[ 31032006 10.36am riding.on~* ]

riding on the high of winning our first ever match together as CaLz.X3M. all i can say is, i love you gals. and this is the reason why we will always be us five. what we build up together, we will not throw away easily. the next matches will not get easier, but i believe we will improve, individually and as a team. (boring - this aint no match review k... commentry, leave to hiro better!)

i'm especially proud of yandao and sher...
yandao : i'm so glad that u took my advice, i'm so glad that you can take what i say in such a good way! we WILL go from strength to strength, just take things step by step. changes are never easy... <3 and thanks so much for the vapourex... somehow the clan room just makes me cough tons... -_-
sher : i know somethings and circumstances aren't/weren't easy... just know that we're always here to give you that bear hug back k! i'm really proud of your last game gal, thank goodness for gab too yeah?

dawn and shan : thanks so much for sticking with us through the match(es) despite having sch and work the next day, and being sick. the commmittment you two put in is something that drives us on. well played gals, this is what makes a team!

***
the past few days have given me a different impression of the X3M ppl. the leadership is stable and committed. they think through things carefully, and they can handle things well. i wont mention events specifically (unless i'm forced to...), but i'm starting to really respect kel and huahero...
other than that, i find that i can actually connect and talk to the X3M people. mostly. well, at least those that i've talked to. discussions go further than just game analysis... it goes to team management, relationship issues, the community at large, clan issues... it makes me feel... involved. and really, it IS up to the members to involve themselves. their amount of sense of belonging is equivalent to how much of themselves they wanna give. i've only been in the clan for a week or so, but i'm starting to think that this could actually work out long term... =)

of cause, the pain of having to leave rEv0 and KaL... is still there. somewhere. and yes, its real and tangible.

***
been considering chionging standard games again... too much dota can get to you... but i love the team aspect of dota... i just.. love... it.
***

sorry for my super straggly update man... i've just gotten past my essay hell week, during which i still had to make time for team training and matches, and organisation and registration. i think i'm gonna have to rethink they way my team is handling things... cos in my busy times i'm not sure if i can manage so much.
***

to all of you who believe in us, lux cloud eter especially, i thank you, with my hand on my heart.
lux - i will keep my promise to you.

to the skeptics : JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE.

[ 19032006 7.12pm sick. ]

dotasg5v5 starts this week for me.
we are now x3m members. x3m.CaLz.
i needa go register for avalon. soon.

i have some kind of awful sinus attack. my fault i guess, late nights piaing essays last minute, for one. then chionging lan all night after 2 papers were in, just cos my body clock was whacked and cos i was suddenly feeling deprived.

good thing i managed to convince cloud to tawn, then he pei-ed me at irc and bm-ed ppl in game. lol...
cloud "hi rebecca!"
rebecca "who are you?"
cloud (me sleepily typing for him) "i'm your sex sch friend..."

its not my fault that "c" and "x" are so close together lor!

***
anyway. that was fri night.
been down to check out the inter-school dota compies, and managed to get the contacts of the chij gals dota team. *yay* its not easy to get a bunch of gals who are actually INTERESTED in playing dota competitively. skill can be trained up, as long as you are interested. INTEREST is the KEY. whee...

***
had family dinner on sat night, after which i got sick. so... zz. since then, i havent eaten anything but plants... and more plant juice... and more plants. and i dont think i'll be eating anything til tml.

***
2 more essays due... then its time to get down to some serious mugging... help me pls... dun jio me out to lan or play match too much. (yar right) actually, staying in hall is a natural inhibitor... cos the connection there is just too lousy. and anyway, playing from my laptop is just... too painful. graphics card lag pwns.

***
people are growing up so fast... my cousins... church friends...
scary stuff.
i cant believe that i've been alive for so long.

[ 07032006 3.45am on the contrary... ]

i do not game as much as you all think. admittedly, i spent 7 hrs at egames today, something i havent done in a long while. most of my lan gaming is one or two matches, then home. and i dont game on sundays, cos my mum will kick up at fuss at home. on weekdays, i dont game from hostel cos its just too laggy. see. i'm normal! so stop getting on my case...

***

met up with lux and ran off to egames at about 5... was feeling like shit. too many things on my mind i guess. and i tend to game to forget. kinda.
forgive the bad temper today =.=

***

have many deadlines coming up... i can do it. i can... slowly... but surely. just get it all done... then suffer one more month... and i'm out of school forever. how scary is that... i dunno if its something that i can deal with...

***

I'M NOT THE NYP TAMMY, SO PLS STOP HARRASSING ME, AND PLS STOP MAKING STUPID WISE-CRACKS ABOUT THE NAME ALREADY.
TAMMY IS A COMMON ENOUGH NAME, MORE THAN ONE PERSON CAN HAVE IT, AND IT DOESNT MEAN THAT ALL TAMMY'S ARE PORN STARS.

***

without trust, there is no love...

the jealousy will drive you mad...

why does my heart cry ?

feelings i can't fight...

You're free to leave me,

just don't deceive me...

and believe me when i say, "i love you"