[ 20022004 2.45am | ignorance/cheng2 yu3 lesson ]

happy bday lish, if u happen to chance upon this, of if someone happens to see this and tell her. =)

"walking around with a broken foot thinking its a sprain."

thats the state ive been in most of my life, i realised. in many issues in my life, ive never really figured out the main cause of it all. most of all that bothers me are the effects of the cause. the cause itself, is either hidden from me, ignored cos i dont want to think about it, or just something in my subconscious.
maybe i just dont want to admit it. i know it, or i suspect it, but i never clarify it, cos i just... want to remain in ignorant bliss. take my foot for example. if my toes hadnt turned blue, i wouldnt give a damn about the pain or the swollenness or wateva. in fact, i was gonna run with ziyang on wed (ie, yest ) and play in the match this sun.

would you rather know something that will kill you, or just die happily thinking it was something else?

the escapist in me definitely prefers to die happy.
but the rational side will go to the doctor to get an xray done. cos in the end, i know that i need to know the cause, before i can solve it. as little as the pain will bother me, it can get worse. and i have to harbour the hope that things will get better. although things will be nasty in the time following the discovery, ie, itchy smelly casted leg, i have to believe that things will turn out ok.

anyone got optimism to spare?

end of the story, i like my new saying, cos it sums up alot about me : my blurness, my tolerance for pain, my wish to remain in ignorant bliss, my escapism, and that, in the end, i will still force myself to figure out what the causes are. and face it head on.
so now do you know what it means "to walk around with a broken foot thinking its a sprain"?