[ 31082006 2.43am just had to share this.. ]

I meant it all and every part
and every word right from the start
i’ll never let this love fall in the middle
‘cause you know you broke the hardest part
you know you broke the hardest heart
i’ll never let this love fall in the middle
through it all
..
no parachutes or safety nets here
one foot on the water to face these fears
coming out strong like i can’t be wrong
i said eh, i wont fall in the middle
..
and i’m gonna be alright, i’m gonna be alright
with you by my side
and i said i’m gonna be alright, i’m gonna be alright
with you through this fight
through it all i meant it all and every part
and every word right from the start
i’ll never let this love fall in the middle
through it all

in the middle by mat kearney (edited)

***
i found this song through http://www.pandora.com
its a site i really recommend, it matches songs that u like with similar songs from their database. and they are mostly accurate. it helps find new songs, which sound like your old favourites! love it!

[ 30082006 2.13am thoughts... ]

why bother with photographers at events... when all they do is block the view of the audience, just to share pictures of the event with them after the event is over...
how much of a memory could it represent since the event itself was blocked!

***

went for acupuncture today. its some gosu weird pain, the insertion of the needle isnt anything much, she just tapped the top and popped it into the flesh. it was the... twisting of the needle, making sure it hit a nerve that really felt... strange. the pain is the auto cry kinda feeling, so my mum handed me a tissue.

***

somehow i feel the team isnt ready for wgt... argh... we gotta train up and make it to top 16! gogo!
and damn you cloud! how could u actually put that kinda team name... *traumatised*

***

for anyone out there who is interested in antique furniture, lifestyle stuff, jewellery, retro wallpaper, fabrics, basically lifestyle stuff that caters to the niche market kinda thing, go check out my sister's store at haji lane. its called PLUCK and it and its products was featured in various magazines and newspapers. i'll pop a few pics on if i have the chance and time to. it'll be serving up tea, coffee, and island creamery ice cream too... their teh tarik, horlicks, burnt caramel, reverso flavoured ice cream are some of my favourites. in addition to other snacks i guess.

***

some last thoughts for the night...
i appreciate you. for all the trouble you go through for me.
i appreciate you. for taking over just when i need the break.
i appreciate you. for keeping my spirits up just when i need it.
i appreciate you. for being my pillar and my joy.
i appreciate you. for being the stabilising influence in my life.
i appreciate you. for always believing in me, and thinking the best of me.
i appreciate you. for sticking together thus far.
i really really appreciate you. all these yous in my life. each you was written with a different person in mind... or persons... mostly. maybe only a couple overlap...
you all rock... and i thank God for all of you.

i stand complete with you~*

[ 27082006 5.38pm the oneS that got away ]

went fishing on the bedok jetty on fri night. was supposed to be joined by various other people, who all decided to pangseh in the end. but its ok. it was a fun night !
cept that...........

i left my line tension low and was just walking around then suddenly my reel started singing. so i scuttled back and found the tension dial popped off and my line was in a mess, in addition there was a hard pull on the line. so i was like ahh ahh ahhhhh pop the dial back on straighten out the line then start reeling. by then the fish was under the jetty swimming the other way... and it was pretty strong. line snapped cos it was rubbing against the corner of the jetty...
so... sian. gotta retie my rigging and untangle the reel.... and lost a fish.

then! i got a strange drag on my line that eased and slackened... so i pulled it in, it was like pulling a plastic bag in. and my neighbouring malay man's rod jingled as i reeled. ie, i caught his line...
so... i was like... ahh sian again...
pull pull... reel... suddenly this squirting wriggling thing pop out of the water, quite heavy and quite big.
an OCTOPUS. lol! i didnt pull it over the railing and it plopped on the jetty behind the railing as the malay man moved forward... to grab my hook cos it was tangled with his line.
so the octopus, wasting no time, scuttled back into the water after overturning itself.
there goes my lunch!
see, the ps ppl came, they could have grabbed a few tentacles and yanked it in for me...

in addition, there was an abundance of spiky poisonous yellow sea slugs. irritating buggers.
but it was a good night. ^^

***

saturday woke up late, and went to church anniversary celebrations. i skulked around outside talking to tengren for quite a while... feeling anti social. later went in to join the singing and dinner. mass satay or! then we had a short message, singing, dessert and more fellowshipping. it was great, shanci was back from cambridge too. somehow, these are the ppl i grew up with, and although we arent exactly in touch with each others lives, somehow, you cant get that far... havent chatted with them like that for so long... it was just great.
in addition to some... expose stuff! =x

***

just woke from a lazy sunday nap... waiting for dinner with the family...

against all odds~*

[ 24082006 3.06am pwned by egg! ]

was sitting at the bus stop today with ice after egames session with my wgt team + weeeeleeee cyn tallboy, waiting for THE BUS when suddenly, a vehicle, i cant remember what kind, passed by pretty fast. that was followed by a loud splat sound and some wet stuff on my hand. the people around me jumped up and began exclaiming loudly...
ice and i were like sitting there damn blur, tio fiend grip like that. then look down, omgosh ? someone threw an egg at us? and it like burst on his leg and injured his finger. ROFL. then the indian dudes around us were like @#$@#$@$#%$% cos they kenna all over their arms and shirt. the impact like hit ice's leg... ROFL... then the AOE was quite gosu... ROFL.
so i guess he'll finally send his jeans for washing... what a blessing in disguise! lol...

***

i suddenly feel quite onz abt o2ing all over again... its just the levelling up thats gonna be tiresome... i'd just like to pass the next few stages and skip all the levelling... =.=
thats what happens when u pia single room too long i guess!

***

had tea yesterday and that kept me up quite late last night. and somehow i'm not sleepy enough to sleep early tonight... dunno why... commentated at wgt smu today, after a short break post capl madness. no atmosphere... and the systems died halfway through, so ant and i were commentating to an audience who couldnt see the game. lol!
i wanna take a look at my recent VODs though... wonder how much of a difference there is...
yest was pretty cool, we hung out as a bunch again, after what seemed like quite a long time, not including the ms stint of cos...... lux, jb, cloud, ant, joe... after eG again of cos.

[ 23082006 12.39am the reason... ]

i finally have the conclusion, after almost a month's long wait. since my SIA medical on the 25th of july, i have been kept waiting... for this reply. i got it in a letter of rejection today.
for those of you who may think i'm disappointed, i'm not, relieved, yes, sort of, because i was expecting it anyway... my medical condition isnt that big a deal, its not fatal or anything... but i guess its a good enough reason for them to reject me.
i'm just quite intolerant of the fact that they kept me hanging for SO LONG. they were supposed to get back to me in about 10 days or so... but they dragged it for a month. and i can tell you, the wait was hell... i was so grumpy, partly cos of the uncertainty they left me in...
so yes, my answer is here, try not to ask me about it, cos i will tend to laspe into a spate of uncontrolled rambling.
right now, i just have to decide what to do with my life.
all over again.
through this 2 month long journey, i have much to be thankful for. for my first interview ever, i really made it through smoothly. and i have a new sense of self confidence. all through it, i have kept You in sight, and always entrusted every step to You. so, in the end, i know its all part of Your plans, Lord. and i know my life is in Your hands. i trust You. and i thank You for being there for me always.
and i also have you. and you, you and you.
thanks for all these other you's in my life who are always there. <3>

there is always a reason. in You, my weakness is made perfect.

[ 20082006 8.26pm droolz. ]

me : one jasmine milk tea, no pearl, no ice
aunty : jasmine milk ah
[hands over the drink]
me to ice : how come taste like toothpaste ah...
ice : she said is jasmine wat i asked her.
me : [realisation] o... jasMINT milk tea...

lol. lesson : no order this kinda thing at untested stalls!

***

i tawned! for the first time in months! on friday, at funan. kinda help test coms in preparation for kode5 which ended today. then we took the opportunity to play some dota games. before that, went to ms, havent been to ms in ages too! eat ourselves silly.
funan was warm.
but cool equipment, razer diamondback plasma!!! to see so many blue chio things there just gave me this super high or...
and the feel of virgin feet on my steel was just... oooh*.
=x
this is so not how it sounds.
lol!

***

forming a team for wgt. its kinda halfway there already. ok actually all i need is a last. i guess i just need to remember the reason why i wanna play competitive...

[ 13092006 12.25am stunned. ]

Mi-2. team name that will be etched in the history of the singapore dota community as the first team to break the 10 month beyond godlike spree of zEnth, previously known as mVp (team 1). semi finals of wcg. 12082006. as jy put it, i'm not stunned that Mi-2 won, just stunned that zenith lost. i wonder how it would have been if i was commentating that match, kel was speaking to me after the match and he was saying that as he saw the raxes going down, he was just blank. sitting in the audience, i believe my jaw was just hanging.

however, the important match of the day went terrific. zenith pwned phillippines team 129JB totally upside down. the match the whole of dotasg was waiting for, after various posts in the forums.

Mi-2 is now the only singaporean team in finals, they will be meeting Lz, a thai team which has a really unconventional strat. theres so much pressure on Mi-2 to hold the singapore flag high.

and, in the end, i think Mi-2 is mixed. i'm sure they are super happy to have unseated zenith, but on the other hand, they are all close friends. . . i'm sure theres a feeling of paiseh-ness going on. back in irc, jb was kping what people were saying in #wcg, about comments like "why they so stupid let the medusa farm", basically unhappy that they were finding a chance to call other teams noob.
as kel and i were discussing, we still feel zenith is the better team, in that they are a thinking team. to quote him "its like what ever you throw at them, they will somehow counter it on the spot."
at the end of it all, looking at that match, and the weeks prior to the match, Mi-2 really deserved to win. but i cant shake the feeling of sadness all the same...

***
a feeling of emptiness is setting in, in the wake of wcg. at least now theres still been events for 2 days after my wcg matches. but after sunday... its life in my face again. wgt coming up, but no more kel to commentate with... faced with the necessity of earning an income, saving $ and not playing so much. no goal to work towards, and knowing that might be the last competitive match i can give so much effort to. kinda breaks my heart thinking about it. i've always been heavilly involved in competitions, be they gym, sailing, floorball... computer games...

***

as for what you all may hear about the topic "legs" please know that its all not true!!! or at least, its not the way it seems!!! lol... to be certain, please check with me for the real story! somehow this feels like the story on the skadi-qop. grr.
for real story, pls contact me! lol...

[ 08082006 1.38pm nuaaaaaa ]

late night out + rain = nua the next day.

anywayyyy wcg is on friday. arrr! i have changed my mouse feet! my three footed mouse is running soundlessly thx to daryl ho's surfx feet. lol.
and i know this may be abit late, but feng, by jay chou is some gosu. 枫 - 周杰伦.

***
sometimes it has to take something really big to happen, before people wake up and learn to take things seriously... its just a pity that it has to take a misfortune before we learn.
"if you do that to me, i'll revive you and kill u personally."

***
presently : worried.
wondering what certain friends are thinking... =( and whats going on. dynamics can change so quickly and easily. perhaps what i saw was not really there in the first place.

缓缓掉落的枫叶像思念 为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前 爱你穿越时间~*

[ 04082006 4.15am no shit! ]

time flies. like crazy. a while ago, it was half a year to wcg. now wcg's at my front door...
anyhow, no more nonsense pls. no distractions, no shit until after wcg ktb! leave everything for the 14th august!
(which coincidentally is the date joie goes back home. but then, havent met up with her... only once, and somehow the bbq thing didnt go through... also, i'm just too caught up in things i guess. )
just thinking abt the things guys will do for gals. its really amazing. if there was any reason for motivation, its love, or infatuation.
love is the disease which makes even the meanest person alive stare adoringly at another person.
eyes are truly the mirror of one's soul...

anyhow, i guess we'll all lapse into a state of uneasy truce. for now at least, until something else comes up... enough drama thankz!

no assumptions here pls, you are not me, and you dunno what i'm talking abt exactly. u might be surprised to find out that i'm actually talking about something other than what u thought.
hah. so there.

havent been back home so late in months... i'm getting old... and i need my sleep! then again, i dunno how time flew today... three games over so fast ?

k nitex.

[ 01082006 6.04pm stability- ]

just looking out the window... at the temple. its a nice peaceful day... despite the action from the construction site...
light floods the room... darkness eliminated.

why does my heart feel so calm...

i guess it just feels good to know you can answer to yourself, and that you dont need approval from anyone.

***

and in pops some noise and food... so i'm out for now. no more inspiration.
>.<
i shall just have to get my inspiration to feed me...