[ 29112007 1.35pm down. ]

i'd say i'm mildly depressed.
whatwith juggling a full and overtime work day, meeting him for dinner, and then trying to squeeze a game of dota in when i reach home, something has to give.
and what gives is my sleep, and time spent with parents.

met up with my sis and went to wasabi tei this week. not bad, i treated her to dinner, and she bought me a dress which cost about twice as much as the dinner.

i'm currently in a swirl of weird confused emotions. feelings that i should be happy and relieved and free, yet being held back by something... that i can only describe as ominous.
repercussions.
consequences.
why do i do the exact thing that i hate other people to do to me?

how much am i willing to sacrifice for this?

[ 16112007 1.30am | sigh. ]

i havent seen cyn look quite so angry in a long while.
maybe its just cos i havent seen cyn very often for a long time.
at a point in time i didnt even speak a single word to her in months. suddenly it feels weird not talking to her on msn during dreary mornings at work.

common aims.

i feel mass lamed.
but generally heartened.

seeing shan tml after work with dawnnnnn. finally. evil A's.


s l e e p

[ 10112007 1.56pm baggage ]

its always nice to start off anew, than to plunge back into your wardrobe which is full of skeletons and old luggage.

was dead tired at 12am last night, and i have no idea why. post gxl, went to beer garden with a bunch of ppl i havent hung out with in... a long time. alan ruby cyn crea kimchi and ice. i regret not ordering the ji lo...
oh well.

the unwilling player.
hmph.

[ 08112007 11.55pm LAN OUTING!]

li chung aka exo announces on my tag: mdf dota outing nov 11. at cyberdome. those interested to go see see, leave me a tag/msn me/pm me in irc! i'm most likely going down to kpo abit. its on from about... 1-7pm.
i'm prob going to watch the other half of my team compete in GXL at some lan place at some point in the day though.

***

been frequenting networms, the lan shop that has taken over the space egames@prinsep used to occupy. Razer DB3G and mantis mats, new clean environment, fresh smelling, decent coms, easier on the eye, but lost the key to the ladies... so the ladies have to use the gents!
not a bad place, but a little pricey as compared to the lanshops just opposite the road at parklane.
alot of why i go back is nostalgia... egames of 2005. won't forget it ever.
its good to not have to change mouse also. haha... since my mouse of choice since 2004 has been the Razer Diamondback.

***

thoughts on GXL :
it was very strange. i registered myself as female, but somehow i became male. i put in my correct birthdate, but i when i logged in recently, i was told that i was born sometime this year. i cant manage my team, add members, and i cant private message people. which makes things very complicated, cos i kinda have no way of contacting opponents unless i happen to know them irl, or find them in irc at #gxl.
i mean... ok, if i put my real ic number, and my real address, my real hp number... why would i lie about my sex, or when i was born? and if i or my team got banned cos of it, then, well... i'd think it was really lame. cos i DID enter the correct info at the start, if the web is buggy, and my correct info changes halfway through, i'm not EVER vigilant, because i DONT expect my info to CHANGE BY ITSELF.
anyhow, all seems to be going fine...

[ 03112007 2.36am more thoughts ]

i cant figure out what you're thinking. i dont know what you want. maybe you should just be open with me. maybe you should just talk. someone's gotta close the distance, someone's gotta put themself out there to potentially be stepped on first. its a gradual growth from give and take to just giving without having to watch your back. you want it, so do i.
we can work out. at what cost? to who's disadvantage?

to the girls who have lousy bf's, take heart, half the world suffers with you. we've just gotta accept that guys are born with a few million less brain cells than us.
you know. if she's not what you want, stop wasting your time and her 心血。you'll just leave her more broken.


i taste blood in my mouth. and i have no idea where its from.

[ 01112007 4.27pm happy halloweeeeenn. ]

pic taken with web cam during convie with cyn. haha...

had a halloween costume competition during lunch hour in the office yesterday.

the guy who got first was dressed as a ballerina with a short skirt, halter top, wings, blonde wig, and a pair of hairy balls dangling from beneath the skirt. lol!