Saturday, May 21, 2011


I wish I were many things.
More determined, mentally stronger, disciplined, heavier. More patient, better able to tolerate all that needs tolerating.
I guess I can work on all that - except getting heavier. That's really tough.

But I like the way I age.
It beats being a 5am-and-sitting-by-the-road-emoing-with-a-friend-who-probably-just-wants-to-go-home teen/tween. Not that I was ever like that, but you get the picture.
I like being self-assured; not because I have deluded ideas about how great I am, but because I'm comfortable with who I am.
But I must stress, that being comfortable, does not equate to being satisfied.

And I do wonder if I'm more of an anomaly, rather than the norm.
I guess these thoughts come because I have been re-reading and re-watching Naruto. And the scene where Tsunade observes that Konoha has plenty of strong-mind children (kudos to the 3rd Hokage) has somehow been floating in my subconsciousness.
I wish I could say that of the youngsters around me, or those I hear about, but obviously I can't.
We're breeding generations of weak children whose greatest hardship is having to take public bus home from school, whose greatest regret is... Ok I shan't say it.
Whose definitions of weak and strong are built around how aggressively you put your point across, whose paths to success and failure are carved by utilising (or NOT utilising) ones sexuality.

It is both annoying and disturbing. And I can't say which holds the greater percentage in my heart.
All I can say is, somehow I care. Even if it's against my own wishes.

But yes, there IS such a thing as caring too much.


Lawson said...

Now I see nothing wrong caring too much, btw i'm curious on the your discontinued sentence, "the children's greated regret..." what is it?

Tammy. said...

nooo... i'm not gonna reply this. but if you follow politics in SG, you should know what i'm getting at.