Wednesday, December 21, 2005

[ 21122005 1.39am | satisfied? ]

top 16 in the egames dota compie. 3 gals - dawn, sherica and i, 2 guys - eter and yuna. am i satisfied? not really, but it was a great experience.

alot of publicity now, for some strange reason.
Team TaC could not be missed. They have three girls in their team but yet, don't let their appearance fool you. They won both games and proceeded to the final day on Sunday. Three of the members of Team TaC are actually from rEv0. They won Team Kazed which had winner of headquarters dota competition, team exousia's cloud and kaldorei's ownie inside.
thats us! but mistake tho, 4 of us are from rEv0. only sherica isnt.

and an interview of me. ice calls me an elf in that pic. eh ?

tired. blog more when i get my results tml... or rather, today. zz

Monday, December 12, 2005

[ 12122005 12.34am | for your amusement. ]

its in chinese, if u can take it. quite a sweet, sad story. somehow, chinese and jap can express things in a way that english cant. i guess thats what anyone who takes another language would realise. there are always other ways of representing and describing...


ever noticed how its always a guy, rather than a gal, who does unglam things in public.
the other day, i was on the mrt, and this man, MAN, mind you, about 50+ years old, was happily picking his nose like there was no tomorrow. males seem to go through one stage, childhood. ok, maybe the do pass through an act - sey stage in their life, when they are out jio-ing gals, but eventually, they lapse into that state of oblivion, unglam-ness, and caveman kinda behaviour.
why is it, that gals dont do the same? gals seem to grow up, and grow out of it...
the next time you travel on public transport, take a good look around. chances are you'll find someone picking a nose, digging a toenail, pulling hairs with 2 coins or something like that.
and you know what, its gonna be a GUY.


i'm working in a furniture shop, it sells retro stuff, for the atas, cultured kinda customer. the niche market kinda thing. i personally prefer zen stuff and minimalist designing....
anyway. this gay walked in in hot shorts. he had this really cultured and polished aura about him. seriously AURA. level 10.
i didnt get a guy feeling from him, or a gal feeling either, it was more of like... just a sexy aura. *shrugz*
very feline, model like. oh well. looks like even guys could teach me a thing or two about being polished and refined.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

[ 30122005 3.24am | dawn's theory ]

the dawn here, is pinksheep, my clanmate, not the other dawn. i tire of that topic.
anyway, pinko's theory is that guys are easily engineered to fall in love with gals.

she states the 3 requirements :
1) pay him attention
2) share same interests
3) be not totally ugly

but she added a qualifier : works only on non-yandao guys.

(now we all know what she does at work. formulate theories on life and relationships!)

anyway, how true this is, i dunno.
all i know is that i'm moving out of hall soon.
how much more out of point can i get.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

[ 27112005 3.22am | grumpy for no reason. ]

I’m Catankerous. With a capital c. And the best thing is, I don’t know why. Oh well.

It’s that window period between your last paper and freedom. And it’s leaving me feeling itchy and impatient.
Maybe I should just get out there in the cold air and take a long walk…

On a side note, if anyone wants a pretty good warcraft 3 standard game replay, I’ve got one.

Monday, November 21, 2005

[ 21112005 1.30am | sigh. here we go again. ]

just a few points i wanna make.these are random quotes i discovered while surfing around being a kpo.

i don't know. there's alot of ideas being talked about. ex the issue of having barbie singapore as our icon being a bad influence to women, political garbage, to stupider stuff as dawn's ugly face and her pathetic lies. but who cares. its fun watching the destruction of a mentally ill girl who has caused many problems for people around her including her parents.
i really think that mentally ill, is too strong a word to use on her. ok, so MAYBE dawn yeo / yang is an insecure person, who isnt? tell me everyone is as confident as George Bush looks. half of it is an act which in turn helps you believe you are confident. its a positive feedback mechanism, not reality.
if this someone can ENJOY watching people bitch... i wonder how sane he/she actually is...

i have nothing against dawn. but from her scary transformation in the pictures, i have something to say.

dawn, you got a new face to fit in with the unsuspecting beautiful crowd.

you need to remember you weren't always so beautiful and should eat some humble pie by-

1. not taking so many narcissistic shots and obviously trying to get attention (don't say that you didn't go out looking for fame and that it came to you when all your posts have a narcissistic shot of you to start it off)

2. stop showing off that you have so many beautiful friends

3. stop thinking people are jealous of you (when you were even worse off looking than them before)

4. not try to get into the spotlight because you don't deserve it in the first place

5. basically keep a low profile

6. not try to change your heritage and distance yourself even further away from your original self (besides you never rightfully belonged with the panasians, not when you dont even deserve a spot with the beautiful)

7. stop lying about so many aspects of your life in order to pretend to be some little miss perfect

then maybe, you can still peacefully half-live the lie that you are "naturally beautiful".


why is being pan asian such a happening thing? its like...seen as superior or something. at least, thats the impression i got. whats the deal with being mixed? tell me, how many people would choose a mongrel over a ... say... pure bred golden retriever. this person who made this comment sounds like even he/she isnt happy with being non panasian. equating panasian with beautiful in his/ her sentence structure, is just simply flawed. there is a whole horde of ugly pan-asians out there, just as there are hordes of ugly chinese and indians and malays and every other race.



anyway, i got a bunch of dota compies coming up. I NEED MY EXAMS TO BE OVER NOW!!!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

[ 17112005 2.50am | X'ams ]

notice how X'mas and X'ams are so similar... yet mean such different things...
oh well. just a bo liao observation from a super bored, super siao mugger wannabe.
ok i dun REALLY want to be a mugger, in fact, i wouldnt call myself one, since i've been totally distracted by something called WARCRAFT. despite it being 1 day away from the start of hell on earth (aka exams), i have been having my daily dose of warcraft. whether in the form of TD (tower defense), dota (which is super laggy due to the fact that i am in hall, and connections here just suck), standard 2v2 (with dej... zz... our ranking is rotting slowly)..

ok. i really didnt mean to digress and start yakking about wc. i'm just a little nuts now cos i'm on caffeine (lipton milk tea really gives a long sustained high).
and i really wanna scream. i've only been studying more seriously for 2 weeks or so, and already, i'm tired out?

i think its the projects. the deadlines are so close to the reading period that its NOT funny. i mean, how can u get down to studying for exams when u are still researching stuff that has nothing to do with the final, and yet have to know in depth?

what the *toot* is university for? unless you're planning to be some hardcore researcher / academic next time, why the *toot* put yourself through it for? its a little late for me to think about this, considering how next sem might just be my last sem, but i'm thinking about it anyway. in what way does university actually help with your job next time... especially when you happen to be a geography major like me who is not planning to join LTA, NEA, NIE ...
why is that stupid little piece of paper so important... i bet most ppl forget what they have studied in uni and dont REALLY apply it to their real lives next time. ok, so, cool, when i go on a holiday, i'll know that africa has the largest diversity of fish, australia has weird creatures cos of island biogeography and speciation, and how to find the point which has the highest velocity in the Ganges.

enough of hyper-caffeine-induced-pissed-off-with-smelly-neighbours rantings.
i'm gonna try to get me some early shut eye.

Friday, November 11, 2005

[ 11112005 4.10pm | the thing about her is... ]

ok, seeing that so many people have spent so much effort talking about her, i might as well add my 2 cents worth.if i can bother to type out thousands of words for my stupid essays, i dont see why i shouldnt bother to churn out a few more now.

fact 1) dawn yeo/yang is really quite pretty now, and i'd kill to have some of her good looks.

who doesnt want to look good? at the same time, who would actually go all the way in fulfilling that dream? she's brave in that sense. the risks of turning out freaky after that are just way too high for me to want to try.
yeah, ok, i know all the debates about natural beauty and man-made beauty already. but, beauty is constructed by man anyway. its subjective in the first place.
so, i believe, that all those who are flaming her now, are basically jealous that she has become so pretty, that she has the means to become so pretty.

fact 2) she has undergone plastic surgery.

this is for those in doubt. you dont believe this? well, ask anyone from my year in RJC. i myself took a while before actually believing that it was her. she just looked SO different!
she was nowhere on the list of chiobus. mentioned for her not bad legs, yes, but never for her face. not to say thats she looks like a creep, but just that there were other more beautiful people to look at.
i also believe that there are a bunch of people who feel offended that she refuses to admit that she has undergone plastic surgery. i guess i come under this category, if i have to fit somewhere. then again, why do we care? the ones who will suffer are gonna be her agency, herself, her kids... its really nothing to do with us. so what if she gets famous because she did plastic surgery? lots of supermodels do that too.

well, anyway, like the majority of ppl, i think that she shouldnt even have mentioned plastic surgery in her interview, if she didnt intend to come clean about it. then again, it might have been the journalist's way of phrasing things that have made her seem... like she condemns plastic surgery? remember that we are reading from the viewpoint of the journalist, not hers.
i've got nothing against her personally, in fact i wouldnt even mind knowing her better, its just that i dunno who she's trying to kid by hiding facts... the whole RJ cohort knows. admittedly, the year above and below us wouldnt, because she simply wasnt high profile in the first place for them to even know who she was!

i really wish her luck in her new life, being pretty really opens up doors. and there are things you can do only when u are young and pretty. so, dawn, go for it and use this chance while you have it, cos this is something that us mediocres will never experience. at the same time, remember that honesty pays... the truth WILL get out somehow.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

[ 20102005 1.41am | sigh. ]

i have to take greater care of you. i will not neglect you so much.
i promise to be more consistent.

but only until i tire again...
poor bloggie...

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

[ 04102005 2.40am | i wanted you... ]

The minute I saw you, I couldn't take my eyes off you, cliche as it may sound. Too close, yet too far, I couldn't help the shiver that passed through me... a warm, unfamiliar sensation that made me long for more... There was something arresting about your whole demeanor, the way your clear eyes flicked over me. Such nonchalance...
A hidden, studied once-over.

Your hair, beautiful, silky. Luscious. I longed to reach out my hand and give it a gently ruffle, but was afraid to offend the lady who was obviously enjoying your attentions. The gentle pat on her dainty paw, noticing her every slight twitch...
I tried to be jealous, but realized I was only envious... envious of the affections showered so freely on her, not me. I couldn't be jealous, not when you looked so good with her. But my heart hurt anyway.

Longing, such an empty word, so unable to describe the depth of need I felt within me. To feel you gently moving next to me, the arch of your back beneath my hand... to have you...for my own...

Separated only by self-control, I tried to look away, back to the reality of what I should do. I wanted you. So badly. To hold and pamper, to caress and love.
I failed. I was drawn back to you. Irresistibly. I couldn't reach round the barriers that were keeping us apart from happiness... I couldn't... and I didn't... I cried inwardly as I backed off... knowing it was all for the better...



Image hosted by

Cos my mum would have killed me for buying a cat. No matter how damn cute it was.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

[ 21092005 9.45pm | depraved. ]

it is my conclusion that singaporeans are an emotio-physio depraved society.
what do i mean by that? ok, disclaimer first, i'm sure theres some really cool scientific classification and what not for this deficiency, but i'm not one of those smart asses who know what its called. so to me, its called emotio-physio depravation. this condition means, lacking in physical contact which transmits emotional signals. and i'm NOT talking about the oh so sought after act between males and females.
its amazing how we actually have CLASSES and COURSES to teach us what should come naturally to us. body language, how to show attentiveness, sympathy... its really sad to realise how much we have degenerated.
ok, i guess its not easy for guys especially, to show concern physically since its the age of women-machoism and if-u-touch-me-u-die kinda reactions. i guess its not so easy for you guys to hold some gal gently without any sexual intention. guys are just wired differently.
i feel, theres nothing wrong with gently resting a hand on/around someones shoulder before addressing him/her. it sure beats "eh miss! MISS!! you drop your uh-hum... on the floor." being yelled at 4feet away. and, whats wrong with patting some old lady's back and offering her a tissue while she coughs her lungs and kidneys out? (speaking from my awful coughing state now) nothing wrong. nothing wrong at all. except that it WONT BE RECEIVED KINDLY. its so likely that you'd probably get your eyes and nose clawed and slapped off on the slightest bit of contact.

when did people become so protective of their bodily zones? even during rush hour mrt traffic, people still manage to stand without touching each other directly. which is why poor people like me have no space left to squeeze into and end up waiting 5 trains in a row before boarding a reasonably empty train. its all fine to be protective of certain areas of your body, but parts like shoulders, arms, hands... are meant to be shared (in an innocent, harmless, comforting way). its all about having a better society, one that cares for each other.
next time, support that frail old man to the mrt seat. dont just stand up and indicate.
AND if you happen to be that frail old man, dont shrug off the kindly hand or beat it off with a stick. a smile and simple word of thanks would be plenty.

Friday, September 16, 2005

[ 16092995 9.42pm | suicidally.furious ]

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

in the end its just a fricking waste of my time.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

[ 13092005 1.11am | post-wcg ]

for the uninitiated, wcg stands for world cybergames, an event that strives to identify the top gamers in the world.
anyhow, the recent singapore wcg just ended on sunday, the 11th september. and man... was it a tiring event.

if i was ignoring smses or pm's, its cos i was training like a nut. thanks to mr tinker dejacob aka omniknight-wannabe, we managed to get an all gals dota exhibition match going. my team - pinksheep, charlene, sherica and mag, were up against the more well known bunch of gals - nilus, green, gwen, alien, ahgal.

lots of things happened in the course of preparation for the match, and post match as well as during match. and all i can say is that its been one hell of a journey for me.

the gamers i hang out with online would know i've been trying to get a rEv0 gals team up for ages. but somehow, havent been succeeding. after nus iplay, i managed to grab some of the contacts of the gals who played and managed to form a gals team, just for this wcg event. other than nus gals, i got a couple from a friend of friend of friend kinda thing. so things worked out... ok... i guess. we trained, with an incomplete team, almost all of the time, except for like... three occassions or so where we got the whole team down to lan or online or something like that.

what i really like about this team is that we are flexible in hero choices. that is so important for a drafter... i mean, i can draft the perfect draft and get all the allstars, but if my teammates dont know how to use them... then its really no use me drafting so well. if drafting 1st pick, i like controlling the other team's hero choices. if i'm 2nd pick, i like countering their choices. i rather have the upper hand than have to start off the whole game picking defensively. start offensive man.

anyhow, our teamwork wasnt really there... til the compie. somehow, i didnt need to command, it just went along by itself smoothly... sorta like... we had telepathy or something. and when anyone gave a command, it was just followed through.

the match however, didnt really start on a friendly note... somehow. and it ended on an even less friendly note. its a small regret i have that i walked out not having 5 more friends. cos at the end of the day, its really nice to have a group of gals to band with in a community which is saturated with guys.

so much for the game being an exhibition match. that said, i wouldnt have changed a bit about our preparation. even friendly matches should be taken seriously. no? any sports person would tell you that.

we all got a barracuda mousepad, wcg limited edition worth $40. haha... did u know, that the brand is local born? a 26 year old guy runs it with his friends. impressive no? local born, local design, local everything. (except made i think)

anyhow, heres the match, from my most impartial viewpoint.(and what i can remember)

sulin's team pick- first pick

my teams pick

that kuku dejected thought we picked lion instead of lich, thanks to the game marshall's writing. and he decided to demoralise me before the match saying i did a bad draft and why did i pick slardar. -_- anyhow, we decided to just play.
after waiting about 10-15 mins for the other team to set up the sound on their coms and all, we were finally on our way. (after a few... uncalled for comments... which were screened out on the plasma screens)

i'm not too sure what was happening in the other lanes, but i (omni) took bottom with slardar against morph and bone. and what happened next was interesting. for a few levels, slardar and i were denying the morph and bone. (deny - means to kill your own creep so the opponent doesnt get money and experience) now, this is really strange cos the 2 of us were melee and they were range. next thing was... why did they put 2 power heroes to farm together?
on out part, it wasnt too good that we took one lane together. 2 melee in one lane... is not usually good news.
mid lane was vs and silencer facing off my teams' fv and lich. and they weren't doing well against my gal's nuking, according to my fv.
medu was up top with centaur, who later changed wil silencer and went mid.
things started getting interesting when fv got euls, lich got buckler and slardar got blink dagger. by then, medu was on her way to radiance and other interesting things. first push was successful, then we fell back after the mid rax was down. by then, medu had 5k and was deciding between another sacred relic or an eaglehorn. later, we faked a push up mid and cut to bottom to finish the towers and rax off.
the game ended soon after, as i got my lvl 16 ga, i think.

a very interesting game, and i learnt quite abit from it. competitive dota is really something, but i'm gonna dread using the v6 maps. sigh.
anyhow, gg gals, hope to see them around. my team i mean. i'm not sure if the other side feels the same.
and, super large thanks to the tinker dejacob who really gave us alot of his time and energy, as well as my rEv0 guys who trained me up.

Friday, September 09, 2005

[ 09092005 1.41am | happy birthday joie!!!!!! ]

happy birthday gal! ok... woman now, mind you. =)

while waiting for my notes to print, some yummy stuff for you guys out there...
its fast becoming one of my personal favourites too... so i won't blame you for having a nosebleed.

arthrun and cagalli from gundam seed. cosplayed by 2 hot chicks. not only is it really really well done... they look damn good too...

Monday, August 22, 2005

[ 21082005 3.28am | all the eye candy. and some not so candy-ish ]

one of my shocks. haha... its like seeing your teddy bear come to life. but kakashi happens to be one of my anime crushes. not only is he damn good looking (YES! he IS, under that mask of his... although us faithful naruto followers hae yet to see it...), he is a perfect gentleman (non-existent in real life) and damn sey, damn talented... *gushes*
anyhow, he's one of those ficticious characters whom i wish would just come to life... he's only 26, by the way...
this guy did a pretty good job with the hair, the eye, and the stance. however, the kunai in his hand look like metallic fingers... which is a waste.

our friendly chee ko pek, jiraiya-sama, talented and horny. this cosplay actually does look a little like him. not that i'm saying the poor guy looks chee ko pek... but ok well. jiraiya is one of the naruto characters i wish we got to see more off. his just so hilarious.


other than the outfits, that is. the guy looks like a sleaze bag, not a sey yandao. he definitely does not do squall justice. the girl, maybe can... with plastic surgery and rebonding. but her stance is totally wrong with that outfit. shoulda worn the gold / yellow one instead.
i mean.. come on... THIS is squall, scar and all. and man, he looks good.

and on to my present FAVOURITE.
ROY! *=)
who does NOT look this this kok

this is like... a total insult to the lady killer, roy mustang. thats a... chinaman!
at least the next one, looks a little more like him. cept that... its actually a LADY in that outfit!!

for those not on my msn, or those who havent seen my msn pic (prob cos your msn is like... dinosaur age) this is roy (*melt)

not much to look at, you may say? i beg to differ, roy has gals falling over themselves just to talk to him. sure of himself, (gorgeous), loyal, (gorgeous), protective,(gorgeous), a high ranking officer (and a gentleman), (gorgeous), talented, (gorgeous), aloof, (gorgeous), painfully just, (gorgeous), sarcastic,(gorgeous), ... ... gorgeous?
he's the kind with a hint of "bad guy-ness", the kind that only one special lady can pin down for her own exclusive use.

btw, the full metal alchemist cosplay site i got the good roy photo from is here. PLEASE go take a look. they are extreme cosplayers, and their work is AWESOME. the armstrong is PERFECT (but a little less muscular than the real armstrong) and the edward is very on the mark too. hawkeye and winry are a little too plump, but the costume and makeup really really well done. i'm not usually so liberal with my praise, being a horrible critic... so this has to be something.


Saturday, August 20, 2005

[ 20082005 1.16am | finished, i guess. ]

it was one of those stories you wished would never end, the kind that left you in an imaginary world, yearning for more of the characters, more of the scenery, more exploits... more anything, just more. like... the chronicles of narnia, or lord of the rings... that kind.
the last few pages are agony... on one hand, you really want to know what happens, the conclusion to the build up of many pages, on the other, you want to slow down because the end just means... theres no more. deciding what to do, a mental battle occurs, in the end, the want to know what happens wins out, and before you know it, you're at the blurb.
stories are stories, and they all end, eventually, no matter how much you wish they would go on and on forever. even harry potter will end, so i was told by daryl today.
what can you do at the end of a book? well, there's the option of re-reading it, but then, you'll never get the same satisfaction, or the same feelings re-reading a story you already know. you can dwell on the longing and yearning for a while, but in the end, moving on to another book is the only realistic option.
somehow, after a really good book, the next few books one reads will read a little hollow. in the shadow of a really good read, mediocre books just dont deliver.

it'll take a while to find my next good book.


this one's for you.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

[ 10082005 5.07pm | stuck.again ]

it always turns out this way. just when i thought i crawled out, i find i'm nowhere near the end. its like the neverending poverty cycle, the nightmarish maze without an exit. everywhere is light, bright blinding light which bleaches everything the same colour, so bright that i cant see. i walk around in this brightness stumbling repeatedly on various objects, all hidden in the light. its like having repeated dreams of being hunted and awaking right before i'm killed.

i've crawled to the border of light and dark again. to take a step more, or take a step back is the difference of 2 worlds. all at once, i'm wishing i would wake up from this hunted dream... or simply be ended in it.

then again, maybe this whole bright world is just an internal vision of my room at 5pm when the sun shines in, waking me up.
one thing i'm sure of, is that school has started, which means i'm gonna resume blogging.


living alone is great. it has its fair share of perks and freedoms. but living alone with responsibilities is a little different. freedoms are curbed, perks are dulled. responsibilities make the world a better place, but they make the individual a whole lot heavier.


nus is having a gaming competition... how i wish i could take part, but. i dont have a team. i mean, i do have a team, but they aren't from nus. what a waste. i'm pretty sure we'll trash everyone else.


just wanna draw the curtains around me to block out all this light... and go back to sleep...
[ 02062005 1.26pm music meme? ]
[ 10082005 1.22am delayed and deleted ]

[edit - this post has caused me much headache. so it better be read properly!]

been passed the music meme baton from joie. so i guess i better get down to it soon

total volume of music files on my computer
239MB + 3.11GB
you do the math. i hate math.
anyhow, my computer's a laptop, and had a 30GB hard disk. so i've had to burn mp3 cds and dvds to keep my harddisk free enough to run. in all, i think i burnt 2 dvds and 4cds full.
although i now have an upgraded 80GB hard disk, i dun think i'll clutter it up again with music files.

the last CD i bought was
jay chou's "qi li xiang"
he's pretty good, but i think that that last cd didnt really live up to ye hui mei. but then, ye hui mei is hard to beat. for the record, i dont buy cd's cos i think they are a waste of money. but because i like jay, i bought it to support him. rather than pirating it. (although i do know that most of the money doesnt even get to him...)

song playing right now
nothing's playing right now. if music's coming out of my com these days, its usually the warcraft theme. haha.
but if i had to play a song, i'd probably choose lyric by zwan.

5 songs i listen to, or mean alot to me

1. ace of base - i saw the sign
now this old, strange song, is what i classify my primary school song. simply because it was hot at that time, and its the song that brings me back to that era immediately. you know how when you hear something, you sometimes cant help remembering a time, a scene etc of something that happened when the song was playing.

2. RGS days songs - westlife, 98degrees, boyzone, samamtha mumbar, and a bunch more that i cant really remember...

3. puddle of mudd - blurry.
rj + kai xiang song, simply because he introed the song to me in the rj canteen while we were studying or hanging out before training [or posing]

4. evanescence - my immortal
cos its beautiful.

5. recent songs that got stuck and wont go away... maybe cos i heard them alot in hall last sem
britney spears - everytime
ben jelen - come on (which is also a kenny song... kenny as in floorball kenny)
dashboard confessionals - vindicated
huang yida - lan tian
ji mo bian jie
ash - starcrossed


Saturday, July 09, 2005

[ 09072005 1.01am | ... ]

this is my december
This is my time of the year
This is my december
This is all so clear
This is my december
This is my snow covered home
This is my december
This is me alone
And i
Just wish that i didnt feel
Like there was something i missed
And i
Take back all the things i said
To make you feel like that
And i
Just wish that i didnt feel
Like there was something i missed
And i
Take back all the things i said to you
And i give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to
This is my december
These are my snow covered dreams
This is me pretending
This is all i need
And i
Just wish that i didnt feel
Like there was something i missed
And i
Take back all the things i said
To make you feel like that
And i
Just wish that i didnt feel
Like there was something i missed
And i
Take back all the things i said to you
And i give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to
This is my december
This is my time of the year
This is my december
This is all so clear
And i give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to


its interesting how laptops have become the next common acquisation after...
at first, we thought pagers were cool... then came handphones. and gameboys. and handphone gameboys and handphone cameras. then pda's. (which weren.t as popular, imo) now, at this stage in our lives, its laptops.
everyone has one.


hectic schedule right on track. so is a cough and flu. if i'm not working, i'm training. if i'm not doing either, i'm doing house chores. if i'm not doing any of the above, i'm doing some other supposedly relaxing thing which is equally hectic. like swimming. or cycling. or tanning. tanning IS hectic. you have to constantly turn over, apply oil and wat nots, and run to cool off in the shallows.


most of the overseas ppl have come back. paradox is, i probably wont have time to catch up with them til school starts. cos thats when alot of things end.


feeling shacked out. totally, inside out.
forgive me for this sloppy post.

Sunday, June 05, 2005

[ 05062005 3.19pm | HFH ]

will be away for a week starting today. going to yogjakarta to build houses under habitat for humanity.
remember to pray for me and my church people!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

[ 01062005 11.41am | euk. ]

results out today. dont ask! i did ok, but nothing worth mentioning.

anyhow, been working at the ALL NEW EGAMES at KATONG SHOPPING CENTRE. the coms there are pretty good - amd 64, 6600 xt (or something) ati graphics card etc. 4meg line connection. super good.
been trying to form a cs all girls wcg team, and am wondering about vital signs 5v5 competition. anyone interested?
ran into many old faces over the last few gaming days... binary, yanie, bubbles, guggles, to name a few. most of whom hae converted to dota.

somehow forgot my internet banking id/password, which is like... the dumbest thing i could have done.
oh well. i'm not very smart i guess.

Friday, May 06, 2005

[ 06052005 9.51am | away! ]

i shall be in malaysia from today until around the 16th.
please dont miss me!

Friday, April 22, 2005

[ 22042005 3.15pm | old cars. ]

i'm trying to stay awake all day so that i can sleep early tonight, and hopefully put my waking and sleeping times back to more earthly hours.
my first paper was disastrous. believe me, i'm not given to exaggerating. good thing jang (korean exchange student) comforted me by reminding me that our projects, which make up 60% of the final grade, was already a b+.
zalina was fretting after the paper, as we all were, about how the projects took so much out of her that now she's just too tired to do anything more. which is what i feel too. shit man, lets count the number of projects i have had to do this sem... 2+1+1. wow. 4. thats just way too many.
i better choose my modules carefully next sem. shud i take jap 3? jap takes up about 7hrs every week, which is pretty heavy, cos all other normal modules take up only 3 hrs a week. i like it, but i wont say i'm very good at it.


after driving shen's 20year old BMW before i got my license, i thought old cars were cool buggers. also, my 10 year old honda accord was a running dream, til we had to get rid of it cos of the silly 10 year coe thing, much to my consternation.
the merc i drove was not unfamiliar, but it was certainly more beat up than the aged BM. it was younger too. anyhow, i thought i roughly knew how to control whatever it could throw at me. until...
we were about the last car out of the xxxx carpark. after a struggle with the seat belt which gets stuck if you're too rough with it, i started the car. glad to be able to tackle the drive with seat belt on, i was thinking the journey was set. the steep slope up to the barrier was irritating, but nothing the car couldnt handle. it was a 1.9L auto merc afterall. when i got to the "insert card" machine at the top of this steep slope, i realised that the auto window was not auto. infact, it was permanently stuck in a closed position because the button was spoilt. fine. loathe to release the seat belt lest it get stuck and leave me travelling in fear for the whole journey, i slipped it over my head, pulled the handbrake and opened the door to lean out the stick the card in.
yay... barrier opens... i get back into position, slip the seat belt on, release the handbrake while stepping on the footbrake. as i release the footbrake to step on the gas, the car slides backwards. thats ok, i mean, even auto cars slide backwards a little when moving off on steep slopes. so i press harder on the gas. in fact, i floor it. but the car picks up speed... backwards! my gears are on drive, my foot is pressing on the correct pedal... so... what on earth..?
the engine had STALLED!!! an AUTO car!!
by the time i realised that, i had failed the slope test in the circuit about 25 times over.
anyway, after alot of scuffling and grabbing and panicking (from the passengers), i finally got the car started again, without injury. note : throughout this, the air con is off cos if i put it on, the car wont start cos the air con consumes too much energy. like... hello. and you remember why i had to open the door to insert the card? YEAH! the windows are spoilt. so we have a bunch of really hot and panicky people in the car.
as the car creeps back up the slope (thank goodness we were like... the last car out of the carpark, cos i woulda hit whoever was behind me...), the barrier comes down! fantastic. just when you thought i couldnt get any worse, life throws you another bucket of shit.
scared to pull the handbrake again lest the engine die (ok... no relation.. but its psychological...), i just stomped on the footbrake. good thing the guard was around. and he saw what happened, so he radioed for the key guy to stick the key into some box which released the barrier or whatever thing. basically, he called for help to get us out. we ended up waiting close to 10 minutes in a really hot car, and i had a really tired foot cos it was stuck to the footbrake. plus, i think no one's gonna get a ride from me ever again... (haha... fat hope... she who drives will have to send ppl around)

old cars are condemned. if its a merc, its doubly condemned. i shall never get a merc. pooh.
[ 23042005 3.50am | exams! ]

they're finaly here... and i feel so relaxed... which is so wrong. cos that means i dont study at all. i lack focus, i lack drive, motivation. i just wanna become a full time slob. first paper is at 9am later today, and i'm typing out an entry. i'm too used to exams, so used that i cant be bothered anhymore! help!
and, my sleeping schedule is totally warped. help.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

[ 09042005 3.07am | whee! ]

i feel like i have a new com, in actual fact, its only a $100 addition of hd space. but - that $100 bought me 3X as much disc space as i originally had! woohoo for dads' man!

on top of that, my lappie has undergone serious reformatting and clearing up, and my cd drive is back in working order! woohoo again for com-savvy dads'! but not so woohoo for my exams...

anyhow, i'm suffering from 18hrs of non sleep cos of a 3-12midnight shift at egames again. and, i couldnt wait to get my hands on my com... transfer files and such.

o... this feels so good.


grabbed the first cd i could lay my hands on to test my cd drive. it happened to be "o", and once again, i was reminded of how i thought josh hartnett resembled someone i know. i still see quite alot of resemblance... or maybe i'm just blind.


i think i attract old men. the foodstall uncles seem particularly drawn to me. maybe i just remind them of their anorexic daughters who never seem to eat and need constant cajoling just to down a spoonful of soup.
i mean... they give me discounts! haha... and they push steaming packets infront of my nose willing me to exclaim over how hot and nice it is. and then, they give me extra liao!
not all are quite so nice though... the other stall i went to had this uncle who was asking me if i had one dollar coins to change. when i said i didnt, he said "go home and bring your one dollar coins lah. then come back tomorrow and give me?" like... huh?


Image hosted by

私は はたけカカシ先生 がとても好きです!

Monday, April 04, 2005

[ 04042005 2.14am | hn. ]

in sasuke's words : hn.

life has gotten worse. and no wm, i'm not awake in a pile of poop. although i daresay i might prefer that to my life now.

teekay - you are pathetic! episode 101 is sooo outdated. but i love that episode. i laughed so much watching it. the only episode that can rival 101 in providing amusement is the one where naruto can only summon a tadpole. haha.

i have progressed from watching naruto, to d/ling and printing naruto comics. i'm such a pathetic toot. but what can i do... thats the only place kakashi exists...


i actually had a week of interesting thoughts to type out, but as what normally happens after long thoughts and no action, you tend to forget them.

my season has ended. and i didnt even get to play the last match. so much for grand-aunt's birthdays... it would have been a fantastic match to watch, even if i couldnt play it. but i cant be in two places at the same time. so all i have now, is next year's season. next year = next academic year.
my laptop is on the verge of breaking down. i only have like... 3 gig of free space now, and no way to burn excess nonsense on to cds cos that darned drive is spoilt.

ok. i'm a whiner. i admit it.
but after discussing budget airlines and national carriers on transport forum all night, i think i'm allowed to be inane here.


jack russels.

they arent meant to be pets. if cooped up for long hours, they become incorrigible and noisy. they will also dig up all your furniture in hopes that there are small animals to chase and wreck everything wreckable. they are basically a ball of energy thats not meant to kept as a small house pet. they are best off in a house with a large compound or with an owner who's a marathon runner.
i really pity these small pooches... they are absolutely adorable, super hyper and terribly misunderstood. dont buy russels if you cant cater to their needs!


i want a bird.
a baby budgie will do. or a baby cockatiel.
i like baby birds.

and if i obtain one my mum will make soup out of it.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

[ 31032005 12.05am | zZzz- ]

my weeks are getting worse and worse. i cant believe next week is the end of term!
lots of things have happened...

i got my days mixed up and missed wm's bdae. haha... called him on his bdae night asking about bittorrent. but i really thought that day was the 22nd... oh well.

tong xin yuan - episode 41. dont ask, dont laugh either. (i dont even know if the series is out yet)

this weekend may well be out last match of the season! of cos, we will fight to make sure that its not! and its my grandaunts bdae thing... sheesh. priorities eh...

i'm starving, have presentation tml, lots of jap to do too.
and naruto didnt air last week! how much worse can life get...
at least i got a copy of howl's moving castle - the book, and d/led the show - which i cant burn cos my laptop's dvd/cd drive is dead.

ok. life CAN get worse.

Friday, March 04, 2005

[ 04032005 12.36pm | wet.plants ]

i like wet plants. theres something about them that makes you think of words like "sparkling", "bright", "clean", "healthy"...
wet plants smell good too, the fragrance following a rain is nothing short of wholesome.

but of all wet plants, i like wet trees best. i think its beautiful the way the foliage seems to glow against an overcast sky. the moss and lichens on the trunk turns black after prolonged soaking, defining the plant in a way even an artist cannot. it looks like... the charred stumps of trees after a forest fire, but is lusciously undead.
the next time it rains, quit hiding under an umbrella, cursing your wet slippered feet. look around... at the wet plants...

sure hope it rains again soon.

[ 04032005 3.53am | =.../ ]

Hosted by

i cant help myself, i really can't... tell me he isnt totally good looking. tell me he isnt gorgeous.
hah. like i'll listen.
why can't someone like that exist in real life.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

[ 02033005 2.22am | hauru no ugoku shiro ]

what happens when you fall in love with someone who doesnt exist?
charming, pretty to death, dark and mysterious.
pity he has a stupid name. come on... what kind of name is "howl".

the movie was somewhat fragmented and had strange scenes and loopholes here and ther. however, i put it down to misayaki's interpretation of the book and his own creativity.
his fairytale land is absorbing and his characters are well done. mostly. calcifer, the witch of the waste and sophie in particular.
howl has his glam image spoilt by having a strange scene thrown in. you cant look at a character the same way after you've seen him throw a tantrum over hair colour, or if you've seen his butt as he droops in a posture akin to drunken stupor. which is a waste. i really kinda liked his cool, mysterious, charming image.

watch it for : great animations, kimura takuya's voice over, howl's gorgeous looks. good soundtrack. if you end up falling in love with howl, dont blame me. just join the queue.

"whats the point of living if you're not beautiful!"

Monday, February 28, 2005

[ 28022005 3.32am | match. ]

reflecting on our match today against the senior team. lost 4-2, but we sure put up a good fight.
i'm wondering about the expectations-respect thing. ok, for those not in the know, these are how chong (coach) key phrases. you dont pressure yourselves with expectations of how you are to perform, rather, you perform to your max, enjoying the game. you give respect to your opponents, but you make sure you dont let that respect overwhelm you into playing like a wuss.

anyhow, it was a really strange match. it felt odd to be up against the senior team who basically taught us most of what we know. it was odder to realise that they dropped to 2 lines, making us seem like formidable opponents.

in truth, i cant say who was more 'scared' to meet the other. i certainly know both sides were keyed up, hyped up, and sending ra-ra emails to and fro. they couldnt really afford to lose to us, and we didnt really WANT to beat them... but yet we wanted to.

i guess it was partly a measure, for us, as to how much we'd progressed as a team. our skills and our 'connection' as sarah puts it. we definitely dont have the experience and stickwork that the seniors have, but we love the game and the team, and that kinda makes up for alot.

it was a sweet game, really. they all have blue wristbands from us now, and the usually cordial game end talks were all hugs and congratulations.

for now, we're looking forward to meeting them again in the playoffs.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

[ 26022005 11.28pm | forever 21 ]

had a day of catching up today. started when i met up with jane and christine to get evien a pressie for her 21st. then when we got to aranda, i discovered that a whole bunch of my primary school classmates were there too, the birthday boy being none other than my church friend's cousin.

anyhow, most of my sec school bunch was there - jane, christine, evien, sharon, nadia. its really been a while since i've seen them all together... and we have all grown up... we all look somewhat different, but somewhat the same, with all the 'same vibes' as i think sharon, put it. and its so true that we only seem to catch up with our jc bunch, perhaps cos they are more recent.
i wasn't expecting so much fun, but we really did have fun... and even had time for a greatly interrupted heart to heart session.

i think i have to start catching up with them... they are a neglected bunch in my life... something i may live to regret.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

[ 19022005 12.25pm | constantine ]

catch this show. but make sure you buy tix at least 2 hrs before hand. kept me keyed up from the moment it started and didnt let up. which is a pretty big feat.
john constantine's dry wit is hilarious.
if you're looking for another matrix-like show, look again, cos this one's plain super action, without all the complicated hidden meanings.
plus, romance is only hinted at. theres no sex in the show.
how much more unique can it get?
o, and it has an unpredictable ending. unpredictable to me at least, and i can usually predict what happens next in plots.

one of the best shows i've watched recently. a definite must catch.

Monday, January 24, 2005

[ 24012004 3.53am | matters. ]

i have somhow managed to leave my entire pencil case... or rather, pencil bag at home. so i'm stuck in hall with one eraser and one pencil. i feel like a primary school kid.


anyway, today, or rather, yesterday, was one of the best games of my life. as gill put it "i never lost until so suang before." its great to know you defended well, played well as a team, ran your hearts out... all against the (arguably) best team in singapore, moosettesz. (is that right? i never managed to spell it correctly...) 5-1 was more than i could ask for. it was a granted that they would win, but i was set on making it difficult for them, at the very least. think everyone held the same sentiments. plus, there's always this possibility that we could score more than them in a game. it even better to know that we "avenged" (or you can say, 'bettered') our senior team who lost 9/10-1 to them a year ago. kinda amazing... thats why i love being an underdog.

Singapore Floorball League -

NUS Jupitans

vs NTU 1-2
vs UWC 13-0
vs Mz 1-5

thats it so far.


aside -
somehow... i still dont think the team can ever take the place of my sailors...

Monday, January 17, 2005

[ 17012004 3.41pm | pathetic ]

in the aftermath of a fever that peaked at 38.4 degrees Celsius. very strange indeed. i was feeling sluggish at church and decided to just run home quickly and doze it off. halfway through my doze i woke up with a racing heart and a burning head.
from yesterday til today, i have managed to lose 2 kg. i now weigh in at a miserable 41kg. well, all i was taking was oranges and juices... and water. but i didnt expect to reduce my size so greatly. why do i have to lose weight so easily but take forever to put it on?

anyway... its tutorial registration again... and the headache of ranking tutorials replaces my headache from the fever. i dont understand the logic. all my tutorials are equally important to me, and i want them all because i've already planned so that they will all fit my timetable nicely. so how can i decide which one is rank 1 or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5? irritating. they are all top priority wat.

i'm feeling weak and spidery. if you know what i mean by 'spidery'.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

[ 08012005 12.25am | in love! ]

ok... maybe i use "love" too loosely... but... can you help it when the object, or person in question looks like

jacinda barrett as rebecca in bridget jones diary - the edge of reason.

Friday, January 07, 2005

[ 07012005 3.10pm | guys<--- ]

i cant believe this is the topic of my first post of the new year. but i am so peeved!
anyway, to quote my sister " we should have hot little packets of curry to throw at these stupid guys"
what am i talking about? idiotic guys who like to harrass girls or females on the street, especially when they are in big bunches and know that they will never see you again.

lets do a profile (is it called a profile? case profile...)

lone female
dressing need not be provocative. just shirt and jeans will do
teens and above

group of males, at least 2 or more
any age.

bus stops
along roads
mostly where the victim and the idiot(s) are the only 2 parties around

ok. so with this in mind, lets examine what happens, using my experiences.
on occassion, i have been hooted at by guys sitting at the busstop opposite the road, been honked at by various people in vehicles while sitting at my busstop, been harrassed by guys at the shop houses near my place, roared at by a whole tonner of army boys (that was actually pretty funny...cos it was amazing at how many faces filled the back of the tonner) and one incident which i will never forget.
these 2 idiots were in a truck and passing by my bus stop. its the kind of truck with a large, long side window. as it passes me, the front passenger sticks out his tongue and rolls his eyes, mashing himself against the window. i'm like... hello? you look like you're 20 or 30... what are you trying to do???

of all the incidents, the only one i can forgive is the tonner incident. partly cos it left me laughing out loud. and army boys are really rather bored creatures and the whole thing looked pretty rehearsed.
the rest were... well, older men. i mean, what kind of guy does this kind of thing? it IS sexual harrassment, no matter how harmless you think it is. get that into your heads (the one on your neck, that is). i was walking back home the other day, totally covered up in jeans and a high neck top with sleeves. and the idiots at the shop started making noise. i was so tempted to just give them a middle finger. a subtle kind, like not looking at them, just raise my hand next to my face kind.
hah. good thing i have more self control than that.