[ 29012009 6.21am | and...again. ]

life would be perfect, if only... (Trails off)

***

i've discovered a drink thats guaranteed to make me mega high for quite a few hours.
its called, Pokka milk tea.
its the reason why i am still awake at this hour, when i have work later in the morning.
I CAN'T FREAKING SLEEP.

***

and DAMN IT i have to sit down, after this festive season, and REALLY get some things GOING.
discipline man...
sheer discipline.
and... hmm. there's been recent developments, which i am really happy about. for more than one reason.
=D
I THINK! ITS TIME TO DO MY TRADEMARK "YOU" POST.
BUT before that... THANK YOU YAN YAN JIEJIE!!! i LURVE the songgggg
LMAO!!!

***

you are just so crazy i have no idea what the hell you're thinking sometimes. you're just asking for a wake up slap.
oh well.
you are making things run smoothly here, i'm happy about that. you're giving the hope needed, love it! lmaoooo. only that i wish you wouldn't take it away... AGAIN?
you are just so fking gross, save me... dunno how you turned out like that.
thank you for doing what you did, the air IS sweeter.
saw it coming for you... not saying anything about it can't prove anything though. but, man... saw it coming. not that its particularly good, OR bad... just saw it coming.
its a pity about you... you were nice. you still are i guess.
you... are just the encouragement needed lmao... and the pain in the ass too.
you... sigh... you... don't want to talk about you.

***


breaking dawn... revelations.
life is really about the people around. the absence, or presence of, the need for, the freedom from.
groan*

[ 28012009 1.58am | hair. ]

i kinda miss my platinum streak.

[ 27012009 3.31am | lmaooooo ]

And there you see the distinction between our feelings: had he been in my place and i in his, though i hated him with a hatred that turned my life to gall, i never would have raised a hand against him. you may look incredulous if you please! i never would have banished him from her society as long as she desired his. the moment her regard ceased, i would have torn his heart out, and drank his blood! But, till then - if you don't believe me, you don't know me - till then, i would have died by inches before i touched a single hair of his head!

"Shut your window if you want me to stay away tonight. i'll understand," he whispered just before i slammed the door.
I stamped my way up the stairs, and went straight to my window. i shoved the metal frame roughly - it crashed shut and the glass trembled.
i stared at the shivering black glass for a long moment, until it was still. Then i sighed, and opened the window as wide as it would go.

***

-2 + 4.
not bad though.

[ 23012009 12.03am | purpurhairfish ]

looks like that cos of the flash.

^^

and i expect the colour will wash out abit more.

weeeeeeee

i now match the walls of my room.

i wish i could be a little more specific right now, but unfortunately, my good senses tell me not to be.
i will however, be quite likely to be willing to elaborate on this matter should you ask me personally.
LOL.

i think. that people should let their anger get to them less. or at least retain some semblence of sanity and rational thought as they flare up, so that they can at least present their case.
pulling in 'names' just to threaten others into giving you your way just doesnt work, not when
you
are
clearly
in
the
wrong.
and have no idea what you are talking about.
loser.
incoherence, and absolutely no understanding of procedures at all gets you NOWHERE.
you're just ruining your own name, and the organisation you represent.
good grief.
pffft.

[ 5.44am 18012009 | post.dream.reflection ]

i had a dream. and i believe its connected to these certain thoughts :-
"you promised to love me for as long as we live. as far as i know, you're not dead yet, and neither am i."
it amazes me how easily one can change their hearts.
at first i wanted to say how easily -guys- change their hearts. but then, i decided to self reflect, and i think its not a gender thing.
probably.
i can see why it is stereotyped as a gender thing though.
the guy normally professes to love you through and through forever and ever, for always, the only one, will never forget you... all that crap.
and then, you find that they've found someone else a week later.
ogay.
i mean, yeah, you do take all those professions of love with a large pinch of salt in the first place, but, if you know... that its not POSSIBLE and that it will not be, then... temper your words.
or am i too jaded?
it is, afterall, morally wrong to expect a guy to emotionally castrate himself for the rest of his life, isnt it?

***

so much for the random thoughts.
today is a happyfishieday! even though its a tiredfishieday too.
=D

[ 16012009 1.24am | lurveeee is here ]

hi dawn... we both need lurve. so this is for usss...

no face, and toad face.
just ignore the 2 nerds behind...
=D

***

KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!!!????

this means thatttttttttttttttt

i have gotten my camera FIXED!

so i am motivated to clear and organise my memory cards in preparation of filling them up again.

with pics of YOU ALL not me.

猜不透
你最近是好是坏的沉默
我也不想去追问太多
但是他为彼此的戏上了锁

猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸
是真的是热的

如果乎远乎近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活
如果乎冷乎热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过


到底这感觉谁对谁错
我已经不想追求
越是在乎的人越是猜不透

[ 15012009 10.00am | ken.lee... ]

was just watching the bulgarian idol contestant massacre ken lee.
hahaa...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cT18LZItBLA&NR=1 this is the version after she improves her english. still ken leeeeeee but BETTER.


***

http://www.wowarmory.com/character-achievements.xml?r=Frostmourne&n=Anaitis

MEEEEEEEE!!


***

i think i need some lurveee....

[ 07012008 8.08pm | @#%$%^&%* ]

dont tell me something when you have NO INTENTION of doing it.
i shall do no more than participate.
bad mood?
yes.
i need to kill someone.

"If You're Not The One"

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I'll never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms....


***

a song that bring back memories.
more cos of the time frame.
cheesy and emo though.
*smiles sadly.

[ 03012009 4.21am | weeeeeeee ]

had a wonderful day today.
kinda.
my long meeting was cancelled, 12pm-6pm kind of long, and we spontaneously met up for steamboat at bugis, with excellent attendance. just missing *some princess*.
after a week of pretty hard core wow-ing, i had some good dota games with everyone's favourite chihuahua. good meaning cheerful, laugh like siao kinda games.
she's weak, so she went to sleep, and i went back to wow. i spent an hour searching for Faldir's cove in Arathi, which got me really tired. i was, however, brought by an alliance town and we had a good 5 minutes or so of pking town guards who were shouting weird languages (no doubt abuses) at us.
lol.
***
looking back.
i've realised some things, and i question others.
staying true to yourself, only applies in certain situations. a large proportion of our lives is spent doing things because you have to, or because you need to please someone.
being able to answer to yourself, is about as lame as a child declaring he's gonna play on the highway cos no one loves him.
i wish all of you happiness. true happiness. the kind of happiness that doesnt compromise other people's.
i've been able to accept so much more than i thought i could... its good training for the heart i guess.
and man... accepting is so different from plain shutting out. accepting is... not a log going with the flow, but a mangrove... standing firm against the tide, yet modified to suit the environment.
i feel... nice.
yay. 1) is done already, 3 days into the year.
then again, this is just how i would like you to see me as.
***
alot of actions are thought and feelings which are manifested. keep that in mind.
and i surprisingly manage to pick up alot of signals, sometimes without consciously knowing how.
so... there is something to be said about the female 6th sense.
bryan the crystal ball.
HAHAHHA.!! damn i forgot to ask him dawn...

[ 02012009 10.09am | newyearnewresolutions.newdisappointments ]

not feeling very optimistic about the new year. but oh well. so what about the new year? do you really think that time divides itself into years and months? what really delineates a year other than what we see on our calendars.
its just a convenient method of keeping track, the most convenient aspect of it being that its almost universal. currently, at least.
of course. you will have the irritating scientists and geographers (like me) telling you all about the solar and lunar cycles and how it takes xxx days to complete one rotation etcetc.
but it still comes back to the same thing. there's no real difference to distinguish one year from the next, one month from another.

***

internet is screwy. which pisses me off. for every 2 hrs i play, i spend 1 hr getting the connection back up.

***

this year, or these next 365 days, there are things i intend to do, and things i intend to accomplish, and things i would like to focus on.
1) is to be nicer
2) is to be punctual.
3) is to do something about my career
4) is to pick up something new. and i dont mean a new game.
5) is to visit a country i haven't been to yet.