[ 260308 1.19am inadequate ]

i could go on and on a list of complaints, but in the end it boils down to that one word.


inadequate.



not living up to your expectations. to other people's expectations of you. of falling short.
i'm reaching the end of my tether, way too soon. or maybe i just lack direction. or maybe i'm like a blinkered cart-horse that can only see the small semicircle infront.

**
did an interview for straits times today, i'm not sure when it will be out. i will probaby update. its about generation Y's and their working attitudes. it made me soul search, unexpectedly, about what i want in a job. yes, the environment and the culture. yes, the pay. yes, what the company is about.
i love having a free rein.
i love exposure, learning new things, trying out new things.
i love doing the things i love.
am i too individualistic? too self-centered?
too... indulgent?
spoilt perhaps.

***
i'm tired. i had a long day. but i cant sleep i'm just thinking about too many things.
so many things that i'm not sure where to start unravelling the train of thoughts.


i am unfortunately in a suicidal mood again. i had this urge to do a 10km jog again... pity i lack running shoes now...
theres someting about the rhythmic pounding of feet, in sync with a heavy heartbeat that clears my mind.
i need it i need it.
fishing. in the dead of the night.
maybe i just need a dose of the seaside.


Am reading Romeo and Juliet again. because ice mentioned it a while ago. i remember memorising lines from it...
Bondage is hoarse and may not speak aloud,
Else would I tear the cave where Echo lies
And make her airy tongue more hoarse than mine
With repetition of "My Romeo!"

sigh. love the language. even though its a household play... and so commonly read and (mis)quoted..

deny thy father, and refuse thy name
or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
and i'll no longer be a Capulet!

what's in a name? that which we call a rose,
by any other word would smell as sweet.

lovely. it like listening to lyrics nicely written chinese songs. you never realised that thoughts and feelings could be put across so accurately and beautifully.

[ 250308 2.59pm extra vids ]

click on the play button of the top picture. i have no idea why theres a picture of the first frame as well.

some are just meant to be LISTENED to, since they were taken in the dark.

in JB during the Malaysia CC CyberStar competition.

at Chinatown PartyWorld

at Chinatown PartyWorld

[ 240308 9.32pm one of the best weekends ever. ]

nerd + nerd = yamateh + papaxiong

@ ggkatong

" sohai " ice
@ggkatong
(he said he look sohai in this picture himself!!)


ymt's concoction
@chinatown

greeedyy ice
@china town

trio of nerds @ gght

iceiceice trying to kiss ymt whos emoing into mic.

@partyworld chinatown

and seriously, it was.

started off with some dramatic red carpet 2 hr late entrance, and ended with a pretty dramatic 2 hr over parking time exit.

lol.

thanks guys, and sheep. it was one helluva weekend.



嗯嗯。。。 真的玩得很开心。。。

[ 21.03.08 11.39am dispell ]

ok. in case people start getting weird ideas, i'm throwing up cos my antibiotics dont agree with me. unless i'm the next Mother Mary, i cant be pregnant.


i do believe that i sound pretty lucid in most of my posts, and even if i dont, its probably cos i'm releasing some kind of tension that i've accumulated. and its more advisable for me to release negative feelings via my blog. i can be pretty evil in real life.

***
met ant last night, we were all commenting on his change from being a termite to red ant to black ant. hairless one of course. cos thats what NS does to you.

[ 18.03.08 10.15pm omgosh i forgot my layout ]

i havent blogged for over a mth on this blog. omgosh!!! i even forgot my header layout. noobfish.

i'm currently feeling mega sick and kinda wrong in the head. i'm ready to puke and die. good thing i have a dustbin next to me to puke into.

as you can see, i have nothing much to talk about.

or maybe i do, just that i'm not.
k. let me rack my brains. btw, ice told me that women's brains are heavier than men's brains.

1) i took out my wisdom teeth.
-it was pretty cool. well worth my SGD2k. they gave me laughing gas, IV-sedation (which is basically a mild GA, it puts you to sleep), and local anaesthetic. my wisdoms are impacted and kinda screwed. bottom ones, that is. top ones are obediant. so i was happilly asleep while the dentist wrestled his way into my mouth.
gurgh.
definitely up there on my "must try once in a lifetime" list together with breaking a leg. (which i also have done)

2) had a gosu weekend trip which i will not elaborate on.

3) my parents paid off my study loan for me.
*sings with joy*

4) go watch simon's cat. on youtube. just search for it. i'm not linking you, you lazy bum. and if you dont watch it, its your problem, not mine.

5) secret sunshine, chicken rice and tao huay. =D

6) 我要死了。。。。。。。。。

7) i like my life. no matter how screwed up it is. i like it. i like who i am. stubborn, grumpy, pain in the ass me. me who cares too much about dumb things. i love my parents, no matter how very irritating and restricting they can get. permissive parents are the ones who kill their kids eventually. "MAYBE YOUR MOTHER SHOULD HAVE SCOLDED YOU MORE!!!!!"
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee