[ 31122003 2.33am | some funny mood ]

i cant believe that yet another year has passed... its way too fast for me. i dont think i'm gonna be used to writing '04 instead of '03... sigh.
'03... guess i have quite a few fond memories of this year... slacking like mad after A's, starting nus, floorball... bringing in the new and cleaning out the old... the gals...

in the past few days, i have caught lotr - all 3 - again, finished waterboys... uh... eric's house, shen's bbq... basically, life's been pretty good with my parents in malaysia! haha... sleeping habits are screwed once again, every alternate day i get only 3 hrs of sleep. but i somehow manage to survive.

well. let me just leave you with an ambiguous statement. God works in our lives. all you have to do is open your eyes, your big pretty eyes - to quote matrix , and you'll see it.

[ 26122003 12.54am | post-Christmas ]

the meaning of christmas has been... commercialised. was watching some christmas wish programme thing on tv mobile. there were people singing hymns... i was wondering how many of them actually knew what they were singing about or if they were "deaf to the lyrics"...

getting fewer presents each year, a reminder that i'm growing older and older... worse still, i dont even want presents. jaded...
haha...

this christmas was not really different from any other year, church, aunts house... got high on alcohol, caffeine and ham. yeah. and chocolate ice cream. fantastic combination =)
got a couple of presents, talked alot with my cousins... played cards.
yup.

somehow, i have a great urge to watch the entire lotr trilogy all over again. either that, or read the whole book... plus the appendices... want to get lost in a fantasy world... a world where people look so good. haha... gosh. liv tyler was like... glowing... an angel... fallen out of heaven... legolas too... they really just made the elves look so great... that inner glow, the perfect skin.

went out with my cuz and her friend jessica. not bad not bad.


oh yes, merry christmas people. =)

[ 22122003 9.10am | corny... ]

my dad " whats crueller than beating eggs?"
me " huh? err... eating them?"
my dad [ triumphantly ] " digging the eyes out of potatoes!"
me " ... "


apparently he was thinking about this all day... cos my mum made him skin and dig potatoes.
thats my dad for you =)

[ 22122003 12.34am | pet.peeves ]

was out for dinner today. mum was commenting on the unwell looking people around... and she asked me what i notice when i'm out and about. i said... behaviour. bad behaviour.

just thinking back on friday. went out with my gal bunch. needed to relieve ourselves, went to the toilet and queued up. right. so this old granny comes along with 2 kids. and as a toilet door opens, before i can even take a step forward, the hurries one pink clad kid into it. preposterous! i was like... pls, what on earth is happening to singaporeans nowadays! i yelled really loudly "excuese me, can you please queue up??!"
guess what, this rude granny just ignores me. her kid looks up at me in a "oops, what should i do" kinda thing, and the granny just totally ignores me! she shoos the kid in!!! wat the !#@$%!#$%!!!!!!!
then, the toilet behind me becomes vacant. and her second kid dashes in! like... double #$R@#

dong kindly said, aiyar, maybe urgent mah... kid...

i am totally disgusted with this man. i mean, ok, if your kid is urgent, i'm sure you can politely ask to jump queue, instead of just going ahead! i'm not unreasonable, i've been a kid before, i know how it feels to clutch your nether regions, with pee oozing out any second...
anyway.
yeah.

and i think, that if kids nowadays are getting worse, the fault lies on the older generation for teaching them the WRONG thing. note, WRONG. granny, if u read this, please, the least you can do, is apologise to those 2 girls for your indecent behaviour.
i'm disappointed and delusioned.
singaporeans can really suck. no wonder the government needs all these campaigns.

[ 18122003 12.44am | lifeless people should die ]

i just finished a game of warcraft. things were going fine... then, i met anti.gosu. that stupid lamer attacks partners in 2v2. what a bitch right. sigh. his account is 0-174. obviously he goes around losing games on purpose. i wonder what kind of kick he gets out of it. most likely, hes a pimply fat slob who has just lost too many games, hence, he has given up trying to make it and spends his sad life trying to ruin other peoples games.
people like this... should be pitied. put out of their misery. i say EUTHANASIA!!

songs of the moment:
linkin park - my december
vertical horizon - everything you want
trademark - miss you finally
sophie b hawkins - as i lay me down to sleep

[ 15122003 10.49pm | below.freezing ]

"everything lies about my room, in exactly the same way you left it when you were last here. the hurriedly taken off shirt, lying motionless in the corner upon a pair of familiar black shorts; the clumsily hung garments on a hanger, still bearing the lingering scent of you. even without seeing, i know your shoes sit patiently on my shoeshelf downstairs; your fresh change heaped hastily on top of mine in my wardrobe.
all remain, expecting your return, beckoning.
the various toiletries - a toothbrush here, a can of spray there, the odd jar of hair wax - strewn across my table like a giant hand dropped it from high above, leaving them to come to rest where they chose.
'your presence still lingers here / and it wont leave me alone'
memories we share. places made significant by certain incidents. a gift proclaiming our names. withered flowers standing lonesomely in containers. the guitar sitting silently without your warm embrace...
i pause from my typing and look up, only to have my eyes rest upon the place you used to stretch out on... you on one elbow, staring adoringly over at me as i type obliviously...
all that has a beginning, has an end - life, songs, happiness, a storm. you and i. even so,

you've left a thumbprint on my heart."



i am so meant to be a depressed artist.
went back to rj to play floorball today. nonsense man! i ate way too much lunch, in too great a hurry. how to run?? so i just walked around hitting whatever came to my blade. oh well. tiring fun man.
thanks to sir who organized it, who picked my up from home, who sent us to town, who paid for our dinner, who trashed us in pool. haha...
was pretty much dead tired - slept at like...430 and had to wake at 8+ for tuition. so i zaoed off home earlier than normal, dozing on the bus.
tomorrow's gonna be another long day, with my cousin jioing me out for lotr two towers extended version - not sure if i am going though - and training in the evening.

can someone tell me why i have this strange urge to watch something bleed profusely?

POI (point of information) : almond skins are POIsonous. toxic stuff. so remove them when you eat almonds.

shen's craving for baileys has left me ransacking my sister's room in search of some leftover alcohol from her wedding... give me drink!

anyway, "off i go then!"
hope sir has a good rest.

[ 14122003 8.09pm | organisation. ]

the past couple of days have been... more or less, hell. training's back in full swing and i'm starting tuition again. -_- as well as driving. meaning, that my life is gonna be one packed mess again. seems like i thrive on activity... in actual fact, i think i's rather have more time to myself and the people around me. its not that great running up and down like a mad pig all the time.
in case i forget :

this week's timetable

15 monday - tuition 9-11 / floorball @ rjc 2-?
16 tuesday - training 5-7.30 [mel coming back]
17 wednesday - tuition 9-11
18 thursday - training 6-9 / check exam results! *eek*
19 friday - driving? / tuition 9-11
20 saturday - centro ?-11 / start bidding for modules!
21 sunday - church 10-12

next week

22 monday - tuition 9-11
23 tuesday - youth group LOTR 945@dhoby ghaut [oh no! how abt training?]
24 wednesday - church (evening) / grandma's house
25 thursday - church 10-12 (pls dont tell me theres training...)
26 friday - tuition 9-11
27 saturday - training 9-11 / Eric's house / EDEN@centro?
28 sunday - church 10-12

week after that

29 monday - shen's house

things to fit in
* meet up with ming-kor
* infernal affair 3
* water boys (sorry fam... heehee)
* catch up with my AspI
* two towers with my couz

[ 11122003 2.14am | random.thoughts ]

- here's wishing my sis and seng a happy honeymoon at phiphi island. how fun! phiphi island is that place in thailand where they filmed "the beach", you know, the leo di cap movie...

- to joel and steph, hope they really have some kick ass fun on their cruise, that they'll be safe too.

- i bleached my hair! i really hope it won't start falling off *horrors*. thanks to kiat who endured all my yelling and stressed out ness through it all. hahaha... this is an event i do NOT wish repeated.

well, thats roughly it, i gotta go sleep or i wont wake in time for training tomolo at 6PM. haha...

[ 10122003 2.45pm | pouring. ]

its really storming over here... and i just wish i was out in the middle of the sea right now. or at least, on the beach. the stinging rain, blinding... the splattering sand, the waves washing up the beach...
the chill of soaking clothes, the comparative warmth of the sea water...
hair standing up cos of the electricity and wind...

in actual fact, things are always romanticised. like, the sea will probably be orange from inland water coming out of a canal... maybe carrying a dead dog or two along with it. yup, that happens. saw one in the water before. and it was blue. looked like the starhub dog, jack russel. seaweed and leaf litter would probably be everywhere, plastic bags, drink cans, broken glass... old shoes, fishing line.
haha... maybe a crate of beer again...

hi sue! =)

[ 09122003 12.22pm | groggy- ]

ok... my mum is trying to make my sleeping and waking times more normal. so... i'm suffering from jet lag now. -_-
finally, everything is over... now its time for the new couple to actually focus on their new relationship after all the fanfare. my sister is trying to dump her bed in my room and put a larger one in hers... which is disastrous since i like to see the floor in my room. grone.

raffles marina was a really nice place... *sigh* it was perfect on a monday night, it felt elite and classy... and the view was great too... peeping through a medley of masts and wires, you can see the distant foggy outline of malaysia and other outlying islands... the brightly lit 2nd link and checkpoint on the right...
very nice. theres no much more sea over here than at, say... east coast, where your view is cut off by bintan (or is it batam?) and many many many tankers.
maybe i'll start sailing there...

alot of the enjoyment last night came from the company. it was church wedding dinner and man, it was the most cheerful one of all. there was laughter from every table throughout the meal, especially mine ;) full of jokers...
o, and they screened the wedding video! the censored version of course... thanks to adrian who edited it all =) it was wonderful...
everyone knew everyone, everyone practically grew up together. it was really one big happy family. the best thing was, it was on monday evening, and raffles marina is so far out, so most of them took leave just to be there. can you imagine? so touching!

sorry if i lapse into colloquial now and then. i tend to think that writing must cater to the readers. and i guess a touch of colloquial makes it seem a little more personal.

i dunno... what is it about the sea that draws me to it? if i were one of the new age-ies, i might say that theres a rhythm in the ocean that mirrors mine. but i'm not a new age-ie.

my whole room smells of issey miyake. i think its originating from this one grey long sleeved shirt hanging in the corner there...

[ 07122003 8.43pm | mang guo shu ]

ok, i accidentally didnt save the post. so now, i gotta type it all out again.

second wedding dinner was at the mango tree at east coast park. the ambience and company made up for the lousy management, but it didnt make up for ppl who cheat us and say one thing but do another. thats gonna be really bad for his business. the food was ok, the spices werent as pungent as they should be, probably cos they short cut and use powder and essence instead of the actual spice. good point was that they used very little, if any, msg. but lots of salt.

it was really fun cos my table was mad. had baileys on the rocks, which helped too i guess. we had a really fun time, what with shaun trying to pick up the waitresses and getting stuck in the toilet which has a really really stiff door.

in all, the place was small, but the ambience was good. the food was ok, i can find better northern indian food... the management was lousy and the service was so so. not really a place i'd recommend.

went for law bash at centro after that. i missed the pageant cos of the dinner, so i had to be content with watching the king and queen nominees dance around after that and listen to their stories of tripping over steps. well.
after a night of baileys, i wasnt that hard up for drinks either... and the music was house (i think) all night. which can get kinda... urhm... after a while.
but i like the layout of the place. lots of sofas around to lounge on. the relaxing area is really quite big...
ran into many people there... some i havent even talked to before, some i hardly talked to prior to this, some i havent seen in quite a while. that was the best thing about centro last night i guess.

oh yeah. samson's really something.

later. off to game.
after - exam bliss. =)

[ 06122003 1.51am | thats enough...enough. ]

love, actually. catch it. i guarantee your heart will break. or at least melt.

"to me, you are perfect. and my wasted heart... will love you."
"worse than the total agony of being in love?"
"Would you stay, knowing that life would be a bit worse? or would you cut and run?"

killer quotes eh? but i think it'll mean more to you after you've watched it.
if you watch the show, watch out for:
- juliet and mark
- auriela and jamie
- sarah and her designer.

loved those three stories, in that order. beautiful.
juliet and mark - the classic story of unrequited love, of being torn between your best friend and the one you love.
auriela and jamie - have the same wavelength, but have a language barrier. beautiful the way the director put it across
sarah and her designer - its just so sweet that she realises her true love is her brother... btw, the designers real interesting looking.
was a little grosed out by the kid... and joanna. its so warped. and she taller than him. but anyway, i just think its so not right.

[ 05122003 1.42am | reminiscing ]

just thinking back to my holiday in bali in july... gosh that place is heaven. the surf is fantastic, the beach is really gradual see, and the surf breaks real far out. so by the time it reaches where you are, its just lapping at your feet... like a lake. out there, about 40m out, the surf breaks. nice and hard. you can break your eardrum if you face it in the wrong direction. gorgeous.
and the weather is beauitful... sunny enough to tan, cool enough not to sweat like a pig. in the cool season that is. the water's really nice and cold too...
when the surf rolls over and is about to break... the evening sun shining through at an angle... you can see shadowy shapes of fish at the crest... its damn funny. they are all swimming in a downwards direction...

sigh... i really miss that place...

surfing was great there too... i'll never forget that man. i dont think shen will either... love the speed, the feeling of it all... the instability, fighting it... the adrenaline rush. the pain. the salt. every bit of it.

sounds like sailing eh? maybe what i need is not the sport but to be able to be out at sea... or on a beach with good surf. and great weather.

i tell you. sentosa falls short. so short. i'm gonna dream of bali for years to come i tell you.
o, did i mention. the sand is black. and as fine as flour. sensational.

---

anyway, back to the wedding nonsense.

yupz, so the choir leaves without helping to clear up. so the receptionists are late once again. this time, for the dinner itself. so, all the people there are angry and they are sitting wherever they please. most of them dont have much discretion, so they dont think about hierarchy and about proportion. meaning, they just sit all over the vip tables and they dont look to see whether theres an equal proportion of the brides side and the grooms side sitting in the central area. like... great. so i as receptionist has to panic until my hair falls off and try to clear some tables without causing a mess. doesnt help that the people around arent very... well... capable.

the restaurant didnt do that great a job either. but cant really blame them. they were supposed to serve cocktails next to the river, but, there was busking going on, so everyone just stood around the tables and talked... and were bored. so. great. the extra time was crucial.

families are supposed to be understanding. somehow, they can turn out to be the biggest pain and the largest nuisance around. excuese me for saying this in case any of my family members read this. but i'm just being honest from my own immature naive view. the worst part of my night would consist of a permanent black face cos if the wrong hierarchial seating and a yelling fella offending all the helpers. if you read this and you happen to know its you, then, too bad. i'dve loved to yell it in your face, but i refused to spoil the night for my sister.
actually, would you prefer a family where everyone just hecks and just leaves without telling the vips that they are going? or one where they are overbearing and fixated with certain issues? i cant decide which one is worse... but at least the one that bothers actually cares...

---

post wedding, we went to zouk. not all of us. but it was so mother crowded, the queue was so mother long, that we got pissed off and went in search of alternative entertainment. went to cine, but the 24hr cinema was closed. great. so why call it 24hrs then. and wound up playing pool. in clubbing clothes. excellent eh!

[ 04122003 10.33pm | somemore tests... ]


Idol


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

got this from hannah's site. and fam's too. since everyone's doing the test, might as well join in too eh? i'm an idol... erh?
"people love you but they hate you and sometimes you hate yourself and can't figure out why..."
i wonder if all this is crap or if it actually holds some truth...

[ 04122003 3.36am | post-chaos ]

wow. its really been a day. and a night. my sister is presently mrs... how big a deal is that. other than making me feel really really much much older, its a new phase in all our lives.
anyway, my day started really early. cos they got this nice guy called alvin to do our make up for us. he's good... really pro. and the best thing is, its all self taught. well, since theres only one make up artist, and 6 gals who need make up done, and we have to be in church by 3+ 4, hence, i had to wake up at 9 am just to do my make up. -_- after that i just went back to my bed and slept. and ruined my hair. so i had to do it all over again. well, anyway, the day was spent running up and down, trying to get everything sorted and prepared so the bride wouldnt be stressed. its a day where everyone except the bride is stressed. no matter what, the day has to be perfect for her kinda thing. =)

well... we, the receptionists, were late, cos there were so many last minute things to be done at home. by the time we got to the chapel, most of the guestsm had arrived... so... well. great.
then, they started scattering flowers down the aisle... out of a cold storage plastic bag. so glam hor.
but well, i think the service went well. the weather was great, praise the Lord... and the sermon and everything was short and to the point. and cos it was a small affair, and everyone knew everyone, you know... the kinda thing where you pratically grew up with each other... so... it was really personal and stuff... like... ppl could crack jokes and the whole chapel would laugh together.

well. disaster strikes when the choir left without helping clear up...
but i'm too tired to go into that now... shall continue tomolo... or rather, when i have time tomolo post-clearing the aftermath of a home spun wedding...

[ 01122003 10.40pm | tiring. ]

ok. i've been a semi-coma all day... its not fun anymore. had a rehearsal for my sister's wedding. it was raining! haha... oh well. after it, i smelt of muffin cos i was hugging him all day. muffin's a cocker spaniel, in case that previous sentence sounded ridiculous. to clarify further, muffin's the page boy. thats why he was around all day. a very naughty and excitable page boy he is too...
the church youths came down to rehearse too, singing for them see. all had dinner at seng's house. it was real fun... felt like it was back in church camp 2002... the talking and watever. =)
LOTR on the 23rd. morning. after which, they [ note: they, not us. ] will be going carolling. something i havent participated in for years... cos i just dont have the gift of song.

had a minor panic attack today. my sister cant get married til the 23rd!
why?
because they didnt go and sign some form which you have to sign 21 days before the wedding. according to sam, its for people to object. you know... the "speak now, or forever hold your peace" part?
so... they will be rushig to ROM to try to get approval. or they will be going on their honeymoon together without being legally married. hurhur.
but well, as long as they have the approval of God and they are married in the eyes of the church, everything should be fine. which is an interesting issue to discuss. cos, my parents weren't married in a church. they only went to ROM. so, technically, they didn't marry before God. hence, they have been living in sin all these years? mum clarified saying that the ROM guy is kinda like a pastor... so... well.

what is marriage... is it the emotional bonding of 2 people? the declaration that 2 persons are allowed to live together? the sanctification of sex? the passport to a hdb flat? is marriage a spiritual union as well as a physical one and emotional one? why do people want to marry? although its nice to be ogled at once in a while by the passing male, what matters more is that there is someone who will still love you when you're old and wrinkled.
don't even get me started on what love is. if you find the answer, feel free to tell me. although i doubt you will find it in your entire life.
how about soulmates? do you feel that there is this one person out there, who will make you complete, someone who is the other half of all the things you lack, someone who will complement you, someone you can share your innermost feelings with? listen to depeche mode - somebody if you don't get my idea of a soulmate.
do you marry your soulmate, or does your partner gradually become your soulmate? not clear enough?
is a soulmate just there, for you to find, to look for... or is a soulmate cultivated?

in the first place, do you have to love your soulmate?

am i too sleepy to put my screwed up thoughts logically?? maybe.

[ 01122003 2.03pm | zzZz... ]

feeling a little socked. was woken up at the unearthly hour of 12pm. *grone* its unearthly when u just fell asleep at 6.30am. anyway, i got my picture page up. people who highly object to being on, drop me a comment or something and i'll have your face removed permanently. *cackle*
i hope its actually accessible... cos blogspot is giving me hell right now.
let me know too.

time to nap... while my parents are out... zzZz...

[ 01122003 1.21am | on.organisation ]

well. i kinda wasted my day today, due to poor organisation. is inexperience a valid excuse for bad organisation? being vague, cos i dont want to piss anyone off here. had a chance to cool down already anyway. sigh. which means i cannot elaborate any further.

can you believe it. its december already...

This is my december
This is me alone
And i
( Just wish that i didnt feel
Like there was something i missed )

my sister will change her name in 3 days... what a thought.

oh yeah, i never got down to discussing the types of artists.
i think... i'll be a depressed goth artist. something like evanescence, but more pessimistic. man i wish i had her voice...