[ 31122003 2.33am | some funny mood ]

i cant believe that yet another year has passed... its way too fast for me. i dont think i'm gonna be used to writing '04 instead of '03... sigh.
'03... guess i have quite a few fond memories of this year... slacking like mad after A's, starting nus, floorball... bringing in the new and cleaning out the old... the gals...

in the past few days, i have caught lotr - all 3 - again, finished waterboys... uh... eric's house, shen's bbq... basically, life's been pretty good with my parents in malaysia! haha... sleeping habits are screwed once again, every alternate day i get only 3 hrs of sleep. but i somehow manage to survive.

well. let me just leave you with an ambiguous statement. God works in our lives. all you have to do is open your eyes, your big pretty eyes - to quote matrix , and you'll see it.

[ 26122003 12.54am | post-Christmas ]

the meaning of christmas has been... commercialised. was watching some christmas wish programme thing on tv mobile. there were people singing hymns... i was wondering how many of them actually knew what they were singing about or if they were "deaf to the lyrics"...

getting fewer presents each year, a reminder that i'm growing older and older... worse still, i dont even want presents. jaded...
haha...

this christmas was not really different from any other year, church, aunts house... got high on alcohol, caffeine and ham. yeah. and chocolate ice cream. fantastic combination =)
got a couple of presents, talked alot with my cousins... played cards.
yup.

somehow, i have a great urge to watch the entire lotr trilogy all over again. either that, or read the whole book... plus the appendices... want to get lost in a fantasy world... a world where people look so good. haha... gosh. liv tyler was like... glowing... an angel... fallen out of heaven... legolas too... they really just made the elves look so great... that inner glow, the perfect skin.

went out with my cuz and her friend jessica. not bad not bad.


oh yes, merry christmas people. =)

[ 22122003 9.10am | corny... ]

my dad " whats crueller than beating eggs?"
me " huh? err... eating them?"
my dad [ triumphantly ] " digging the eyes out of potatoes!"
me " ... "


apparently he was thinking about this all day... cos my mum made him skin and dig potatoes.
thats my dad for you =)

[ 22122003 12.34am | pet.peeves ]

was out for dinner today. mum was commenting on the unwell looking people around... and she asked me what i notice when i'm out and about. i said... behaviour. bad behaviour.

just thinking back on friday. went out with my gal bunch. needed to relieve ourselves, went to the toilet and queued up. right. so this old granny comes along with 2 kids. and as a toilet door opens, before i can even take a step forward, the hurries one pink clad kid into it. preposterous! i was like... pls, what on earth is happening to singaporeans nowadays! i yelled really loudly "excuese me, can you please queue up??!"
guess what, this rude granny just ignores me. her kid looks up at me in a "oops, what should i do" kinda thing, and the granny just totally ignores me! she shoos the kid in!!! wat the !#@$%!#$%!!!!!!!
then, the toilet behind me becomes vacant. and her second kid dashes in! like... double #$R@#

dong kindly said, aiyar, maybe urgent mah... kid...

i am totally disgusted with this man. i mean, ok, if your kid is urgent, i'm sure you can politely ask to jump queue, instead of just going ahead! i'm not unreasonable, i've been a kid before, i know how it feels to clutch your nether regions, with pee oozing out any second...
anyway.
yeah.

and i think, that if kids nowadays are getting worse, the fault lies on the older generation for teaching them the WRONG thing. note, WRONG. granny, if u read this, please, the least you can do, is apologise to those 2 girls for your indecent behaviour.
i'm disappointed and delusioned.
singaporeans can really suck. no wonder the government needs all these campaigns.

[ 18122003 12.44am | lifeless people should die ]

i just finished a game of warcraft. things were going fine... then, i met anti.gosu. that stupid lamer attacks partners in 2v2. what a bitch right. sigh. his account is 0-174. obviously he goes around losing games on purpose. i wonder what kind of kick he gets out of it. most likely, hes a pimply fat slob who has just lost too many games, hence, he has given up trying to make it and spends his sad life trying to ruin other peoples games.
people like this... should be pitied. put out of their misery. i say EUTHANASIA!!

songs of the moment:
linkin park - my december
vertical horizon - everything you want
trademark - miss you finally
sophie b hawkins - as i lay me down to sleep

[ 15122003 10.49pm | below.freezing ]

"everything lies about my room, in exactly the same way you left it when you were last here. the hurriedly taken off shirt, lying motionless in the corner upon a pair of familiar black shorts; the clumsily hung garments on a hanger, still bearing the lingering scent of you. even without seeing, i know your shoes sit patiently on my shoeshelf downstairs; your fresh change heaped hastily on top of mine in my wardrobe.
all remain, expecting your return, beckoning.
the various toiletries - a toothbrush here, a can of spray there, the odd jar of hair wax - strewn across my table like a giant hand dropped it from high above, leaving them to come to rest where they chose.
'your presence still lingers here / and it wont leave me alone'
memories we share. places made significant by certain incidents. a gift proclaiming our names. withered flowers standing lonesomely in containers. the guitar sitting silently without your warm embrace...
i pause from my typing and look up, only to have my eyes rest upon the place you used to stretch out on... you on one elbow, staring adoringly over at me as i type obliviously...
all that has a beginning, has an end - life, songs, happiness, a storm. you and i. even so,

you've left a thumbprint on my heart."



i am so meant to be a depressed artist.
went back to rj to play floorball today. nonsense man! i ate way too much lunch, in too great a hurry. how to run?? so i just walked around hitting whatever came to my blade. oh well. tiring fun man.
thanks to sir who organized it, who picked my up from home, who sent us to town, who paid for our dinner, who trashed us in pool. haha...
was pretty much dead tired - slept at like...430 and had to wake at 8+ for tuition. so i zaoed off home earlier than normal, dozing on the bus.
tomorrow's gonna be another long day, with my cousin jioing me out for lotr two towers extended version - not sure if i am going though - and training in the evening.

can someone tell me why i have this strange urge to watch something bleed profusely?

POI (point of information) : almond skins are POIsonous. toxic stuff. so remove them when you eat almonds.

shen's craving for baileys has left me ransacking my sister's room in search of some leftover alcohol from her wedding... give me drink!

anyway, "off i go then!"
hope sir has a good rest.

[ 14122003 8.09pm | organisation. ]

the past couple of days have been... more or less, hell. training's back in full swing and i'm starting tuition again. -_- as well as driving. meaning, that my life is gonna be one packed mess again. seems like i thrive on activity... in actual fact, i think i's rather have more time to myself and the people around me. its not that great running up and down like a mad pig all the time.
in case i forget :

this week's timetable

15 monday - tuition 9-11 / floorball @ rjc 2-?
16 tuesday - training 5-7.30 [mel coming back]
17 wednesday - tuition 9-11
18 thursday - training 6-9 / check exam results! *eek*
19 friday - driving? / tuition 9-11
20 saturday - centro ?-11 / start bidding for modules!
21 sunday - church 10-12

next week

22 monday - tuition 9-11
23 tuesday - youth group LOTR 945@dhoby ghaut [oh no! how abt training?]
24 wednesday - church (evening) / grandma's house
25 thursday - church 10-12 (pls dont tell me theres training...)
26 friday - tuition 9-11
27 saturday - training 9-11 / Eric's house / EDEN@centro?
28 sunday - church 10-12

week after that

29 monday - shen's house

things to fit in
* meet up with ming-kor
* infernal affair 3
* water boys (sorry fam... heehee)
* catch up with my AspI
* two towers with my couz

[ 11122003 2.14am | random.thoughts ]

- here's wishing my sis and seng a happy honeymoon at phiphi island. how fun! phiphi island is that place in thailand where they filmed "the beach", you know, the leo di cap movie...

- to joel and steph, hope they really have some kick ass fun on their cruise, that they'll be safe too.

- i bleached my hair! i really hope it won't start falling off *horrors*. thanks to kiat who endured all my yelling and stressed out ness through it all. hahaha... this is an event i do NOT wish repeated.

well, thats roughly it, i gotta go sleep or i wont wake in time for training tomolo at 6PM. haha...

[ 10122003 2.45pm | pouring. ]

its really storming over here... and i just wish i was out in the middle of the sea right now. or at least, on the beach. the stinging rain, blinding... the splattering sand, the waves washing up the beach...
the chill of soaking clothes, the comparative warmth of the sea water...
hair standing up cos of the electricity and wind...

in actual fact, things are always romanticised. like, the sea will probably be orange from inland water coming out of a canal... maybe carrying a dead dog or two along with it. yup, that happens. saw one in the water before. and it was blue. looked like the starhub dog, jack russel. seaweed and leaf litter would probably be everywhere, plastic bags, drink cans, broken glass... old shoes, fishing line.
haha... maybe a crate of beer again...

hi sue! =)

[ 09122003 12.22pm | groggy- ]

ok... my mum is trying to make my sleeping and waking times more normal. so... i'm suffering from jet lag now. -_-
finally, everything is over... now its time for the new couple to actually focus on their new relationship after all the fanfare. my sister is trying to dump her bed in my room and put a larger one in hers... which is disastrous since i like to see the floor in my room. grone.

raffles marina was a really nice place... *sigh* it was perfect on a monday night, it felt elite and classy... and the view was great too... peeping through a medley of masts and wires, you can see the distant foggy outline of malaysia and other outlying islands... the brightly lit 2nd link and checkpoint on the right...
very nice. theres no much more sea over here than at, say... east coast, where your view is cut off by bintan (or is it batam?) and many many many tankers.
maybe i'll start sailing there...

alot of the enjoyment last night came from the company. it was church wedding dinner and man, it was the most cheerful one of all. there was laughter from every table throughout the meal, especially mine ;) full of jokers...
o, and they screened the wedding video! the censored version of course... thanks to adrian who edited it all =) it was wonderful...
everyone knew everyone, everyone practically grew up together. it was really one big happy family. the best thing was, it was on monday evening, and raffles marina is so far out, so most of them took leave just to be there. can you imagine? so touching!

sorry if i lapse into colloquial now and then. i tend to think that writing must cater to the readers. and i guess a touch of colloquial makes it seem a little more personal.

i dunno... what is it about the sea that draws me to it? if i were one of the new age-ies, i might say that theres a rhythm in the ocean that mirrors mine. but i'm not a new age-ie.

my whole room smells of issey miyake. i think its originating from this one grey long sleeved shirt hanging in the corner there...

[ 07122003 8.43pm | mang guo shu ]

ok, i accidentally didnt save the post. so now, i gotta type it all out again.

second wedding dinner was at the mango tree at east coast park. the ambience and company made up for the lousy management, but it didnt make up for ppl who cheat us and say one thing but do another. thats gonna be really bad for his business. the food was ok, the spices werent as pungent as they should be, probably cos they short cut and use powder and essence instead of the actual spice. good point was that they used very little, if any, msg. but lots of salt.

it was really fun cos my table was mad. had baileys on the rocks, which helped too i guess. we had a really fun time, what with shaun trying to pick up the waitresses and getting stuck in the toilet which has a really really stiff door.

in all, the place was small, but the ambience was good. the food was ok, i can find better northern indian food... the management was lousy and the service was so so. not really a place i'd recommend.

went for law bash at centro after that. i missed the pageant cos of the dinner, so i had to be content with watching the king and queen nominees dance around after that and listen to their stories of tripping over steps. well.
after a night of baileys, i wasnt that hard up for drinks either... and the music was house (i think) all night. which can get kinda... urhm... after a while.
but i like the layout of the place. lots of sofas around to lounge on. the relaxing area is really quite big...
ran into many people there... some i havent even talked to before, some i hardly talked to prior to this, some i havent seen in quite a while. that was the best thing about centro last night i guess.

oh yeah. samson's really something.

later. off to game.
after - exam bliss. =)

[ 06122003 1.51am | thats enough...enough. ]

love, actually. catch it. i guarantee your heart will break. or at least melt.

"to me, you are perfect. and my wasted heart... will love you."
"worse than the total agony of being in love?"
"Would you stay, knowing that life would be a bit worse? or would you cut and run?"

killer quotes eh? but i think it'll mean more to you after you've watched it.
if you watch the show, watch out for:
- juliet and mark
- auriela and jamie
- sarah and her designer.

loved those three stories, in that order. beautiful.
juliet and mark - the classic story of unrequited love, of being torn between your best friend and the one you love.
auriela and jamie - have the same wavelength, but have a language barrier. beautiful the way the director put it across
sarah and her designer - its just so sweet that she realises her true love is her brother... btw, the designers real interesting looking.
was a little grosed out by the kid... and joanna. its so warped. and she taller than him. but anyway, i just think its so not right.

[ 05122003 1.42am | reminiscing ]

just thinking back to my holiday in bali in july... gosh that place is heaven. the surf is fantastic, the beach is really gradual see, and the surf breaks real far out. so by the time it reaches where you are, its just lapping at your feet... like a lake. out there, about 40m out, the surf breaks. nice and hard. you can break your eardrum if you face it in the wrong direction. gorgeous.
and the weather is beauitful... sunny enough to tan, cool enough not to sweat like a pig. in the cool season that is. the water's really nice and cold too...
when the surf rolls over and is about to break... the evening sun shining through at an angle... you can see shadowy shapes of fish at the crest... its damn funny. they are all swimming in a downwards direction...

sigh... i really miss that place...

surfing was great there too... i'll never forget that man. i dont think shen will either... love the speed, the feeling of it all... the instability, fighting it... the adrenaline rush. the pain. the salt. every bit of it.

sounds like sailing eh? maybe what i need is not the sport but to be able to be out at sea... or on a beach with good surf. and great weather.

i tell you. sentosa falls short. so short. i'm gonna dream of bali for years to come i tell you.
o, did i mention. the sand is black. and as fine as flour. sensational.

---

anyway, back to the wedding nonsense.

yupz, so the choir leaves without helping to clear up. so the receptionists are late once again. this time, for the dinner itself. so, all the people there are angry and they are sitting wherever they please. most of them dont have much discretion, so they dont think about hierarchy and about proportion. meaning, they just sit all over the vip tables and they dont look to see whether theres an equal proportion of the brides side and the grooms side sitting in the central area. like... great. so i as receptionist has to panic until my hair falls off and try to clear some tables without causing a mess. doesnt help that the people around arent very... well... capable.

the restaurant didnt do that great a job either. but cant really blame them. they were supposed to serve cocktails next to the river, but, there was busking going on, so everyone just stood around the tables and talked... and were bored. so. great. the extra time was crucial.

families are supposed to be understanding. somehow, they can turn out to be the biggest pain and the largest nuisance around. excuese me for saying this in case any of my family members read this. but i'm just being honest from my own immature naive view. the worst part of my night would consist of a permanent black face cos if the wrong hierarchial seating and a yelling fella offending all the helpers. if you read this and you happen to know its you, then, too bad. i'dve loved to yell it in your face, but i refused to spoil the night for my sister.
actually, would you prefer a family where everyone just hecks and just leaves without telling the vips that they are going? or one where they are overbearing and fixated with certain issues? i cant decide which one is worse... but at least the one that bothers actually cares...

---

post wedding, we went to zouk. not all of us. but it was so mother crowded, the queue was so mother long, that we got pissed off and went in search of alternative entertainment. went to cine, but the 24hr cinema was closed. great. so why call it 24hrs then. and wound up playing pool. in clubbing clothes. excellent eh!

[ 04122003 10.33pm | somemore tests... ]


Idol


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla

got this from hannah's site. and fam's too. since everyone's doing the test, might as well join in too eh? i'm an idol... erh?
"people love you but they hate you and sometimes you hate yourself and can't figure out why..."
i wonder if all this is crap or if it actually holds some truth...

[ 04122003 3.36am | post-chaos ]

wow. its really been a day. and a night. my sister is presently mrs... how big a deal is that. other than making me feel really really much much older, its a new phase in all our lives.
anyway, my day started really early. cos they got this nice guy called alvin to do our make up for us. he's good... really pro. and the best thing is, its all self taught. well, since theres only one make up artist, and 6 gals who need make up done, and we have to be in church by 3+ 4, hence, i had to wake up at 9 am just to do my make up. -_- after that i just went back to my bed and slept. and ruined my hair. so i had to do it all over again. well, anyway, the day was spent running up and down, trying to get everything sorted and prepared so the bride wouldnt be stressed. its a day where everyone except the bride is stressed. no matter what, the day has to be perfect for her kinda thing. =)

well... we, the receptionists, were late, cos there were so many last minute things to be done at home. by the time we got to the chapel, most of the guestsm had arrived... so... well. great.
then, they started scattering flowers down the aisle... out of a cold storage plastic bag. so glam hor.
but well, i think the service went well. the weather was great, praise the Lord... and the sermon and everything was short and to the point. and cos it was a small affair, and everyone knew everyone, you know... the kinda thing where you pratically grew up with each other... so... it was really personal and stuff... like... ppl could crack jokes and the whole chapel would laugh together.

well. disaster strikes when the choir left without helping clear up...
but i'm too tired to go into that now... shall continue tomolo... or rather, when i have time tomolo post-clearing the aftermath of a home spun wedding...

[ 01122003 10.40pm | tiring. ]

ok. i've been a semi-coma all day... its not fun anymore. had a rehearsal for my sister's wedding. it was raining! haha... oh well. after it, i smelt of muffin cos i was hugging him all day. muffin's a cocker spaniel, in case that previous sentence sounded ridiculous. to clarify further, muffin's the page boy. thats why he was around all day. a very naughty and excitable page boy he is too...
the church youths came down to rehearse too, singing for them see. all had dinner at seng's house. it was real fun... felt like it was back in church camp 2002... the talking and watever. =)
LOTR on the 23rd. morning. after which, they [ note: they, not us. ] will be going carolling. something i havent participated in for years... cos i just dont have the gift of song.

had a minor panic attack today. my sister cant get married til the 23rd!
why?
because they didnt go and sign some form which you have to sign 21 days before the wedding. according to sam, its for people to object. you know... the "speak now, or forever hold your peace" part?
so... they will be rushig to ROM to try to get approval. or they will be going on their honeymoon together without being legally married. hurhur.
but well, as long as they have the approval of God and they are married in the eyes of the church, everything should be fine. which is an interesting issue to discuss. cos, my parents weren't married in a church. they only went to ROM. so, technically, they didn't marry before God. hence, they have been living in sin all these years? mum clarified saying that the ROM guy is kinda like a pastor... so... well.

what is marriage... is it the emotional bonding of 2 people? the declaration that 2 persons are allowed to live together? the sanctification of sex? the passport to a hdb flat? is marriage a spiritual union as well as a physical one and emotional one? why do people want to marry? although its nice to be ogled at once in a while by the passing male, what matters more is that there is someone who will still love you when you're old and wrinkled.
don't even get me started on what love is. if you find the answer, feel free to tell me. although i doubt you will find it in your entire life.
how about soulmates? do you feel that there is this one person out there, who will make you complete, someone who is the other half of all the things you lack, someone who will complement you, someone you can share your innermost feelings with? listen to depeche mode - somebody if you don't get my idea of a soulmate.
do you marry your soulmate, or does your partner gradually become your soulmate? not clear enough?
is a soulmate just there, for you to find, to look for... or is a soulmate cultivated?

in the first place, do you have to love your soulmate?

am i too sleepy to put my screwed up thoughts logically?? maybe.

[ 01122003 2.03pm | zzZz... ]

feeling a little socked. was woken up at the unearthly hour of 12pm. *grone* its unearthly when u just fell asleep at 6.30am. anyway, i got my picture page up. people who highly object to being on, drop me a comment or something and i'll have your face removed permanently. *cackle*
i hope its actually accessible... cos blogspot is giving me hell right now.
let me know too.

time to nap... while my parents are out... zzZz...

[ 01122003 1.21am | on.organisation ]

well. i kinda wasted my day today, due to poor organisation. is inexperience a valid excuse for bad organisation? being vague, cos i dont want to piss anyone off here. had a chance to cool down already anyway. sigh. which means i cannot elaborate any further.

can you believe it. its december already...

This is my december
This is me alone
And i
( Just wish that i didnt feel
Like there was something i missed )

my sister will change her name in 3 days... what a thought.

oh yeah, i never got down to discussing the types of artists.
i think... i'll be a depressed goth artist. something like evanescence, but more pessimistic. man i wish i had her voice...

[ 30112003 2.13am | night. of.tests ]

after 2 weeks of exams, you'dve thought i'd be sick of doing tests. but no. online tests are so much more fun than written examinations.

-----

Tammy, you're a Shark!

Your personality is actually determined by two personality sub-types - your primary, or dominant sub-type, and your secondary sub-type. You are a Shark which means you are a Seeker / Success Your primary sub-type is defined by "Seeker" characteristics and your secondary sub-type is defined by "Success" characteristics.

That means you've got a robust love of life and a killer instinct. Chances are you hate rules, and don't plan on getting old. You're flexible and friendly on top of being innovative and smart. In short, people respect you.

How do we know all this? How do we know you're extroverted and love being in the spotlight? Or that your mantra is "work hard, play hard"? How could we have divined that dull parties make you weep?

Because while you were taking the test, you answered four different types of questions — questions that measured confidence, apprehension, willingness to take risks, and your focus on experience versus appearance — the primary traits that determine your personality. Based on your responses, we determined your personality type, Shark.
-----

why dont you do it too. tell me what other animals there are...
shark... right... that means i have to keep swimming or i'll die. how fun.
http://www.emode.com/personality/

[ 29112003 10.31pm | ITz.OfFICIAL!!! ]

EXAMS ARE OVER!!! hohoho... (no, i'm not trying to be father christmas here...)

went out with my cousin today, after a rather disastrous chem paper -_-. watched duplex. *spoiler alert* do not continue reading if u dun want your movie spoilt.

anyway, dont watch the movie unless you're prepared to be totally irritated and pissed off by the stupid old hag and the people she is in cahoots with. yes. she actually is in cahoots with her son, the housing agent and the policeman. if i ever turn out to be such a conniving old woman, please, i beg you, put me down. mercy killing. i'll forgive you.
then again, i guess the actors were successful, see, one starts to empathise with the CHARACTER. the line between the CHARACTER and the ACTOR is blurred. thats so wrong. typical bourgeoise drama. haha.
ok. ts ppl, dun whack the shit out of me.

i think its full moon. soon? cos people everywhere are going mad!!! i'm so serious about that. or maybe i'm the crazy one... maybe its the after exam high...
anyway, on the mrt, theres this bunch of juveniles on a holiday high who are in the i think i'm damn cool cos i make alot of noise stage. so there they are yelling loudly about terrorists at tampines and dunno wat. everytime the mrt stops at a station, they'll yell loudly out of the mrt so the whole platform turns and looks at them in shocked disgust.
then, theres these two girls, who decide that they are so totally starving that they cant wait 5 more minutes til the mrt stops at pasir ris to eat their very smelly chicken wings. like... huh. great, no wonder the older generations say that kids are getting worse and worse. cos they see all these badly brought up freaks around.

not that older people are much better. have u realised that its the older generation thats giving us singaporeans a bad reputation? they seem to think that they are so big deal that they are allowed to crash around in very crowded buses and mrts and step on everyones toes (literally and figuratively) just so that they can chiong for their seats or to get off the vehicle. yar, and they bump around their huge plastic bags at your knees so that you get blueblacks that stay for weeks after that. they seem to think they are ENTITLED to everything just cos they are older! when was the last time you gave up your seat on the mrt and received a grateful thanks? or when you opened the door for someone and they actually bothered to look you in the eye and smile?

when i was waiting for my dad at the station, after that monster ride... i was impressed by this guy in a car. REALLY IMPRESSED. he put the faith back in me man. amongst all these idiots who park in the middle of carpark exits and park so far away from the kerb so that not even a motorcycle can pass the 2 lane road and leave the engine idling so that all the poor pedestrians get gassed to death, there is this guy, who bothered to turn down his headlights when he swung by to pick a girl up. he realised it was shining into our eyes, and he turned them down. automatically. how nice is that??? he actually BOTHERED, even though he stopped the car for a mere... wat... 30 seconds? to let the girl get on board.

its things like this... people like these... who put the faith back in me.

bumper sticker of the day : " my boss is a jewish carpenter"
[dont get it? feel free to ask =) ]

[ 28112003 10.29pm | check this out ]

i think this person is quite talented. take a look. i personally like the eyes... heh...
check out
http://puppy52.com/fanart/art/fanart/rinoa_painter.jpg
and http://puppy52.com/fanart/art/fanart/montonn_jiro.jpg
i'm particularly taken by montonn jiro...

puppy52.com
puppy52.com/fanart

really do take a look.

[ 28112003 8.50pm | lovenote.2.my.cuz ]

to my dearest cousin : hello u little pipsqueak! thanks for dropping by... drop by more often! and, would you like to go for law bash? its $12. centro. 6th december. get back to me soon ok? you owe me many many clothes too girl... lets go out soon. my exams end tomolo at 3pm! you'll be going on the 3rd right? oh damn. u cant go zouk after that... you're too young. hmm. we'll try to work something out yeah? =)

[ 27112003 11.47pm| Myers-Briggs test ]


yup... this is really me all over again. agree? disagree? let me highlight certain bits...

-------------------------------------
ISTJ
You're systematic, thorough, painstaking, and hardworking...You get the job done and complete it on time...you are serious and sincere in whatever you do..you work well within a structure...follow the hierarchy...and are particularly strong and careful in keeping track of facts and details...

Cautious...generally seeking to maintain the status quo...you are at your best getting things to the right place at the right time.... [err... does that mean i'm gonna run a goods delivery service? like... fedex?]

Serious, responsible and sensible stalwarts of society...trustworthy and honor your commitments...your word is your solemn vow. Practical and realisitic, you have great powers of concentration....hard to distract once you have embarked what you believe is the best course of action.... ..

You like to apply past experience to present decisions...you can cite accurate evidence to support your views...you're down to earth and seek to do the right thing at the appropriate time...you find it hard to understand people who start an education but don't finish it...

You are diligent and persevering in your efforts...whether it be school, or work, or love...A half-finished job is not a job well done...you probably believe in "Say what you mean and mean what you say." Private by nature, you appear calm in moments of crisis... [ yeah... the power of words... to fam : "when i say yes, i say it because i mean it" ]

You believe in work before pleasure...(gee, like posting before playing the online games on Storm Palace?)..while you don't SEEK leadership positions, you might find yourself in one...[ yeah... i think its called "saboed" ]you build a reputation for reliable, stable and consistent performance...

You like to schedule....even your LEISURE time! [ err... i keep a note on what i'm doing at watever time... i dont fix my leisure times around work. i fix leisure times around other leisure times! ]It helps to you if it has a purpose, even if that purpose is sociability...to you, love means bigtime commitment, steadiness and consistency...you behave appropriately for what the situation demands (for example, romantic in the beginning, and so on)..

When you give your word and are ready to settle down, you follow-through... you expect your partners to act in a similar manner...you may stay in a poor relationship because of a sense of duty...you might have strong but unspoken reactions under that cool facade...

Logical and analytical...quick to point out flaws in other people...when you feel scorned in a relationship, you may not let your partner know it..when it's obvious that the relationship is really over, ending it is just the practical thing to do...

Things to look out for: you could immerse yourself in details...you could become rigid in your ways and be thought of as inflexible... don't forget to compliment people and be so concerned with getting the job done....you might overlook the long-range implications of your actions today...don't get stuck in a rut...recognize your emotions, and the values they represent... others might see you as insensitive...

Also, you're skeptical of new ideas you don't see immediate and practical applications for...you may impose judgments on others...expect others to be the way YOU'd be...become more tolerant of difference between people.

---------------------------------


sigh. i dont like tests like these. make me think. now i cant complete my debate...

[ 27112003 7.05pm | depressed.artists ]

if you had to choose...what would you choose to be?
a goth babe / hunk
a mat rocker, or
a depressed artist?

was at the tv the other night, one of the really really rare times i watch tv... seem to to only do that when i'm in the middle of exams...
ok... anyway, i was at the tv when they showed the advert on piracy. the one with the little kids grumbling about what they want to do. "i've wanted to be a mat rocker all my life" "i have so much angst to express!"
sound familiar?

yup. so what would you choose?
i vote depressed artist.
actually, tough choice... depressed artist or angry gothist.

...

-ugh- i've just been dragged off to study. get back on this topic when someone's out of my house and cannot force me to study... grr.

[ 27112003 5.26am | lizardlets ]

my room has recently been infested with animals. other than the 2 fighting fish that swim around at the foot of my bed there have been a couple of rats and many lizardlets.

the lizardlets are actually very cute! i'll be slacking at my com in the middle of the night and a lizard or two will happily drop from the ceiling and land on me or somewhere in the vicinity.
see!


i never knew lizardlets were nocturnal til i started staying up all night. interesting no?

[ 27112003 6.31am | yay ]

ok. my day's mischief is up! managed to get his pic on. haha... pretty?
oh yes... i'm particularly intrigued by this pair of eyes

[ 27112003 5.06am | prettee~* ]

haha... such an act cute title.

eh eh... hideaki is so prettee... help. tell me he isnt.
stole a pic using my phone at this jap ppl shop in heeren. the lady scolded me, but it was worth it! [ok, i dunno why i cant post the pic direct... so u all gotta settle for the link.]


xiaxue
found this blog around. think it would be interesting to keep my eye on it.


right. i have just realised that it is morning cos kiat just smsed me from camp.
"morning... i hope you are sleeping already..."
"huh? its morning?"

my present time table is currently screwed up. i think i'm living at the wrong end of the world.
if there is no school / exams / whatever crap : wake up at 12pm. lunch. sleep til dinner. dinner. study / waste my time online. sleep at 6am. or 7.
if there is school... -_- : wake at 7am. exam watever. back home after lunch. sleep til 12am. dinner. sleep at 6am.

a week to my sister's wedding! i'm starting to think about it a little more... gosh. why wait til a week b4 to think about it... last minute instincts lah. cant be helped. honed by exams.

[ 27112003 2.31am | -snip- ]


And before that, I was getting over my first love. It was a difficult experience. I didn't want to be emotionally involved with anyone ever again, which explains my wild streak. That type of pain is much harder to recover from compared to a broken arm or headache. I wanted men to be a commodity to me instead and disposable, and I wanted to be free of any strings. I wanted to emerge out of relationships unscathed and ready to move on. I didn't want to wear my heart on my sleeve any longer, for fear it would get stomped on again.


I don't know him well enough to trust that I'm not just another girl to him. However, it's hard to keep my guard up around someone I find so arresting...

found that interesting? want to see more? go to Uberture. an online mag my friends part of.


anyway. after that advertisement...
i... cut my hair! haha... went mad todae after ts paper. was walking around town with fir when we both suddenly decided to cut our hair at The Scene. i think i look a little strange now... guess i need some time to figure out how to wear it.

one more paper... sigh. on the last day possible. saturday.

what happened to my music?

[ 25112003 4.36am | A.Mth.2.Xmas ]

my exams will be over in 4 days... come on... you can do it!

anyway, spent my last few hours fooling around with the layout of my site... got a messageboard! thanks to shao's site. heh... i think it looks quite interesting... but it kinda does away with the need for my buzzes things...

hmm.

*contemplates*

why on earth am i bothering with this when i have an exam tomolo?
slap me again pls!

[ 25112003 3.46am | Hari.Raya! ]

to the malays! =) have fun!

i kinda got my archives up, somehow, they arent really linked to the particular date. so, for now at least, you will just be redirected to the main archive page. well. best i can do for now, i think i accidentally screwed up the script while trying to do funny things with my template.

daniel > hey, you dan? the fella i re-met at expo while i was studying for my A's ? if u are, then yeah, i remember u! how'd u manage to find my blog btw?

lydia > is that your real name? cos i'm not sure if i remember a lydia in jc! *paiseh* gonna need more intro from you!

[ 25112003 3.16am | disastrous ]

last paper was on friday. friday, came back, slept. saturday and sunday were spent ill. so sleep all day. next paper, monday. how to do? never study. why? spent the weekend sleeping. so how? walk out early lor! hahaha... give me a slap please!

anyway, just added some music! whee... let me know, if ure feeling kind, if u can hear it. =)
write more laytuh-

[ 22112003 6.43pm | Point.Of.Information ]

ezlink cards can still be used after going through a full wash cycle in the washing machine.

interesting no?

[ 20112003 11.14pm | mAdNeSs!!! ]

think i'm gonna go nuts soon. i'm really not made for studying! not cut out to be an academic. i cant believe it. i still have a week to go of exams k. a WEEK. beat that. its as bad as a's. drag for so long!!! grrr.
eek. having that pain in my chest that i always get during exam time.

[ 20112003 8.37pm | remind me!! ]

to fix my links
add friends links
to study for my exams. damn.

shao

[ 15112003 12.43am | questions? ]

life never serves you what you expect her to. i made life a female cos females are more unpredictable. what with pms and menopause and watever. stereotype perhaps, but well. serves my purpose.
for example, my ps essay. i didnt work at it, i believe alot of the ppl who got b's worked much harder at their essay then i did at mine. yes, sorry, but i'm still hung up over that.
choices, decisions. how would you know that you made the right one. is there even a right choice to make? what is right? what may seem right to you... may seem wrong to someone else!
there are somethings about this life... that we will never be clear about... not until we meet out Maker face to face i guess...
sometimes, i just wish i could see what my future will be like... i'm of the school that believes my future has all been planned out see... then i'll know which path to take... which decisions to make... what to do...
even so... how would we know which means lead to the end... maybe there are more paths to the final destination...

screwed up mind. i feel like matrix.
bloddy second guessing.
(bloddy??? haha...)

[ 13112003 7.43pm | alone. ]

okay

She sat me down and took me by the hand
She said I’ll try to make this painless if I can
She is sorry and as she began to cry
Couldn’t look me in the eye
I said
baby, let me just save you the time

I can see where this is going
Tears will fall and hearts will break
Love’s a game we all must play
So dry your eyes and be on your way
As for me…
I’ll be ok.

Well I thought we were the perfect match
It’s so hard to say that now without a laugh
There was never, ever such a thing
Not as far as I can see
Now that all of love’s such misery

You can see where this is going
Tears will fall and hearts will break
Love’s a game we all must play
So dry your eyes and be on your way
As for me,
I’ll be ok

I can see where this is going
Tears will fall and hearts will break
Love’s a chance we all must take
So dry your eyes and be on your way
As for me,
I’ll be ok.



Got my friend to pick up my political science essay from school. Thanks fir! Told me I got an A for it! (he better not be bluffing me… or I’ll poke his eyes out…) unbelievable… I really expected to get some shit borderline mark cos, in the first place, I didn’t understand a thing about public or private space… and my lecturer (shall refrain from ruining his reputation by putting his name up here) really can’t lecture for nuts. Thank goodness I have a good tutor… or I’ll just die. Email also never reply. Too much.


Theatre studies practical exam (12.11.03)
It was really quite fun preparing for it… however, think we didn’t research enough into the background of the play. That was our downfall…
Really pei(4) fu(2) the examiners though… they really know their stuff and they really can act… grone. Don’t ask why I know.
I think acting is something I could like very much… however, I refuse to direct! Unless I write the script myself. The interpretation is just too heavy a burden. And I’m way too inexperienced.
Fam : feeling sia!!


Asides
I think I shall take muffin out for a walk tonight… feel like it… feel like getting out of the house again… on the other hand… I’m feeling sleepy… which is really strange considering I’ve slept for 11hours in the last 24hours.
Blogger is down, so I shall have to wait til the sites back up before I can publish this… how irritating.
Kenn : u dun understand man… this really sucks… if I chill out anymore I better be prepared to chill for the rest of my life. I can’t flunk my sem!!!

think theres alot about school work and stuff... academic pursuits have been on my mind too much. apologies!

[ 13112003 1.42am | soulmate~* ]


"you were supposed to be with me - for so long! you're part of me, the part i've always vaguely missed. you were supposed to be around, helping out, picking me up when i fell down. watching my back, listening to my stories. understanding things that i wouldn't want to tell other people. loving me when i'm stupid. giving me something to take care of and be good to, the way the goddess meant women to do."

[ 12112003 1.29am | knn ]

so busy so busy...

every day, sitting in the sun... baking myself...
in preparation for a 20minute exam.

freezing in the libraries while studying for essays and mcq's.

stoning on the train on 1hr journies.

cannot cannot.

have to yell out some expletives soon.

will probably get struck by lightning.

[ 09112003 3.06pm | no.one.can.see.past.the.choice.they.make ]

as you can see, i'm still rather obsessed with quotes from the matrix.

presently wondering what modules to take next semester... whether to take 3 geog modules... sigh. then, i suddenly remember that i might just fail this sem. then i won't need to worry about next sems modules...

made a bad choice of modules this sem... nothing interests me seriously except the geog exposure. but practically everything they are going through now has been taught in jc. ts is really fun too, but way to much theory... grose. o, the changing landscapes module aint too bad either... cos its geog based i guess... but ps and chem can really just go and jump into my tau huay.

shit shit... exams are in a weeks time. haha... big joke... i'm still adjusting to being in uni... and whee. my exams are here already... $%!#$

[ 07112003 1.17am | woah. ]

check out this site. its got a much much much much better argument for the theme of religion in matrix then i have tried to convey...

http://webpages.charter.net/btakle/matrix_reloaded.html

[ 07112003 12.34am | Not impossible. Inevitable. ]

as with my kill bill entry, those of you who havent watched The Matrix Revolutions, please bugger off if you dont want me to spoil your show.

basically, i felt that the theme didnt run as deep in this one as it did in the other two. this one was more of an action movie with the regular romance theme. however, there are issues that you can pick up from it.
to me, the religion theme ran quite strong in this one... there was a lift button that read "hell". (for those who;ve watched, its the lift which they take to go see the Frenchman) hell... i guess it symbolises the real world, especially when "viewed" through Neo's second sight. (ie when he was blinded) it was all firey and stuff... zion would thus be the realm of the "enlightened", the people who have come to know the truth. the machine world is, i guess, heaven.
then, the source, the large ugly machine thing, it said "it is done" somehow thats very... crucifixion kinda thing... especially after neo sacrificed himself to bring peace between the machine world and zion. (the mediator for you?) even the name zion is Blibical.
back to matrix 1, the red pill and the blue pill... isnt the red pill like the forbidden fruit? it offered knowledge... knowledge beyond what a normal human was supposed to know...
free will. the oracle advocated free will.

do you believe that shows are left for you to fill in the gaps yourself? that the cinematic text is troue? (nope, thats not a spelling error) that you are free to interpret it however you want, hence everyone will walk out of the cinema with different interpretations of the same thing?
i think i'm having too much theatre studies...

and somehow the idea of a deus ex machina keeps coming into my mind... not sure where it can be applied... to neo perhaps?

[ 06112003 2.14am | ]

silly ruth. shall not explain further.

just finished up the last part of my project essay. so now all we have to do tomorrow is cut words off and to do a conclusion.
this is gonna be a busy week... i dont know how i'm gonna find the time to study... everyone says first year is the time to pull your CAP real high... but i dont think so... its gonna pull be down to australia man... doesnt help that i'm doing all kinds of subjects that i'm not interested in, but forced to do.
got strange anonymous phone calls todae. called back, only to find out that they were from people looking for shen. shen, has not been going for tutorials and everyones getting worried cos they dont know what happened to her. she doesnt pick up phone calls or answer smses. so what do they do? they call me. gr8. people get paid to do what i do for free k! haha...

[ 05112003 12.44am | kill.bill ]

*warning* do not read if u havent watched the movie. i'll spoil it for you.

excellent show, in my opinion. did really good spoofs of other movies like matrix and bruce lee things. it was like happy tree friends on the big screen! excellent for a few laughs, a few screams and tons of drooling over lucy liu and her female bodyguard, gogo yubari. (whom i'm still trying to figure out... cant decide if shes actually not bad, or if its certain angles that flatter her... kinda looks like a man...)
the blood was really hilarious man... simply tons of it spurting out like shower heads. and i really think the director meant it to spurt out that way. to make it ridiculous... to subvert the goriness (is there such a word?) and make it funny. if it were on stage, i'd call it brecht.
funniest snippet : uma thurman spanking the young boy with the flat of her blade
"say"-est moment : lucy liu whacking the head off mr tanako (??) at the meeting. or her throwing that dart thing through the wall... almost any scene of her in action... except when she died. the way she died sucked. -_-

the ending was one of those that made you feel like you wasted your money watching the whole thing. but it'll make you watch the sequel! damn irritating type...

btw, i really dont think the show deserved its RA rating. the blood was not even realistic. you have to see it to understand. and it was purposely meant to be that way. there were plenty of bad words, sure, but there were no sex scenes. none. not even of anyone kissing. ok, fine. the only sex scene was when young o-ren-ishi (thats her name rite) was sitting astride a paedophilically - inclined father/mother killer who was clad in underwear. (how on earth do you spell that word... i've suddenly become dyslexic) and the focus was so not his tendencies, it was on o-ren-ishi's bloodlust. revenge lust. whatever you want to call it.




one of my "good days" when i'm really tired out. so tired i may just konk off infront of the computer without brushing my teeth. ok. fine. exaggerating. one of the days when i'm actually looking forward to lying on my cool covers... about 5 hours of ts prac rehearsals... talking, going out... movie. good day. =)

[ 03112003 10.59pm | *wHiNe* ]

busy day. been studying for the last couple of days. yes. i do study. now and then when the need arises. had 2 tests. at least i passed one of them...
just been summoned to lend my name for ivp sailing. wonder if i can commit to both floorball and sailing? sounds tough. will love sailing again though... wind and salt drying out my eyes... stinging rain or baking sun... falling asleep in the cockpit while waiting for races to start, getting bread soggy and salty throwing it from boat to boat... dripping rain soaking my tell tales. tell tails? mud at the top of my mast from turtle-ling... the spray on a fast reach the pain on a closehaul, the tension and blue-blacks on an unstable run... getting cleated and boomed. dagger board bruises... sand abrasions, peeling sunburns... awful tanlines...

times i miss.
memories i love.
pain i enjoyed.

[ 01112003 11.48pm | deep-pressure ]

sister's dog died. max. that greedy thing ate itself to death. literally.
this dog was sent to live at her bf's house (sorry... finace) cos they have 3 dogs and my mum didnt want to house so many. so we kept 2 here and sent max over. his parents spoil their animals... give him anything and eveything to eat. and max doesnt seem to know his limits. he steals whatever food he can get his paws on. so, last night, he ate 1kg, seriously, 1 kilogram, of dried sweet potatoes. he bloated up so much but didnt appear to be in discomfort. so they just let him be. this morning, he was dead. just like that. apparently he was breathing shallowly, but i think he was roughly gone when they found him. his mum said that "max [was] waiting to see [my sister] then he'll let go"

i liked max alot... much better than that silly yap of a chihuahua (raisin) or muffin. although i am quite fond of muffin. but i think i'm too immune to pets dying. kinda... too used to it. maybe ii'm just apathetic. if i feel sad, its cos i feel bad for my sister and cos the way max died was really... dumb.

so ppl, dont eat 1 kg of dried sweet potatoes k. its bad for life.
o, max was a golden retriever. he is presently 2 feet under my mango tree at the end of my garden...
beautiful dog. posed for quite a few photo shoots...
guess i like big dogs. small dogs have this really irritating high pitched thing about them... and they always get under your feet and then yelp the house down making everyone rush sympathetically to its rescue. like my ex-neighbour's pomenarian. it was so DUMB. they opened their auto-gate one day and it happilly charged out and banged into a car that was passing by. as it, it banged into the side of the car, not got run over by the car. hahaha...

[ 01112003 12.22am | scrut-up ]

ever has that inexplicable urge to sit on your roof and yell so loudly that the whole neighbourhood wakes up?
i'm feeling that now... i'm feeling it so bad.

[ 31102003 11.25pm | woes. ]

wow. i have the kind of face that makes people think i'm really really short. kiat thought (before he knew me) that i was shorter than eva, about ruth's and dong's height. thanks man! thats like... 150+ or less. thats mini. (sorry gals... hehheh...)

my aunty is ASC 4. you know... the active senior citizen nominee thing. vote for her!! sms "ASC 4" to 93678728 NOW!! voting is closing soon. she the stroke association chairperson. =)

i just spent a large bomb today... quite heart pain. oh well... i havent been spending, figured i better pamper myself before i like... get cancer and die or something.

my practical test date is on april fools day. gosh. thanks man. somehow the date doesnt feel right...

let me share the halloween poo website with all u ppl! its so damn funny. and so damn cute! and it really sounds like me!

tomorrow feels like a running day... but my shoes are breaking down... nvm. i shall listen to myself and just run anyway.
6k!

[ 31102003 12.37am | listen- ]

dont wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more
u keep insisting when u know our love is out the door
dont wanna try dont wanna try cuz all we do is fight and say the things
i hurt u bad to when we both begin to cry
dont wanna try dont wanna try i bout just had enough its been a rough road
baby just let it go
dont wanna try dont wanna try dont wanna try no more
tell me whats the use of holdin on when all we do is hurt our love


frankie j. dont wanna try.
check it out.
i normally hate the r&b thing... if thats what this genre is. but his liquid voice just makes every word roll over each other...
not to mention its one of those gorgeous heart-breaking songs...

[ 30102003 12.34pm | GROWL ]

i decide to skip lecture today so i can sleep in and study in the afternoon and then... ROAR!!! my DAD wakes me up at 8am thinking i have tuition!!! i was so disoriented that i just woke up and was about to get out of bed (i only get out of bed when i'm totally awake) when i thought about it and realised i had nothing on that early!!! he mistook my "i have tuition at NIGHT" for "i have tuition at NINE" help help help... i'm gonna spend the day sleeping...

HORRORS!!! i'm so upset yet amused now... have you ever seen the direct translation of jian dan ai? i'm gonna die laughing any minute now... it sounds so totally warped when put into english... chinese somehow has a way of sounding good... of managing to express things in a special way that no translation can do justice to. it'll lose the flavour... guess most languages are like that eh...


Lyrics: Jian Dan Ai :: English Translation
Simple Love

Unable to say why

I have become very initiative
If I have fallen in love with one person
Anything is worth going to do
I want to loudly announce
I am reluctant to part with you
Even the next-door neighbour can guess my present feeling
The riverside wind
Is blowing my hair to waft
Holding your hand
An unknown feeling
I want to take you back to my maternal grandmother's house
Looking at the sunset together
Straight until we are sleeping
I want to be holding your hand like this and not let go
Can love be pure forever without sorrow?
I
Want to take you to ride bicycles
I
Want to watch baseball with you
Want to be like this without worries
Singing songs
Constantly walking
I want to be holding your hand like this and not let go
Can love be simple without hurt?
You
Are leaning on my shoulder
You
Are sleeping at the pit of my stomach ( ???!!! )
Like this kind of life
I love you
You love me
Want
Simple!
Love~~~~~~~~~~
Want
Simple!
Love~~~~~~~~~~


Translation/pinyin/lyrics by Ho<阿豪>.

check out the original here.

[ 30102003 12.37am | thoughtfull. ]

eventful night. but i don't have to go into the details.
PIE was ok, not as brecht as i expected it to be. the acting was ok, but the way the actors spoke!! drove me NUTZ!!!
GOSH! their pronounciation was really so... help me... the only guy who sounded ok was an ang-moh guy. at least he can pronounce his words. the girls were ok. and its NOT about the accent. you can speak with singaporean intonation, but with proper diction. so dont ever tell me its the accent.
other than that, the play offered quite a good opportunity to watch the brechtian style in action... as well as allowing alot of interpretation. enjoyable.
especially loved it when they yelled out a national day song. such ANGER!! hahaha...

"SINGAPURA, O SINGAPURA,
SUNNY ISLAND SET IN THE SEA
SINGAPURA, O SINGAPURA,
PRETTY FLOWERS BLOOM FOR YOU AND ME!!!!!!!!!!"

[ 29102003 1.36pm | discovery? not. ]

this is so totally not me. ok, maybe it represents a facet of me. but perhaps not the strongest aspect of my personality. and not all of it is applicable.

# 2 - THE PEACEMAKER

2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of
others' needs and moods and
often think of others before themselves.
Naturally analytical and very
intuitive they don't like to be alone.
Friendship
and companionship is very
important and can lead them to be successful in
life, but on the other hand
they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable
relationship.

Being naturally shy they should learn to boost
their self-esteem and
express themselves freely and seize the moment
and not put things
off..............

Famous 2's: President Bill Clinton, Madonna,
Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas
Edison, and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

[ 29102003 2.02am | uploaded <-- ]

mel thng
qing and i
banana and a banana
unglam shen *hehheh*


*disclaimer : i shall not be held responsible for how you should look in the photos on my website. all laughter and amusement gained by others is solely at their own risk. this website is merely a means by which the truth may be proliferated.

should any of these links be unaccessible pls contact me.

[ 29102003 1.41am | neu.toi ]

i have presently gotten myself a new amusement providing device. nokia software!! now i can put all my photos that i took with my 7250i into my com and fool around with them. this is probably gonna cost me a few a's in the finals though... *grone*
anyway, all you people whom i've caught in various unglam moments, watch out!! this is time when you better start getting plastic surgery so no one will recognise you. haha...

tomorrow (or rather today) promises to be fun. gonna go to spotlight to hunt for theatre studies prac assessment materials and then gonna watch PIE. it's a brechtian style play, which, i hope is gonna be enlightening.
i wonder why people have the misconception that a day ends / begins at midnight. it upsets me. i think when a day begins is a subjective matter. when i fall asleep, its the end of a day. when i awake, its tomorrow. no particular time should be allocated to the changing of a day. so, in essence, my day ends at around 3am and begins around 7am. tomorrow is thus when i wake up. today is therefore the time before i sleep.
great?
great. =)

[ 27102003 11.45am | argh. ]

just saw the samsung phone add on mobile tv bus 96... argh... i think its samsung... i was so tempted to stay on and watch... but... had to get off at central forum... -_- point is, they used qing tian as their song for the ad... haha... damn angry... they must play it just as i was getting off the bus. grr.
in the arts canteen slacking before my tutorial starts... wonders of wireless LAN. skipped a lecture today. so sue me.

[ 27102003 3.16am | post-game.pre-sleep ]

its really really not my fault that i'm still awake now... i slept for 5 hrs in the afternoon -_- ok fine. so maybe it is my fault.
just had a few good games of wc with zy. not bad not bad... at least we can still win sometimes.
for those who are not noticing, i have enlarged my font size. better? feedback. or i'll change it back to 6pt cos it looks rather large to me now.


sometimes, its really strange the way things turn out. you could work really hard at something, yet see no fruits of your labour. nothing you do seems to help...
if you just let it be, maybe it'll work out right in the end... to just go with the flow and relinquish responsibility. not quite giving up... just, not resisting.
then again, do you compromise yourself when you do that? can one really answer to oneself after its over and done with? would you ask if there was something more you could have done?
or whether if anything you did or didnt do would affect the outcome at all...
i'm starting to sound abit like the oracle. matrix. THE matrix. not those sequels... the kitchen scene... when neo broke the vase. gosh... how many times have i watched that show...

"na de qi, fang de xia" (can pick up, can put down - direct translation) meaning, able to let go. something my chinese teacher back in rg commended me for being able to do. actually, i don't think i'm like that at all... if i pick something up, i won't let it go without kicking up a huge storm. like... expect to see blood man... i'd fight to my last breath if i wanted to keep it. fight, mind you. not thrown tantrum. and not just talking about physical, tangible things of course... (ee... i sound like a big baby)
keyword : want
but sometimes, fighting aint enough. there are so many other factors on top of your personal wants and so many stronger powers than your own will-power...

for those curious ones, i don't really have anything specific in mind... just a thought i've been toying with.

conclusion : "still what could've been is better than what could never be at all" - tiffany "could've been"


song of the moment : ainslie henderson - keep me a secret

i'm trying to keep you out
and i'm trying to keep me in...
keep me a secret
keep me outta your arms
keep my kisses off your lipstick
stop me swallowing your charms
keep yourself a secret
lock up all your doors
i'll keep you out of my dreams
just you keep... me... out... of... yours.


my winamp seems to be playing gorgeous songs all of a sudden... like totally man... *insert reese witherspoon look here*
wish i could just quote my favourite lines from every song i hear here. audio-excitement.

guess its almost time for me to sign off and read political science notes til i konk off... which will take a very long time... damn it. insomnia again.

[ 26102003 10.03pm | Let me share something with you people... ]


晴天Qing tian
Composer: Jay Chou (周杰倫) Lyricist: Jay Chou (周杰倫)

故事的小黃花
gu shi de xiao huang hua
從出生那年就飄著
cong chu sheng na nian jiu piao zhe
童年的盪鞦韆
tong nian de dang qiu qian
隨記憶一直晃到現在
sui ji yi yi zhi huang dao xian zai


ㄖㄨㄟ　ㄙㄡ　ㄙㄡ　ㄒ一　ㄉㄡ　ㄒ一
ruay sou sou si dou si
ㄌㄚ　ㄙㄡ　ㄌㄚ　ㄒ一　ㄒ一　ㄒ一　ㄒ一　ㄌㄚ　ㄒ一　ㄌㄚ　ㄙㄡ
la sou la si si si si la si la sou


吹著前奏望著天空我想起花瓣試著掉落
chui zhe qian zou wang zhe tian kong wo xiang qi hua ban shi zhe diao luo
為妳翹課的那一天
wei ni qiao ke de na yi tian
花落的那一天
hua luo de na yi tian
教室的那一間
jiao shi de na yi jian
我怎麼看不見
wo zen me kan bu jian
消失的下雨天
xiao shi de xia yu tian
我好想再淋一遍
wo hao xiang zai lin yi bian
沒想到失去的勇氣我還留著
mei xiang dao shi qu de yong qi wo hai liu zhe
好想再問一遍
hao xiang zai wen yi bian
妳會等待還是離開
ni hui deng dai hai shi li kai


颳風這天
gua feng zhe tian
我試過握著妳手
wo shi guo wo zhe ni shou
但偏偏
dan pian pian
雨漸漸
yu jian jian
大到我看妳不見
da dao wo kan ni bu jian
還要多久
hai yao duo jiu
我才能在妳身邊
wo cai neng zai ni shen bian
等待放晴的那天
deng dai fang qing de na tian
也許我會比較好一點
ye xu wo hui bi jiao hao yi dian


從前從前
cong qian cong qian
有個人愛妳很久
you ge ren ai ni hen jiu
但偏偏
dan pian pian
風漸漸
feng jian jian
把距離吹得好遠
ba ju li chui de hao yuan
好不容易
hao bu rong yi
又能再多愛一天
you neng zai duo ai yi tian
但故事的最後妳好像還是說了拜拜
dan gu shi de zui hou ni hao xiang hai shi shuo liao bai bai

[26102003 12.44am | dark thoughts... ]

wanted to include this section in the other entry... but decided it'd do better as a separate one.

as i was hopping around stepping on people's toes... half of me was wondering what's up with this world. i mean, what kind of entertainment is clubbing really supposed to be? you poison yourself on alcohol, then you hop around groping or being groped. (none of that happened to me, thank goodness, but kenneth got his ass squeezed by some guy... haha) the music is so freaking loud that the bass vibrates in your trachea so that you have no idea whether to cough or just continue breathing.
secondhand ciggie smoke will kill you if the alcohol doesn't (not a very good long term business plan on the part of the bar owners...) and the darkness with intermittent strobe lights keeps bleaching your visual purple.

like... huh?

i'd rather go fishing.

am i a contradiction?

[ 26102003 12.07am | ..a.f.t.e.r.m.a.t.h.. ]

just got home. Haven't been home since my last entry.

despite the negative vibes I was getting about yesterday... The night turned out fine. I mean, after shen's mum got so pissed at her and after a rough drive there (and I really mean rough...), I thought some great calamity was gonna happen at zouk.
the matter starts from this: Mel flew back from UK for 3 days on a $2000 ticket. Of course shen and I wanna see her... we miss this crazy gal. But, we have school at 9am the next day -_- and shen's mum hates her clubbing. My parents were fine... was staying over at shen's cos didn't want to wake up so super early the next day for school.
so, as every good story should have, is the crux of the matter, the conflict. To club or not to club. To piss mum off or not to piss mum off. I don't know how the matter was decided... I was drying my hair. (yucks... how bimbo.) but we went.
it was one heck of a night man. phuture was packed, so was zouk. There was live singing at zouk which we didn't go for because of the lack of space. spotted some reeeal hot chicks man... don't believe me? New Paper Face 2003 not hot? Rebecca Tan hot enough for you? how about Fiona Xie?
o... And my theatre studies practical tutor was there... he's none other than Mr Gerald Chew, more commonly known as the moulmein high principal.
anyway, here comes the spolier... just when i took my fifth sip of some alcoholic concoction and was getting really really high... (i get super high on super little) they decided to leave. -_- and then, they spent half an hour standing outside zouk talking. grrr.
o, anyway, had a good eyeful on beautiful cars that frequent this nightspot with their owners. ferrari, peugeot, skyline... totally droolable man.
so that was about 2.50am. If I'm not wrong... went for supper, drive here drive there... got back to shen's at 5+. by then, she was about to squash me. as in, really squash. i was bouncing around the car for 2 hours til we reached her house. then i started crashing...

but it was quite a fun night... just... bad timing. no more of this til after exams. no problem for me though... last time i clubbed was... zouk mambo night before school even started. *i'm a good gal*

oh yes, to the ppl who have been complaining about my font, change your browser size!! haha... cos it shows up fine on my screen! -_- but seriously, if I get too many complaints about it... I guess I am obliged to do something.

[24102003 1.14pm | pseudo abstract. ]

ever dream of things so surreal yet so real that when you awake you are, simply put, utterly disoriented?
well. last night i slept like a brick wall. i don't even think i changed position. i like things like that... rather than tossing around like dying ikan bilis.

"27. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK?
any day that tires me out so immensely that i am
forced to collapse on my duvet and doze
immediately, instead of sitting up thinking with
my eyes wide open.
ie, early school days with late
training and finished off with early morning computer activities."

-taken off friendster's bulletin board 50 questions.

kenn : you should try that too, much better than insomnia.


indian festival of lights today...
shine some light in my dark life...

[ 24102003 12.34am | -update- ]

for those not in the know:

- i have passed my advanced theory! my practical test date should be sometime around the 15th March 2004. since my test date is like... in 5 mths time, i better practice alot and make sure i pass first time!
- i also passed my chemistry module mid term. -grone- by the skin of my teeth. at least i think i did. he went through the answers today in lecture, quite fast, so i'm not sure if i got the right answers.
- i went for a check-up. you know... the NKF one... haha... should i post my stats? i have high cholesterol. but my fat percentage is only 16.9%. which i'm quite happy with. i mean... come on... kiat's is 17.9%... and he's in army! and it dropped from J2... it was 19+% then...


ok... after all that, here's what happened in my messy life today... had 3 project group meetings todae. -_-'
went to town to play pool in between meetings. haha... yes, i had that much time. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? as we were walking to the pool parlour, we encountered a FERRARI 360 MODENA which was being given away FREE by DBS!! gosh... i nearly died looking at it... anyway, then, as we finally managed to tear ourselves away from drooling all over it, a FERRARI CONVERTIBLE zoomed by down orchard road right next to us!!! AHHHHH. these people have too much money.

-ok... relax. breathe.-

at least my week of horrible deadlines is finally over though... today marked the last deadline of the week.
went to change up in the library toilet for training while the rest of my group photostated things. and i managed to drop my bag. urgh man. with my laptop, mouse, adaptor and phone in it. -grone- good thing it didnt drop on my laptop... it fell on the front, so my files and sigg bottle and mouse and adaptor kinda cushioned it. plus, it fell on my foot. -_-"
after the last project, i went off to collect my experiment which i left at the coffee club express. for my chemistry module. -_-"' thanks to the man there man... he taped it up properly for me cos it kept flying off the wall.
gosh... did i mention, i didnt bring certain things required for training! so it made life a little more difficult for me...
training was not bad. no drills. =) mostly games... think i need to sleep earlier cos the lack of sleep was killing me on court man. then, i went for supper with some of my teammates, over which we discussed controversial issues. after which shen drove me to the mrt in a disturbed mood. (not because of the conversation though...) o, and we encountered this huge, extremely long truck / trailer thing. it was carrying some mother-sized scaffolding or something. and it was at least 3 times the length of a normal truck. it had a police convoy and all that too. quite cool. but shen was so disturbed by it that she forgot about dropping me off at dover. haha...

right. mindless chatter. sorry 'bout that. =)

i've got 2 extra guys in the house for the next couple of days. they're from malaysia and they are attending a conference in Singapore. so we are housing them. PFS. heard of it? or PFI. if you haven't and desperately want to know, drop me a msg by clicking the "buzz here" button below.

[ 23102003 2.22am | nonsenses. ]

got my counter up, although the "presently online people" still doesn't show. big thanks to Dan for his help today =)
sourced out a guestbook too. looks pretty nonsense, but what the hey... at least leaving msgs is now possible right?
just got complained at by mr kenn cos i haven't left anything much here. grr. hey! u got your site designed by a friend, i'm trying to set it up myself you know! abstract entries can take a backseat for a while...

sidenote : wonder how my birds are... haven't had time to feed or water them for ages...

[22102003 2.57pm | accident post again... ]

trying to get things posted up here again when i should be slogging over my beeping essay. damn.

[ 22102003 2.24am | oopz~ ]

oops... think i added an empty post while trying to sort my page out... paiseh!

[ 22102003 11.58pm | nutz. ]

gosh... designing a webpage is really brain-cracking... to a web design idiot like me, at least!
but it'll be really cool once i get it up and running...
soon... keep your eyes on this page... cos... things are gonna start happenning...

[ 21102003 3.28am | a beginning. ]

re-inspired to create a nice page which i can design and post random rantings in.

when there's a beginning, does it mean there will be an end? do beginnings always mean a end will follow? afterall, whats a beginning if there's no end to subvert it? why would one need beginnings if everything lasted forever?

here i start an entry, and there will be many to follow. whither will it end?

screwed-up thoughts as usual. =)