[ 06042006 7.13am wondering. ]

ever had the feeling that people think you're crazy because you game so much? why does gaming carry a stigma that sports doesn't? i mean, if you are involved in competitive sports, people dont say that you are addicted and postulate that you have a mental illness or obsession... but if you are serious about competitive gaming, you have to deal with being called geek and addicted and all that.

i mean. there is just this certain look, that people who dont understand, give you when u tell them you've been training ______(insert game name here). it is the omgosh i wanna laugh or is this person for real look. especially when its gals you tell. they'll be like... huh? game got so fun one meh? or some other dumb comment like that. TOO FEW PEOPLE TAKE GAMING AS A SERIOUS SPORT. think about it, when you tell someone, o i like to go to the gym, they would probably say something like... o wow, you're so healthy. theres a sense of... awe and admiration for the person because he/she is able to take control of his/her body. when you tell people you spent the last 4 hrs gaming, they would give you an almost tangible sneer, and you can read the words "you are so out of control of your life" across his/her forehead.

and i dont think that the time spent on the respective activity is very much different!

yeah. sometimes i just dont get it.
***

ok. i dunno why things stress me out. maybe i just have to have more faith? where does having too much faith and turning a blind eye meet? where is the line drawn?
i wanna stay far away from that boundary... but i'm really... really... running out of steam. exams are in 2 weeks time or so. and i really have to prioritise studies now.
postponement of caring. is that possible? maybe i should give it a try.
***

fell asleep doing readings. i hate waking up in the middle of the night to turn my lights off... and sleeping on books isnt exactly comfortable. but... oh well. at least i'm starting to DO some work. SOME at least.
thursday. sigh.

i can't take it anymore... this kinda life is killing me...