[ 30062009 11.11pm | ATTACK!!!! ]

i had dinner.
and with my dinner, i had a plate of pickled green chillies.
you know, those normal kind of chillies that are available at all food shops in sg.
halfway through the plate of chillies, my friend picked out a 2 cm long cockroach.
-.-
after screaming and kicking up a fuss, we were given a new plate of chillies.
which we proceeded to devour.
UNTIL my friend picked out a mini half a cm long cockroach.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
its worse that its uncooked.
somehow.
***
sometimes a decision just has to be made.
other times, you can take some time to see how things develop before you give yourself the death sentence.
and sometimes, you already know how things are gonna play out, and how exactly you should mitigate the consequences.
i know how things will turn out, and i do not require a re-run.
***
i am a dead fish.
roadkill.
and i'm on caffeine.
drat the person who dried the first tea leaf.
he/she must have been a MEGA ASS.

[ 30062009 10.32am | dazed* ]

once again, i am a fish in a daze.
you'd think i should have gotten used to this by now - its been plaguing me for far too long - and well, yes, to a certain extent you DO get used to it and start to accept it as part of you.
the (cliche but true) roller-coaster of emotions and colour, the nothingness and utter emptiness, the pure longing.
the shadows in your memories.
waking up sobbing.

***
"Still what could've been is better than
What could never be at all"
read archives and came across this song by tiffany in an entry.
one of those forgotten songs.

***
oh... i think i needa add that... i'm not EMO!!!
my base mood has actually been decently GOOD.
=D

[ 090629 11.29pm | angryfish* ]

for some very strange irritaing reason, even blogger has decided to turn against me today.
i just need to assert. that.
i
am
me.
ME.
take a GOOD look.
i'm not your penknife when you can't find a pencil sharperner.
i'm not a can of cheap beer when you're looking for a hard liquor.
and i am, most assuredly, NOT your left hand when you cannot find a girl to bring home at night.
pardon my CHOICE OF WORDS. but i think it makes my POINT very clear.
you want TO PLAY? FINE. I PLAY WITH YOU. SEE WHO PLAY BETTER.
you have the ability to cut me quite deeply, but just make sure you've got a first aid kit ready when i decide to stab you.
***
ok that was good. maybe it wasnt me typing.
i am, once again, a purple fish.
=D
***
was looking through some COMMENTS which i missed out
"you should be glad that your guy is not improving himself and neglecting his grooming etc, that shows that he is not after some other girls.BE GRATEFUL FOR THAT.
3:13 AM"
yaya. okay, then go find a caveman who is content with food and sex - both provided by you - for the rest of your lives.

eXo said...
deep. deeeeeep.... were you REALLY blogging about a christmas list? lol 6eXo9
8:40 PM
quite obviously not... most of it is ficticious but the mood fit the moment.

***

i should be grateful for what i have.
lots of people would perceive me to be not just LUCKY but VERY LUCKY.
BUT, what EXACTLY is it that i DO have?
define it for me please - and leave out the cheesy crap. cos cheesy crap belongs in macdonalds burgers.
i need to write something ficticious again, before i drown myself in my hairdye-coloured bath water.

***

he inspires me.
in a shocking, tantalising... way.
he makes me snigger... and see things from another angle with his precise phrasing.
ahh... excellent. like a good strong cup of earl grey with lemon - crisp and warm.
he was always one of those who you always knew existed, but never really took a close look at.
what happened was something like.... getting a mosquito bite at the back of your ear.
suddenly that little area which you never inspected before is the point of much interest and scrutiny - and action.
so it happened like that one day.
reality happily slapped me in the face - and i was unexpectedly and suddenly craving more...

*side note, i think none of you would believe who this is about. LOL! suffice it to say, its not someone in asia... or perhaps... not even on this planet.
damn the perfect ficticious character.

**degenerates into random mumblings as i gradually tire of being angry...
i've gotta say that i've got almost superhuman self control.
they should make a cartoon hero out of me.
it's be nice to watch a furry fish on TV.

[ 24062009 11.52am | ITS BEEN ANOTHER YEAR!!! ]

its shen's birthday again!
***
i think my brain is made of cotton wool. it feels like it is, it thinks the same way a cotton wool brain would think, or how i think it should think.
buoyant and inordinately amused.
no wonder people crave drugs to make them feel this way.
this should be illegal.
and right now i'm just totally... drained.
there's only this much and long that you can sustain i guess.

[ 22062009 1.55pm | lalaland* ]

i'm in some kind of jet lagged daze and i'm attempting to pull myself out of it by forcing my brain to work at writing this post.
i don't think its working though cos i'm coming up with more and more typos, and its hindering my progress.
i was just introduced to a very cute song.
i'm wondering what i'm doing here.
i'm wondering if i should continue.
i'm wondering if i should go.
i'm wondering... what to say.
and i think i've forgotten which sentence above refers to what.
its nice to be in lalaland. everything seems... so calm... i'm languid. at peace.
kinda.
destiny. take it, its yours.
LOL - my variation.

[ 19062009 5.40am | departure- ]

Vancouver - 2.40pm 19june 09
i'm currently at vancouver airport AND GUESS WHAT i have 25% battery left cos i forgot to charge it at the lodge before coming out.
EEEK.
and i left my furryfish* jacket at the hotel.
DOUBLE EEEK!!!
( but my parents are still here, so they'll take it back for me. =D parents FTW )
SO... its back to mundane everyday life, training with the girls =) , some compies... and lots of photo uploading to do.
btw, even if i DID superimpose my face on those pics, WHAT IS IT TO YOU. or since u refer to yourself in the PLURAL, WHAT IS IT TO YOU ALL?
if u gave me a good reason, other than me LOOKING LIKE AN ASIAN = i cannot be ANYWHERE OTHER THAN ASIA, MAYBE i'll lay off the sarcasm.
maybe u need lessons in LOGIC 1101E also.
^^
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
i'm so missing the internet - parents refused to share my attention with a computer TT"-... and my mousie. i havent held a mouse in weeks. i think i've forgotten how it feels like already. and i think my wow pet has starved and run away from me.
ARGH.
at least i know dawn and huahua and sher still think of me cos they've been disturbing me now and then.
LOL
weee weeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
the gate has just opened... so i guess i'll have to sign off hereeeeeee
*hyperfish (without caffeine wow!)

[ 16062009 12.48 | hungryfishday* ]

15th June 09 10.48pm banff, alberta, canada

***
i currently can't do much other than wait for youtubes to load, and other light stuff cos my net is lagging the crap out of everything. i think its the rain over here.

***

watching tv here is interesting. cake boss is super. HAHAHHA... i was laffing my ass off watching it. BRIDEZILLA.
had a cold day, trekked up johnston creek to the summit. cold air + waterfall spray = wet cold VERYHUNGRY fish.
so hungry that i didnt notice that i ate up my dinner.
maybe cos i was watching tv and on my laptop while i was eating.
this is a random patchwork of one liners. somewhat like twitter.
SO lets get on to the most important part of my blog today:
i'd REALLY LOVE to go to this... ITS SO COOL. in fact, i was INTENDING TO GO. BUT i'm overseas.
its a concert - a FULL orchestra, and it will play computer game music!!! RAWR. PACMAN WORLD OF WARCRAFT.
*emo that i have to miss this - see below

***

Video Games Live

http://www.vgl-sea.com/

Don't miss Video Games Live - the biggest and most popular video game concert in the world FOR THE FIRST TIME in Singapore!

Video Games Live brings you on a journey through 30 years of gaming culture - using exclusive video footage and music arrangements from a full orchestra, synchronized lighting, live action performances and unique interactive segments.

A must-see for gamers familiar with the World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy, and great family entertainment for those looking to relive the nostalgia of Pac-Man and Donkey Kong, Video Games Live has left hundreds of thousands across the globe with an unforgettable experience.

19 June 2009, at the Singapore Indoor Stadium - For one night only!

Ticket prices: S$55*, S$70*, S$85*, S$115*

BUY HERE

[ 15062009 4.38pm | security ]

banff, Alberta, Canada - 2.38am 15june

***
i have come to the conclusion, that the feeling of security is what will eventually ruin a guy.
let me explain myself.
have you noticed, that a guy tends to get fatter, flabbier, and somewhat lazier with regards to his external appearances once he gets attached? and his state degenerates when he gets married.
the cause? a feeling of security (whether real or imagined) - MAKES A GUY CONTENTED WITH HIS CURRENT STATE AND UNABLE TO EFFECT FURTHER CHANGE / UPKEEP!

[the belated post - due to internetlessness]

wee~ at anchourage now, at a normal hotel. with normally priced internet. the internet on board was like... 100USD per 240minutes.
!!!
unfortunately, we're off to the Denali wildlife reserve tomorrow, and i doubt there's internet there. (denali? denali?! yeah yeah... i know what you twilighters are thinking... no tanya please... or irina -wait she's dead. oops, did i spoil your story-... or whoever the last one is.)
i've seen...
orca
humpback
sealions
seals
otters
puffins
seagulls
bald eagles
brown bear
various geese and ducks
...... i wanna see terns, penguins! polar bears. moose, sheep. =D
anyhow, here are some pics which i thought might interest some of you. very zi lian i know. and not very good looking, i also know. so no need to comment too much.

sea lions jostling for the prime position on the buoy. the guide calls this their 'macdonalds'
furry face!

every night, the crew fold a towel animal and leave it on our beds. this one's a bear, which i destroyed shortly after taking this pic... unintentionally, of course.

salmon creek @ ketchikan. this is where mass salmon jump upstream to spawn. along the broadwalk are various bordellos. (ie. red light district)

aurora, the bald eagle. (i think this one is called aurora...)

leetle screech owl @ ketchikan

wearing my dad's ray bans on the yukon railway / whitepass @ skagway

humpback whale @ juneau =)

*

i would, if i may, say that i'm not generally a good-tempered person. to say so might be an understatement even in my best moments. when i am sleepy however, excreta really hits the extractor.

so it is in this state, after lugging our belongings 2 miles to the Ms Veendam, and suffering from jet lag - 15 hours difference, that i found myself in our stateroom 218, lounging on a sticky faux leather sofa which would be my bed for the rest of the voyage.

a bottle of water decided to leak inside a suitcase on its way into our room, and the clothes in that bag had the privillege of being rinsed in distilled water. to top things off, this was only discovered after dinner - since my parents, unlike me, procrastinated with their unpacking - when i was lounging on said sofa in a stupor, trying to remain awake a few more hours in an attempt to quickly get used to the time difference.

so my mum was in a fluster, trying to dry out the clothes around the tiny cabin, and she chose to hang a couple of long johns on the lamp next to my sofa.

after a while, when things calmed down, i was starting to drift off again... so i picked up a book to keep me amused enough to remain at least half conscious... and turned on the lamp next to me.

about 5 minutes later, i perceived a scent of something which was becoming decidedly toasted. it took me too long to realise that the long johns on my lamp were rapidly changing in colour and temperature. -_-

fortunately for me, my mother must have sensed my impending black mood so she didnt say much about the cripsy patches on her pants.

i interpreted this incident as a sign for me to continue my body clock adjustments the next day.

~

Americans, or perhaps only those i've met onboard, are among the most willing to share their lives, thoughts and experiences... with complete strangers.

We asians are so reserved, and we share so little of ourselves even with people we profess our love to - much less our friends, of whatever degree of friendship they may be.

it is true, that to win over someone, you have to make yourself vulnerable, and in doing so, give the other person some responsibility over a piece of you.

people in general are good? perhaps. hopefully.

i obviously have my reservations about this. but it appears that many people here believe it to be true, hence they entrust each other with a little part of themselves.

but it IS true. sharing a sensitive thought with someone, brings you closer to that person. immeasurably.

the argument is then whether you are willing to take the chance of having to deal with inconvenient consequences, should the person you share your little piece with prove to be less than trustworthy.. or worthy.

much of the time, i test a person with some info thats more than general, but not intimate enough to bring about serious repercussions, should its secrecy be compromised.

^^ and it has saved my ass many-a-time.

~

DONT SAY YES JUST TO SHUT ME UP IF YOU ARE GONNA ACT DUMB LATER AND PRETEND YOU NEVER GAVE ME YOUR WORD.

~

-diversion *song thats playing now... its so cute. lol*-

even though the gods are crazy

even though the stars are blind

if you show me real love, baby

i'll you show mine

~

and thats the end of my inspiration for now.

SG 10.33am sunday 07june09

ALASKA 6.33pm Saturday 06june09