[ 29022004 3.16am | a.first ]

ok. todays the first time i've hopped down orchard rd in crutches. its... really an experience. its very funny to watch peoples expressions and their reactions when they see me.
well... abit on how the singaporean population has been treating this disabled gurl-
so far, since the 18th feb, only 3 people have offered me their seats on the mrt, and 2 people have offered me the glass panel to lean on. thats it. especially when you take into consideration that i travel on public transport everyday...
i think... that people on crutches are generally not seen hopping around and going out and stuff... most of them stay at home. [or in the hospital?] so i think that when people see me, they probably just think that its not so serious, hence they arent so sympathetic. hmm. either that or singaporeans really just suck.

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abit more on my jay discoveries. heh... sorry if u readers are getting sick of hearing about him...
i cant help it. haha.
he was spotted in a talent show much like american idol. but the performance [ he performed with someone who sang to his piano-playing... ] sucked, so the talent spotters didnt really bother. til they caught a glimpse of his piano score. which was terrifically impressive. so they employed him as a songwriter for powerstation, valen hsu... stuff like that. cool eh?
that has so boosted my level of respect for him.
humble beginnings... and he knows that hes not considered yandao. very interesting. and his parents divorced when he was 14.

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annnyywayy... i just plucked myself off the topic of him. cos i can go on and on... indefinitely.
big thanks to weiming, who helped me fuel this... recent interest by giving me "the one" concert vcds. *happy smile*

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i was thinking... recently... when i've been going out, i've been looking hard at parents and their little running around kids. and... you know what the freaky thing is... these parents look like they could be my friends... we are getting near the marriageable age!! soon, we're gonna get invites to weddings... after the 21st bdae celebrations flurry of course.
i had a panic attack the other day about settling down... i have no idea why. just that i was half worried that i might end up left on the shelf (too much sex and the city...) and half worried that whatever i get myself into may end in a divorce...
i'd like to just live in patterson edge alone, with super techie stuff around me for lifelong companions... sounds pretty good...

i've been thinking about this... was talking to fam the other day about "the age". he was observing that the nearer we get to marriageable age, the more parents seem to step into our relationships. which is interesting, cos this is something i've never given thought to. but its actually true... i never knew that such parents / families existed today... the you must let me veto your g/b f. like... its so subject to their approval... its... disgusting... sure, you may be making a mistake, but all you can do is to advise us, not to control... if we make a mistake, try to gently guide us out of it, somehow, dont stick your nose in and be so quick to disapprove... wealth plays a rather big part in all this... fam told me about a rich friend who had a not so well to do gf whom his parents didnt like... and they made things so difficult... that the boy ran away from home and stuff... why do things have to come to that... whats the point... you lose your child totally like that... at least if you are there to support and advise, you have your kid for keeps... once you disapprove and give an ultimatum... thats the end of your relationship with your kid... your kid will only rebel, and when he /she finds that open rebellion doesnt work, he/she will just resort to doing things behind your back...

-sigh-

and ive been giving serious thought about what i want to be / could be in the future...
heres a list of things...
-air force
-stewardess
-journalist [judging from my crap writing here... hmm. ]
-actress??? [ shaddup fam and fir and hannah ] maybe a presenter... or a newscaster... or a dj... haha...
-missionary.
-how about a director... [then i should take up ts now... ]
-writer...
i dunno.
some out of the ordinary job... something thats more adhoc than monotonous.
ok. so, after all that... what on earth am i doing in geography??
thing is... i have many interests... i have no special talent... in anything, other than picking things up fast. after the initial pick up, my learning curve just dies, either due to waning interest or lack of confidence... [i think]

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recently, when i look at people, i've been wondering... how long have they had their hairstyles for? well, this is cos i just chopped my hair off, i think. seriously, look around you. people are so unadventurous, all the safe cuts that they've found after trying things out ages ago... so much so that they are just unwilling to risk looking bad again...
i'm the type who rarely goes for cuts in salons, so i believe in letting the hairdressers decide on a new look for me whenever i go, cos i pay for their talent and creativity, not for their ability to listen to my instructions on how i want my hair cut. if i want a certain cut, i'll just do it myself... or ask various people in my house to do it for me. yup. so i'm a hairdresser's dream. or nightmare. cos i just walk in and say "do whatever you want". so far its been ok. i believe that you can grow to suit the cut. and if i'm really that unhappy about it, then i'll just diy in the toilet. [stop thinking funny...]

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you know what. the nonchalant heck everything no interest attitude that singaporeans have, [eg. towards politics, nationalism, etc] in general, could actually have some historical roots. cos as we all know, singapore is a country of immigrants. our forefathers came from china, india, britain, wherever... indonesia, malaysia... i dunno. but mostly from china right?
so. these chinese businessmen... you really think they cared about this little island? all they wanted to do was make money and go back to their niang jia... [niang jia???] always thinking of their homeland - china.
hence. they werent too concerned with situations here... all they wanted to do was make money... more and more...
doesnt that sound like alot of people we know nowadays?