Sunday, January 30, 2011

The evolution of a monster

Seems like blogging off an ipad is screwing my normal blog formats. Anyhow maybe i should make a change to my formats.
Had a very interesting chat with ant today, wish i could have done it at a computer cos it would have been somewhat easier with a full sized keypad, a large monitor, and less lag. I had the convo on msn off my bb torch
So... The topics were... Girls, ogres, and evolution.
And needing to be listened to.
I do wanna talk about this a little more, but i haven't exactly had time to think about it in detail. So I'll just leave it to after Ant and i talk again.
I wonder why people make the same mistakes which they hate other people making. I'm definitely guilty of that too. And it just seems that you're exempt because you, (like everyone else, btw) have A Very Good Reason.
Too often, I see people becoming what they hate.
And too often, i manage to predict this.
Lets see if my latest prediction comes true. Hope it doesn't... But I think it might...

And, here's a little rage-y section...
With regards to people i dont really give a damn about, I might be able to excuse a lot of things, but this is just something I cannot close one eye to.
You're not only thick-skinned and dishonest, you're downright despicable.
I'm gonna stick around and see how much lower you can sink.
You'd be honoured if you knew who you were, you actually managed to penetrate my shield of indifference.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

I wonder

So. It came over me quite suddenly. This feeling of being in limbo.
Not having what i want and need, yet not willing to revert, and not bothering to search. Anymore.
And I guess I always knew this sadness was in me somewhere.
It's just safer to not let myself feel it.
As long as i don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist. Its not true.
I could waft through life like a scent in a department stall. Mingling with all the countless other scents, overpowering some and being overpowered by some.
But blending in with everything else eventually... And just. Dealing.
And I might be irritated by many things, but there are few things that i profess to hate.
And i hate. Losing control.
So much so that forcing myself to conform is preferable to losing it and running around in circles trying to escape, when i already told myself not to.

I'm considering keeping this as one of my never to be posted drafts... Because although it tells the reader nothing, its one of my more honest posts, simply because it very accurately describes how I'm feeling.

Or is it just the pms talking.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad