[ 13012008 9.29pm twist ]

so the day has arrived. my parents have just left for a month in New Zealand. surprisingly, i dont feel the great sense of freedom that their leaving normally brings. maybe its cos i have been having all i wanted already. it does however, give me great warmth and happiness to recall our parting hugs and sweet exchange... touching, in fact.
considering the recent unrest in the house due to my insistence on carrying on ruining my life and health, it was just the healing i needed to hear as my mum hugged me and told me she loved me so much... that i am, and always will be, the apple of their eye. (to which i retorted, are u sure its not the apple IN your eye... ie. a nuisance, for my more dim witted readers.)
up til now... it still gives me a shock everytime i take a good look at my parents, to realise that they are really getting on in age. how much of our time together have we wasted... how much more of the rest of the time we have together will we waste?
hopefully, not enough to regret.

***

the twist i felt in my heart was, in all honesty, tangible. its the knowledge that it could have been mine. mine to have and to hold... to cherish and to live.
but isnt.
how much are you willing to sacrifice for what you want.
this is what i want. it is what i am sure i want.
yet, the only thing i am totally sure of, i am denied.
i can only wait for the day that God chooses to unveil my eyes, and show me the reason why i had to walk the path i did.
and in true human fashion, i hope its soon.

one day i will look at this post... and i will go... "silly me... it was all clear to me, just that i failed to see it."

[ 07012008 5.25pm gosu/weird ]

i'm on 2 days MC cos i'm having flu =(
quick everyone, feel sorry for me now.

***

i have a gosu sister. meeting her is like meeting santa claus. yesterday went for gosu pizza at da paolo, near holland V area, then went to her place.
then then then... she give me her ipod, and a big big bag of clothes. got diesel, topshop all this inside.

***

i got weird dad. my mum is scared of lizards. then he go kitchen, catch all and put in plastic bag. then i think he wants to throw them away or something. but he say bag havent fill up. must catch more before throwing away. !!!!!!!

[ 05012008 3.06pm a late christmas ]

my blog is boring. i'm sorry! life is just too full right now... so full that i cant spend much time writing about it.

whenever my sister comes home to visit... its like christmas. over the NYE/NY holidays, she popped by with tons of gifts. not to mention, the mood in the house is tangibly brighter with her presence. and she mass gave me things... like...
5 necklaces - 1 from forever21, 2 from Aldo accessories, and 2 from dunno where.
1 anna sui bracelet
1 purple guess wallet
1 levi's journal/organiser
2 sallyhansen nail polishes, and 1 cuticle cleaner thing
1 yves saint laurent mascara
and a juicy couture bag charm.
o... and a $250 pair of pumas. forgot which designer collaborated to create it.

*wiggles eyebrows

***

everytime i start doing my laundry, its shining brightly. by the time i'm done and hanging it out, its pouring. like now.

***

working with a PRC national makes me appreciate many things about SG that we take for granted. like curry and prata. easy application of credit cards. healthcare.

***

christmas eve was spent having an office party in the early part of the day, and church later on. christmas it self... i think i spent slacking at the igloo. i honestly cant remember. NYE was spent watching zenith compete in CAPL. and since they won, that means til 10pm. zz. after which, hy and i chanced upon this dress shop... and went crazy for a while, eventually ending up buying the same dress. dinner was pretty good. chicago steak house at cine. their mushroom sauce was some woots. i think tofu licked every sauce container clean. my salmon was kinda dry... but the lamb was passable. it was well marinated, at least. with lots of rosemary <3
while most of the the micronology branch went off to watch AVP2 at 12.10, i went off to GGK with hammy, ken, bald nutz and ice where i flopped but had fun until i eventually fell asleep and got mega grumpy.
im weak. and old. i cant ton anymore.
i think i got back around... 7-8am. then. i slept.
until my sister woke me up around 12.
after she presented me with mass gifts, we had gosu lunch cooked by mum. sri lankan air flown crabs =p and roast chicken with salad after.

***

i miss fishing. i want to go fishing. salty sea air tangling up your hair, the tug of the current against your weight and bait... the swaying of the pontoon with the waves.
feeshing!!

***

i think its time to organise one of those dota bbqs again. ones that we used to have so often last time. lets go book a pit at ECP and round up everyone!