
So, we go to GH on V-day, and we sign our new contract with them for 6 months. GameHaven @carpenter St IS OFFICIALLY OUR LAN SPONSOR!!
any team wanna come down on sat to lan train with us? we're there from around 2-6pm every sat. but sorry, no discount for you.
SOOOOO here are the photosssssss...

this photo is damn damn funny... haha...
hua and i were trying to molest hime cos she's wearing this short skirt
and her sexaaayyy legs are exposed.
SEE HER MOUTH OPEN SO BIG trying to scream!!!!

K then this one isn't interesting. lol.
its just 3 of us. looking blueeee...

And one with us not looking blue.
we're not blue!!! cos we're happily spending v-day together at lan!
hime has a nose replacement.


Fir was telling me about his brother who is taking an animal behaviour module at nus. They just finished spiders. Fighting spiders to be exact.
So here's the spider story - two male spiders on their own are quite ok and fine. But once you drop a female in among them, they start going crazy.
I was thinking that that behaviour isn't too far off from certain other males of species similar to ours in the same situation.
Of course there may not the identical arm waving circling each other kind of display, but definitely, i believe that competition for a female would evoke the same urge to do just that, in males of species similar to us.

Friday, February 13, 2009

[ 13022009 11.35am | lmaooo ]

couple of pics from DOTA-League Masters 09 in Germany.......
loda gaying with... ERYC of all people. LOL. He has this super possessive look on his face.

LEVENT LMAO!!! looks like a tikopek.
am glad that levent and kuroky are in Ks, and sponsored. =D

[ 13022009 2.54am | pain. ]

pain causes me to think.
usually when i'm in pain and don't want to think, i'll hop into a game and magically, the pain disappears.
when the game ends however, everything comes crashing back down on me.
then i have to find a new game.

so ya... i think i'm about to die from pain right now. but i have no urge to play a game. so i shall write some nonsense.

what are the top 3 best days of my life?
no particular day seems to stand out in my mind... but my thoughts revolve around enjoyable incidents and events.
like sailing. gym. dota... floorball.
i didn't think it'd be so hard to pinpoint a couple of perfect - to me - days of my life.
on the flip side, i can't think of the top 3 worst days of my life either.
i do remember one particularly unenjoyable day i had, but it can't be classified anywhere near bad. i was cramming for semester end exams and it was one of those still warm days when the library is too cold, but the canteed is way to uncomfortable. and i was doing a module that i found totally pointless - linguistics - and nothing was getting in at all. simply. nothing.
but i continued trying anyway.
i actually enjoy writing long essays. there is something satisfying about putting together a long string of words, in an orderly (or disorderly...) manner, so that they (do not) make sense.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Craig David - Insomnia BRANDNEW 2008

song of the day =)
i like.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

[ 10022009 11.12am | euk? ]

i have nothing much to talk about... but i feel like writing anyway.
i'm considering a boat rod, but how often am i going to use it? and can i use it anywhere else?
i think i'll just survive for now. maybe.
i just got what felt like 2 kg of weights as well. keep losing them in the sea. gg.
i need to do various things... like pack up my room. i have decided to throw out many things. muahaha... WHEN will i get down to it. my room is SUCH a MESS.
so... its like, there's alot happening around me and stuff, i feel abit like a boulder, standing unchanging against the tides.
and i'm being a rather grumpy fish for now.
20th Feb - boat fishing trip 2.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

[ 08022009 9.58pm | ROM ]

sleepy fish slept 15hrs post fishing trip on sat...
heres the largest fish we caught... a garoupa.
and these are pics from dawn's ROM. happy looking dawn with her bouquet.
dawn and bryan infront of the solemnizer.
close up of the certs and table display.
the witnesses.
close up of the witnesses.

in bryan's room. guess who is who!!

muahahaha... kua tio gui liao!!!!

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

[ 04022009 11.21am | hmm. ]

its been a week and a half and new year still isn't over.
hurry up and END already...
had a(nother) family dinner at my aunt's place, and it was interesting to see how they squeezed a new house thats 4 times the size of their old one into the same plot of land.
i love their dog though. border collie, and very very licky.
i feel like writing about controversial things but i cant really think of anything i'd like to expound on...
i'm supposed to go fishing on sat.
i'm supposed to go wakeboarding on another sat.
i want to go phuket or bangkok or taiwan for a break before june. i might settle for a weekend shopping trip in KL.
5 days of leave to take, gives me... fri night - next sunday night = 9 days.
i just got a pair of damn pretty heels. they're mega high, but i love them. i'm just wondering how many plasters i'll have to go through. i seldom encounter a pair of shoes which speak to me... but these did. most of the rest were just... necessities.
i think, the last pair of shoes which spoke to me were a pair of rodney mullen limited ed globe skaters. that was... 7 years ago.
someone remarked that i dont seem to need sleep like other humans.
i guess it IS true that i sleep less than a normal human SHOULD, but i DO get my fill of sleep on weekends / offdays. very important, weekends are.
the price i pay for having more personal time is a permanently dreamy view on life, and eye circles. the dreamy view on life, is an improvement, but i cant say the same about the eyes. luckily, theres always concealer, which i don't use.
its so interesting to see how people i used to know have become now.
i think my parents would probably jump for joy if they knew i might have been an alcoholic clubbing slut sleeping around.
fortunately, i can't afford to waste my night hours spending on alcohol and sex.
who needs all that when you have the COMPUTER.
i can't for the life of me figure out the appeal of the high life. publicity? alcohol? food?
all that comes with many paparazzis and throwing away of money.
i actually paused for a while to seriously consider how i'd like it. and... i cant find anything attractive about it except the food. FOOD minus dinner parties and functions. euk to those.
i'd probably like to live a recluse. with all the time in the world at my disposal, all the choices in my hand. i think i'll probably be the kind to migrate to a countryside in my later years and farm the land, drink stream water... or something like that.
which leads me on to.. what kind of environment would you like your kids to grow up in. (assuming you DO want kids)
i'd like them to be schooled in singapore, no doubt about that... but i dont want them to grow up here. i'd like them to be familiar with nature, and the different species of insects/dogs/cats/birds/fish, to watch TV only when they have no choice, and to be able to pick up a frog/beetle/cockroach/lizard without a second thought.
i want them to be able to climb trees and run in the mud barefoot, dig for earthworms for fishing bait...
be able to cook themselves a simple meal, iron their own clothes.
and i'm talking about, before the age of 7.
PERHAPS i'm asking too much... but it irritates me to see people squealing and fussing about having to eat unfamiliar food/ go somewhere thats not clean. basically, in my dictionary, acting like a typical spoilt singaporean.
OH, of course i have my hissy (borrowing dawn's ex fav word) fits, when i pwn certain idiots for not delivering my desired level of service etc, but thats not because i'm incapable of doing whatever it is myself. most of the time it is because if i were in their shoes, i'd be ABLE to perform better than them.
*stuck up bitch in action lmao?
i'm at loathe to depend too much on other people, because they usually fail.