Tuesday, March 31, 2009

[ 31032009 6.31pm | mooned. ]

I'm not sure what possessed me to re-read new moon last night... It might be because i was reading msn today about twilight vs let the right one in (a film i wanna catch STILL)... Or it might be because i wasnt feeling quite too happy. Either way, it kept me up til 330am. I was totally disoriented yesterday somehow...
I skimmed through the middle portion and stopped after the climax.
I think... The beauty of the book is in the feelings it evokes. This is definitely one series that relies on emotional experiences to connect with the reader. Other than that though... Its might actually border on being lame.
Edward ruined it for mortal men.

Monday, March 30, 2009

[ 30032009 3.54pm | daddyyyy ]

i have a quick minute to talk about how much i appreciate my dad.
i got back one day to find my overflowing dustbin cleared. i presume it was my dad because he does most of the cleaning around the house.
today as i was rushing out of the house, he ran after me with a container of cut fruit. the lid wasn't closed properly, or maybe i was just being the extremely rough self that i am, so all the fruit fell out into my bag. i picked them all out on my bus trip and put them back into the container. then i washed them out when i reached the office and ate it up. all 20pcs. he even included a toothpick. =D
he takes my laundry in on mondays when the sun isnt hot enough on sunday to dry it up. my mum does it too, but she grumbles about it. =x
and i remember... when i was sick and in the half dreamland kind of rest, he appeared at my bedside to check on me... and i was irrationally shocked out my sleep... he quickly bent over and hugged me til i calmed down. and i was... 20+ already.
not to say that i dont appreciate my mum, i definitely do, for her daily diligence and her care, which she shows in her own way.
i guess i'm just feeling happy about the fruit this morning.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

i'm a little tired of hearing old news, repeated news, stale news, and irritating news. so yeah... if i reply a little too unenthusiastically, i'm sorry. i'll do better. (if i'm not in a pls fk off mood)
if you pm me in real life, and i'm not busy or afk, and in the right mood, i might grace you with a "hihi". so try your luck.
otherwise, have fun talking to the wall.

i shall now proceed to bore you all with an account of my weekend.
on friday, i woke early, at 7+ to go offshore fishing. i'm kinda lazy to upload the pics of the fish i got (again), but suffice it to say that i did pretty ok for myself.
i got back to shore and home around 6, and gutted the 3 fish i brough back. we split our catch at the end of the day.
so... after the 2kg or so (my estimation is a little out of whack these few days but i think its about there) garoupa (its bigger than raisin, my chihuahua), gutting the 2 300g or so snappers were a breeze. when i stuck my thumb in their mouths to anchor them for me to skin/gut them i was like oooo... their mouth so soft....
a garoupa, btw, has a very thorny throat. the inside of their gills are awesomely painful to grab, its like... longer and sharper cats teeth, in rows and rows all the way down its throat.
the 2 smaller softer fish were amusing. they had prawns in their gut. in various stages of being digested.
SO all fishy and stuff, i went to bathe and prep for my friend RUTH's birthday. quarter of a century!!
we had a great meal of truffle fries (*loveee) at HOUSE @ dempsey and i caught a cab home after being dropped off somewhere in amk.
i reached home, very very shacked only to discover (cue the stereotypically horror movie music now) that i forgot to bring my keys out.
so... i spent my night in the car in the garage.
after ransacking the laundry basket and backseat for sleep clothes.
thank God there was the pillow that my sis bought for my dad in the car too, or i might have suffocated myself due to a twisted trachea from sleeping in weird neck-achey positions.
i ran into the house in the morning when my dad came out to feed the dogs and had (cue the same music again)
a fantastic pee.
then i went to sleep.
and then i went to training.
and after training i went with dawn and her colleagues on an eating spree.
macpherson kuay chap, then udders cafe icecream.
ta icecream ftw.
thennnnnnnnnn home and collapse.


i realise that some people might enjoy my boring monologue, for those that didnt, too bad. i didnt ask u you read.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

[ 18032009 2.31am | why i am not sleeping ]

because i have a very unhappy stomach.
because i'm headachey
because i woke at around 3pm after a painful sleepless night.


i've got so many thoughts.
lmao... don't i always?
am reading marley and me, which is an excellent book, for anyone who has kept a dog, or a pet.
it makes me think of my first dog... the experiences aren't that far off, except for the really outrageous ones.
i can't express myself as well as i do through writing, in any other way. not that i think my command of the language is THAT good, but i think i'm a kinetic learner/thinker.
it suits me well, because i can edit what i want to say.

a full circle
pathetic fish in pain. and feeling very warm and headachey.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

[ 110309 1.03am | after office hours. ]

i've been thinking about yet another issue. How flighty i am... I havent even wrapped up my gaming scene entry and here i am launching another rocket into the outer space of contemplation.

K, just trying to sound funky there without actually making much sense.

So, lets get down to business.
Yes, i literally mean businesses and how they are run.
In keeping with my organised, thesis like writing style which i typically use when i'm trying to sound neutral when talking about an issue i do not exactly feel neutrally about, but want to sound like i AM neutral about...
Here's the background:
Production of goods, and to some extent, services, has moved from the fordist model of 'just in case' to the 'just in time'.For those not so familiar with economic geog terms (which i myself might use wrongly cos im quite out of touch, having graduated 3 years ago!!!), this means that instead of mass producing goods, in seriously enormous quantities, just in case there is a demand for them, we now produce in efficient quantities which supply the demand just in time.
Of course there are many reasons and phenomena which make this possible - improved telecommunications, reduced transportation costs, more efficient transportation, better political relations etcetc, but thats the overview of changing production methods.

Ok Miss Long Winded is done with the intro.Here's the issue. Due to this improved efficiency, this speedy response on a macro scale, a generation of impatient youngsters has emerged. Not just that, a generation which believes in OTOT ( i definitely dont mean overtime... Its own time own target) as long as i get my work done, as long as i ace my exams/why do you bother what time i get to work/if i turn up for school.
I dont mean to say that they are lazy and skivving, on the contrary, they might actually be very driven individuals who might work all night, sleep til noon before working til 6am again. Its just that they do not follow the 'norm' as perscribed by earlier generations of the workforce. As such, they are misunderstood, to a large extent, and envied - by those of similar mindsets but whom are unable to follow and break out of the mould.

That said, there's a certain amount of discipline in waking up early daily and sleeping early so that you can wake up early the next day. It helps you master yourself in a way that few things can. And, there are, unfortunately many reasons why the workforce should have their worktime fixed. Good reasons, may i add.
1) actually being able to draw a line between work time and private time.
2) having everyone together at the same time so that all the communication and work can be done at the same time, enabline 1) to occur.

i dunno.
i guess that being one of these new generation youngsters is ... cool, if you're a boss, but sucky if you're a subordinate. especially if its to someone who believes in old fashioned discipline.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

[ 2.01am 03032009 | mullberry trees and monkeys ]

i've been pondering an issue close to my heart.
it has been quite a while, and i think i need to put my thoughts in order - something i do best through writing.
of course there have been recent events which have triggered this off, but i wouldn't pin it down to any PARTICULAR event. more... long term simmering thoughts and recent issues. [so, no offence, or personal attack is intended. yes i'm referring to YOU. ]
how do you draw the line between self gain and the good for the community. the gaming community in particular.
k lets put this in context.
1) singapore is more or less monopolised by one gaming events company, or a couple.
2) singapore has plenty of gamers, mostly of a high standard - competitive level. this means that there IS a market, there is room for a gaming industry to grow.
3) most gamers are teens / young.

next, let me share the issues, in the form of questions which i have been mulling over.
1) a gaming events company is not the same as an events company simply because it specialises in gaming. it is a subset, if you wish, but not totally so.
2) customer is king, but what happens when your customers are kids who aren't exactly mature, but DO have spending power.
3) which customer do you satisfy - the sponsor or the gamer.
4) when given a sum of money by the sponsor, to use as you deem fit - ie, as a manager, as an organiser - exactly how much of it should you give back to the community/team, and how much should you be keeping and spending on yourself.
after you've digested these questions, maybe you'd like to think about how you would answer them...
i wonder if these issues have even occurred to us (the collective community).
certain disturbing (to me at least) trends on my list :
1) these kids are just wasting my time, if they don't know how to follow instructions then i'm just going to save time and hand out a double walkover, and i can also treat them like shit because they are kids, they don't have power.
- if, the gaming events company was just an events company, i might overlook this. however, you, as an organiser, claim to be SPECIALISED in handling gaming events. if you don't even know how to satisfy/gain the respect of the people you seek to reach out to, why should the sponsors trust you to be able to market their brand to that audience?
2) if they want to boycott the competition, go ahead. i will have other teams coming to fill up the slots.
- this will only survive as long as there is a monopoly (of sorts). many gamers take part in competitions organised because there is simply... only THAT competition to take part in. boycotts, HAVE been happening recently. i'm interested to see, from a sociological point of view of course, definitely no malice intended here, the outcome of a particular tourney which many have decided to boycott.
3) this is a full time job for me, i deserve the largest cut.
- well, yes, i do believe that you need the money to feed yourself, house yourself etc. and obviously you cannot be surviving hand to mouth. but at least, try not to SEEM greedy while doing that. people CAN do the maths, and they WILL question. trust me, they will. they're in it for the $ as well, for some gaming is their full time job as much as organisation/managing is your full time job.
4) i was thinking about team things with dawn, and we both agreed that if we got ourselves a manager, it would be someone who doesn't game. then again. WHY?
- our version of a manager would be someone who handles the admin stuff, the coverage, the website, the registration, plane tickets, hotel bookings. decisions about the team, gameplay, we'd prefer to keep to ourselves. its about control, and carving our own paths. if we want a coach, we'll get a coach, and call him/her a coach. not a manager.

of course, i could be idealistic in my views. and my position as a gamer might cloud my view.
but let me make this clear, i'm as intolerant of inefficiency and "idiots" as any other person, in fact i think i'm more impatient than most. BUT i think i DO know when to be professional.
but i do believe there is a certain amount of professionalism required, and a great amount of understanding of the community, before you will be a respected and supported leader of the community.
of course, we're going around in circles aren't we.
who wants to be a respected and supported leader of the community, i just want to make money right? i mean, who doesnt? and there are so few competitiors! i can do more or less what i want.
i'm getting tired, so i'm going to let you mull over this as i sleep.
i'll prob follow up with another entry.
but let me leave you with the words a wise person once said,"the people you piss on on your way up, are the same people who will piss on you on your way down."