[ 29122004 11.03pm | RJC - bishan ]

it was a strange feeling that i had today when i went to the new campus at bishan. on one hand, i was pretty awed by the large new building and the spacious designs... on the other, i had a twinge (a LARGE twinge) of pain, knowing that the campus i loved and had so many lovely moments in no longer belonged to RJ. i was hit with the realisation once again that i had graduated... and was never to return there as a student... to experience those 2 years of laughter and tears again.
the old campus was imbued with tradition, love, spirit. you could feel and see the generations that had been there... from the worn out track, to the gross retro patterned sofas in the library (which are in the new library... and man do they stick out like a sore thumb in the grand 3 story glass and green circular library) ... to the strange sweet smell of detergent or bodyily fumes or something else at the bag deposit area of the library... to the patchy grass field tromped on by millions of feet... to the canteen, with bubble tea pearl stains on the walls and sam's autographed playing cards on the ceiling... to the pond with turtles that ate flowers and the fish we caught for emery's snapping turtle...

there are so many memories of RJC - mt sinai that i keep in a special place.

when i get the photos of the new campus, from various other people who brought cams, i will post them up.

the new campus is... nice. as are all new things. but it presently lacks the flavour, the bird shit on the canteen tables, the ants crawling up cracked walls, the character, the flowering trees at the end of the track, the malaysian train track with its noisy trains.

its an institution, not a family.

its strange how the people of my batch bonded. the sports people especially. we bonded despite being in different classes, different ccas, different sec schools. and we were the only batch that i saw in a large group together today. we ended off our reunion with a basketball game in the courts, fitting... since we used to meet up to shoot hoops every now and then.

what can i say about the new building? ostentatious. beautiful. tastefully coloured. designer.
an indoor bball / floorball / 4 badminton court air-coned hall that took up an entire wing. gorgeous acoustics...
a dance wing with multi levels of dance studios taking up another wing...
a performing arts wing, or what i took to be one, LT6, some random rooms, a theatre...
an indoor carpark, with tennis courts and volleyball court on the top and a rifle range below taking up yet another wing...
all this aside from the main building which is made up of a few circular portions and a few blocks.
i was amazed at the size. theres also a track. a bright red, beautiful track, with a carfully turfed field.

a security guard that scolded us for playing in the bball courts without "booking" it first.
something that would never have happened in the old campus. says alot doesnt it?

. no more climbing over or squeezing through gates after late nights in school
. no more using the facilities and being welcomed, rather, expect to be chased away, marginalised.
. no more decent students, let me get a pic up of a girl who was simply sprawling in full view of everyone, in a very short skirt

one thing seems to remain the same though. thats the windy gusts blowing around cheekilly.
and the lockers that survived through a major break-in back in j2... looking incongruous against the fresh paint.
everything that was from the old rj... ended up looking out of place on the new campus. like the sofas in the library.
seems to symbolise the incongruity of the experiences in the old campus and those to be had in the new campus.

i'm sorry if i go on and on. i cant refrain.
you will never know how much i love/d RJC.

Raffles Junior College - Auspicium Melioris Aevi

[ 29122004 12.42am | sailing~ ]

did a meet up with some sailors today. was fantastic! it was just like old times... when we used to go for dinner after training... sigh...
in clockwise order around me... ziyang, liqing, james, yanrong, michelle, desmond, xiang... we were short a few... but they were mentioned fondly. hehheh...
nostalgic... esp since RJ's moving tml... or is it today...
found out that desmond is a voyuer on my site! he stole my make up during coms ball and despite his repeated promises to return it... he hasnt. he's skinny... and has braces.
its amazing to see how every one of us has evolved over the past *gasp* FOUR years! oh gosh... i really didnt realise that we'd known each other for quite so long... somehow... links dont die. we got to chatting with no problem...
ah. i miss those times. those late nights in school after training... guys and girls stripping each other... after training runs... dinner... NSC... 420 course... shivering out as sea as it rained... jumping into the cool water on hot days... getting cleated... getting boomed... breaking masts... derigging... *groan*... long walks out to the busstop hitching rides to get there... even in the back of a truck... the heavy duty kinda truck... which carries soil and debris. sailing from NSC to CSC...
AHHHHH
i dont think i will ever grow tired of thinking back on those fabulous times. we formed a bond that stays... and though i may not see them regularly... i really do think of them from time to time... esp when i glimpse the sea... or drive past NSC.

why does life have to move on from the best times i've ever had...

[ 27122004 11.50pm | xmas message ]

did u people read about the little girl who got lost for 24hrs and was found on christmas eve?
in case you havent, she apparently walked out of her home to buy sweets and then decided to visit her friend at harbourfront. following that, she went to orchard and befriended a tissue seller who brought her home for the night. she was spotted the next day while having breakfast with the tissue seller.
its a living story of the prodigal son. cf. luke 15:11-24. when she was returned to her mother, her mother said something along the lines of "this is the best christmas present i could get, my daughter was lost, but now she is found."
the picture of her mother holding her daughter, and the daughter's sheepish face said it all. thats the face of someone who's done wrong and has come back expecting scolding. but the mother just hugged and kissed her.
the similiarities are uncanny, re-read both stories if you can.
this was our christmas eve sermon given by leon stewart, its amazing cos i read the papers not thinking much of the story, just glad that it didnt turn out like huang na's. but the holy spirit must have touched leon as he read it, which gave him eyes to see the resemblance.
amazing christmas eve.

[ 24122004 2.47am | bloop! ]

this is my christmas gift to you readers... lol... not much of a gift, but anyway, hope it gives you some laughs.
http://www.angelfire.com/creep/sylvirspydir/bloop/

it will be a growing compilation, if u have anything you'd like to share, just let me know, and i'll add it in.


***
site is trying to undergo a change... i'm getting a little tired of the layout and not being able to put in pictures.

be patient with me as i multi task.

in the meantine...

[ 11122004 12.51am | stuck ]

i think i fall in the category of people who perpetually wish they were 18. or 19. and never get any older. i have a very strong longing for my jc days, for some reason or the other. and it doesnt help that i definitely dont look my age. i could pass for some secondary school kid if i tried. actually, i dont even need to try.

sigh.

i'm stuck in the past.

[ 10122004 2.17am | cousin day ]

went out with my kok cousin who kept complaining that she put on 4 kg. lol...

big complaint of the day : levi's perfect fit jeans dont come in size 24
like... ok. i hate to say it, but the perfect fit in white really looks good. everything fits, except the top band. thats how sucky. they have a model thats white. with the perfect fit cut. unfortunately, the smallest is 25. not that they ran out of stock. but cos they dont bring that size in. so small butt-ers like me have been discriminated! REVOLT!

anyway. cousin reminded me of an outing to moonfish where her friend wanted ketchup. so my cousin, being the ever helpful, asked the waiter "do you have... erm... like ketchup?"
the resulting concoction tasted somewhat like chilli sauce.
moral of the story - tell waiters exactly what you want. dont like this like that.
haha...

does anyone know the price for wakeboarding? i've got a deal for $65 for 4hrs, thanks to my resourceful cousin. wondering if its worth it.

[ 09122004 12.33am | toilets. ]

i think people have a thing about clean public toilets. you cant really bear to dirty them. whereas dirty public toilets are free for all.
think cine 3rd floor toilets vs somerset mrt toilets.

anyway, why the comparison? cos i'm back working at egames. this time, the lan side. time passes a little more quickly there. theres more to do, life is more interesting. i think i till die if i have to go back to the other side now... lol... but then, that side has a lot of perm staff now.

took a look at boon's diamond back razor. its like the viper, but more moulded, with a kinda gay purple - green shimmery shell and side buttons. i'd prefer it matte black. or matte silver. cant say i love the color. but i wouldnt mind one anyway. lol.

preach was asking me what would make my heart melt. well, definitely not roses, teddy bears and jewellery, as what he was describing. the thought would touch me, but the items would be relegated to some corner soon. i'm a practical techie kind. or practical glam kind. (ie, clothes) lol...
plus, i've always had this idea that typical gal stuff if stuff for a typical gal, things that a gal is certain to like no matter wat. sorta like a model answer. so much so guys only think of those few items when buying presents for a gal. its like saying all guys like soccer, therefore soccer balls or soccer boots are a solution for all guy presents. yeah?
if a guy bothered to know you and figure out what you liked, he'd get something you liked. not something you're supposed to like.

erm... ok... how did i get here from toilets... lol

i like little boys. they are so humourous in their strange straightforward, totally unselfconscious, thick skinned way.
there was this little, ok... prob sec school age...but he was small... boy at egames today, who asked me to open his soft drink can after a fruitless attempt. lol! i mean, you know, he just like shoved it in my face and asked me why it couldnt open. and i was like at the counter doing my thing. like i was his mother or something!
today was a freaking funny day... poonam and i had a good time laughing at and with kary. somehow everything seemed amusing.
maybe its just the post exam invincible mode that i'm in.

ran into yeongshi and fam todae. year one sem 1 reunion man...

meeting my cousin tml. seems like all my female cousins love cats.

back to pandora. not splinter cell : pandora tomorrow (the pc game). a book. for a change.

[ 29112004 12.35am | ROAR! ]

i cannot take this. i cant study anymore! or rather, i cant be bothered to! tmls papers... well, one i've been doing consistent work for, the other... is just unstudyable. the questions have barely any relation to the notes. ROAR! i'm angry! with my entire mind on organising dota competitions (anyone interested?) and world of warcraft and halflife and cs and getting a bird and a cat and habitat for humanity things... theres just no space for earthquakes and volcanoes and the pacific rim. although i must admit they do fascinate me somewhat.
AH!
i cant believe i have to go through this every wat... 4 mths? and that i have to do this at least 3 more times!!! i'm only half way through my uni! AHH!! and thats not counting honours!
somebody SAVE ME!!!

***

ok. need to compose myself.

doesnt help that i just had this super frustrating dota game.
(yes i am playing, the night before my final 2 exams.
somebody SLAP ME!!)

[ 26112004 7.43am | shit happens ]

ok. i broke my nail flushing the toilet. shit happens, i know, but 3 times in a mth? my nail is condemned.

ok guys... whats with the discussion on various games on my tagboard?
dont distract me... i'm distracted enough as it is... after monday pls. lol...
i just read the SEP (student exchange programme) site... cap for eligibility is 3??? only?? i'd have expected it to be like... 4 or something... thats why i never dared go check it out.

expectations. how they can scare you...
(hope my expectations of HL2 and WoW wont be dashed.)

[ 16112004 1.28am | rehi world! ]

hello hello, i'm so super busy i cant believe i have time to leave a few words here...
been working at the singapore motorshow 2004. relax... i'm not one of those race queens... i wear a super un-funky outfit, but at least its super comfortable! the shirt (ok... tank top. wide straps, like... 14cm wide) is a few sizes to large, same goes to the 3/4 pants i wear. really surprised that i managed to get a job, at such an event, which has such decent wear man.
got some pics, may post them up after exams if i feel like. lots of chio race queens there man...

anyway, some replying

zy - when exactly is it out?? soon right?
passer-by - lol... thanks. gaming is in my blood. its a habit i just cant kick... unfortunately for my studies...
wm - lol... fine. why not... bangkok? go shopping! phukets a little of a waste of money, even though its cheap. i have to start saving.
bearz - u dota too?? add me to your friends list lah... i'm in us west nick sephora ;)
yan - you toot. wat was it about those music groups you were asking me about? u trying to give them away or something? u have 5 more days to breathe than me... i end on the 29th. go out after that k!
dan - HELLO!! i cant wait to see you without your hair... haha... pop by the motorshow over the next weekend or something?

ok. back to work. =)
studying and working is not a fun thing... its really pretty tiring... and you need tons of self discipline... trust me on that.

[ 07112004 11.13pm | wish list ]

things i feel like getting, but presently lack means to do so...
extravagance, to say the least.
"wants are unlimited"

- white lip gloss from bobby brown. for the ghostly look
- blue cowl neck backless top with beaded belt from mango. ( =p gorgeous)
- external disk storage for my laptop... say... 80 gig.
- world of Warcraft
- lord of the rings - 3rd age (i think) double player RPG
- time to play sacred
- more food.
[edited 08112004 6.05pm]
- halflife 2 silver edition. :)

[ 28102004 5.46pm | taking a break ]

yup, a short break from the essays. i still have a few hundred words to go. -_-
pondering... does it sound weird to say that i like birds?
many find that a really strange choice cos they find birds impersonal and... well... un-cuddly. i'd like to dispell that myth. if you ever have a chance to obtain a baby budgerigar (budgie), one so young that you have to hand feed it mush, you'd realise that birds can be extremely endearing. if they're imprinted on you... ok. let me define imprinting first. when animals are young, it looks to its parents to learn what it's kind looks like. cos it cant see itself. hence, it will start to believe that you are one of its kind, and treat you likewise, ie, with jealousy, with love etc.
ok. so, if u get an imprinted budgie, you would definitely change your mind about birds being impersonal and un-cuddly.
my own budgie (she expired a while ago... to my grief...) was delightful. she would roll over on her back and kick around... she would snuggle under my hand when it was resting idly on the table... she would run to stand on my foot when she was on the floor and wanted to be picked up... she would nibble at my earrings and ears as she sat on my shoulder... sometimes preening my hair for me... she would let me stuff her head into my mouth as i pretended to eat her... she would let me stroke and preen her head with my fingers... she used to have the free run of my house... run, because her wings were clipped. a preventive measure in case something startled her and she flew off in a fright and lost her way...
sigh.

[ 25102004 2.57pm | sun after the rain ]

literally, and figuratively. after pouring for the last few days, some sunlight is filtering through the clouds and heating up my tiny room.
i can't say i'm happy about that.

but i am happy about my present work load. at least i only have 4 essays due now. and only 2 that i have to write from scratch. actually, one's in jap, which aint that bad...

oh well. so much about work.

was thinking about it... have you ever hung up the phone on someone?
probably... yes, right?
but have you slammed down the phone on anyone?

in this age of mobile phones... slamming down phones is no longer possible... especially not when most people carry $300+ phones around... (hurhur)
plus, most home phones nowadays are the press button to hang up type. so there really aint such a thing as slamming down a phone on someone. [pls, no corny comments about how you can physically injure someone with a phone...]
even if you're really angry and you want to make a statement by hanging up noisily, the most a phone nowadays can muster is a soft beep.

anyway, back to work. expect lots of entries from me cos its exam time... and i'm stuck in hall trying to focus. (yeah right... with LAN internet...)

[ 21102004 12.49am | i'm back! ]

contrary to what "me" thinks, i have not abandoned my blog! i've just been really really busy... i just finished writing about 3000 words today and was trying to chill out and play warcraft when i discovered that sharing bandwidth with a block of PGP people is not conducive... i got kicked from dota. anyway.
who is "me"?

before i forget, happy birthday to dong! :)

for those who don't know, *ahem*weiming*ahem*, i have moved into hall. pgp. my present room is the size of my wet kitchen which is pathetic and claustraphobic. but its mine. and my LAN has finally been fixed. so now, i have internet in my room!

essay season is coming to an end, tml will mark the death of 5000 words, and friday will give me one more opportunity to rid myself of 1000 more words.
after that, i have 2000 words due on monday, 2000 more on thursday and about 800 on friday.
i was just complaining to my sister when she started counting the words she had to turn in all the time. she does about... i dunno... 6 articles or so a month, each about 11000 words. haha... complaining to her made her depressed.

i have a headache and was having cramps, but my excitement at having internet after not having it for 3 days just overwhelmed it all...

who is "me"??

***
anyway. its been a reflective couple of days...

there are people who look really good, or at least not bad in real life, but really really suck in photos. unphotogenic. but i dont really understand why... maybe they should learn to be more natural in front of cameras...
on the other hand, there are the really really weird looking ones... (like the U2 lady model... with the really intense birdlike stare...) and kesse (america's top model season 1... not sure if thats how you spell her name) who actually do photograph really well...

its all about angles i guess. people who look good in real life should work on looking good in front of cameras.

plus... i'm thinking about packages and selected features.
i'm a legs person. legs are THE thing man... because they are more genetic than they are doctored or excercised. gorgeous legs are... impossible to obtain... unless you're born with them.
but i'm a very face person too. you can have a really great bod, but if only your back view, or your neck down is worth looking at... well... then its not very worth it...
bods... are controllable... they can be excercised and plastic surgeoned into shape... faces are best naturally sculpted.
oh well.
half dead ramblings from a big fat ugly pig.
(so shoot me if i'm feeling bloated and puffy.)

o, dont worry, this isnt what i was really reflecting about that made my past few days so reflective.
i'm not that obsessed yet.

[ 07102004 11.26am | old ]

a year older, a year unhappier.

[ 13092004 12.53am | ughz. ]

pet peeve 1 : it super pisses me off when people who take the elevator up take the elevator going down because there are tons of ppl who are waiting to go up. for example, in cineleisure. now that the foodcourt is open, the lift serving all floors goes down to the basement. as you all should know, level 1, groundfloor, is always mama crowded. hence, the toots just chiong into a lift thats goes down so that when it goes back up to lvl 1 from basement, no one can get on anymore. that pisses me off immensely. especially since i get food from the foodcourt and have to go back up to my shop on level 3 asap. the lift comes down chock full of ppl who arent getting out. RAWR.

pet peeve 2 : why is singapore so concerned with race, religion and watnots when wanting to apply for jobs, or actually, almost anything else? its such futile categorization. if singapore prides herself to be a multiracial, multireligious kinda community, why do they have to make one fill out a lengthy form on who they are, when they cant even explain why they are who they are? isnt it more applicable to ask what languages one speaks etc. i mean, would you REALLY not hire someone because he/she is a certain skin colour or has certain religious beliefs? i'm talking about a normal run of the mill job, not one with religious or racial overtones... like well... uh... being a pastor.

pet peeve 3 : i'm sick of people who dont signal and think they own the whole road, who have big cars and think they can straddle 4 lanes. RAWR. to quote my dad " why buy an expensive car with a signal, and then dont use it?"
another of my favourites " signalling is free, its doesnt hurt to use it freely. (but not abusively.)"
RAWR!!

***

anyway, ran into quite a few people over the weekend, sue and her bunch being some of them. hehheh... wish i marshalled for wcg, even though it was (i heard) a pretty big flop, at least they got tons of freebies. =p...

angel's over from indonesia! and i didnt find out til today. roar. and shes been here since thursday. double roar. oh well, gonna try to send her off tml, but i have lect, and a match in the evening. so... gotta sleep on it.
todae was pretty fun, one of the rare sundays where my mum lets me out. had lunch (i watched them have lunch rather, cos my family fasts on sundays til dinner) with team bandung, it was nice to gather again... and watch nick be a kok. haha...

nick:"you know ah, you cant break an egg by squeezing it"
(gives precious, expensive egg that everyone was drooling over at the prospect of eating it... a really hard squeeze)
egg:"pop"
the rest of us (7 in all):"there goes an egg...and we only have 2..."

an amusing outing i must say.

[ 01092004 1.23am | angry ]

in case you were wondering about the last post (which i deleted) that was blank, i actually typed a long long thing about housing conditions. but somehow i clicked this and that and it disappeared, leaving me with an empty post. anyway, i shall write about it when inspiration hits me again. in the meantime, i'm really angry with the kok up deleting thing.

but.

for now, let me rant about the SAF. (yes joel and alwyn, i'm finally seeing things that i REALLY dont like about it)
there was a function today, some dunno wat thing at a hotel. and there was TOPLESS dancing. (ok... i'm wondering how many people are gonna surf to my site cos of those 2 words. ie. "topless dancing")
thats really distasteful. topless, meaning, really all totally topless.
what are the people up there trying to do? promote porn and geylang? our cohabitation rate, premarital sex rate are all going up. think about purity. to be untainted. think about this from both angles, the boys and the performing females.
call me a frog in the well, call me a traditionalist, but i believe in the purity and sanctity of marriage, only within which you can expose yourself, and be exposed to your partner. i believe in this, and i will not budge from it.
such ludicrous "functions", no matter how rampant, and how much of a "normal occurrence" it becomes, will ever make me change my mind on this matter. the day things like this dont affect me is the day i am no more myself and have sunken into the pit where all the rest of these people are. apathetic fools.
to be so unexcited that sanctity of sex has to be invaded, used as a tool.
we are indeed in the last days of this sinful world. i am so angry i want to rush about the house breaking down the walls.
i'm furious.

[ 27082004 3.46pm | ugh ]

i have been having many thoughts about what to write. like, i see something, and inspiration comes. however, internet and a computer is not always avaliable. this is pissing me off. but i cant really do anything about it.

tiring myself with travelling and school.
on my way to play mahjong at eric's with the rj bunch. much needed break.

out-

[ 15082004 11.46pm | totd ]

thought of the day : socialites arent that good at personal relations cos they are trained to be impersonally courteous.

***

today was the last match as undergraduates - graduates... if the split goes well, we'll be left without the backbone of our lines, and about 3 defenders. will miss the advice and the screaming sidelines...

the pinkies played well, many shots on goal and they were faster and more focused than us, i felt.
they kept up the intensity throughout the entire match...

we gave them a hard fight too i believe, but i died off after the first period and a half. stamina.

new goals : train as if playing a match.
run more, for stamina.

roar. and i need a stick bag. if i'm frivolous enough, i'll get a white one.

[ 12082004 12.52am | playing.safe ]

was walking along at ang mo kio central. saw a kid with 2 adults playing in a grass patch surrounded by brick seatings.
the adults were talking to each other, the kid was playing with something in his hand :
a packet of durex - play safe.

[ 03082004 11.20pm | glee- ]

with bated breath, i walked, nay, i nearly ran, up the long escalators...
anticipation, adrenaline... the knowledge of almost holding it in my hands, the yearning nearly causing me to stumble down the long flight i just climbed up, pushing my burning muscles on.
a sleepless night, spent thinking, dreaming, waiting... for this exact moment.
a barely controlled smile lighting up my dark eye-ringed face...
"i'm sorry, jay's new album isn't here yet, the supplier says he'll be bringing it in later though... come back later?"

-crash-

so much for waking up early.

***

haha.
anyway, i finally have the coveted cd in my hands. cd, and vcd. and, its gorgeous, as expected.
he was smiling at me over dinner, a contented, wistful smile, at my present day uncharacteristic hyperactiveness, at the glee and unconcealed, unsullied happiness, rather than at my anecdote about a flying cockroach that defiled my room the night before.
"i haven't seen you this happy in a long time... if only you could be this happy all the time..."

***

house of flying daggers

ending left everyone in the cinema confused, judging by the unanimous "huh?" when the credits came out.
all i can say is that the 3 of them (zhang zi yi, andy lau, and takeshi kaneshiro) looked really good in the show.
it was predictable... duh she wasnt really blind... and duh she would run off with takeshi...
one of the rare chinese movies which attempt to bring in a wider theme into the picture, rather than the usual traditional i love her, he loves her too, we all die kinda thingy.

brotherhood

kinda draggy... mildly touching. young jin is chio and lee seok jin is cute.
war scenes are pretty real... story line is abit huh... you have to fill in quite a few gaps yourself.
directing aint that good either.
but not bad lah i guess. somehow the people who make you smile the most seem to die all the time. oh well.

[ 28072004 2.51pm | chests. ]
what is it about chests that people find so fascinating.
was reading the new paper about the new paper faces, and one girl was featured cos she had big boobs. the article continued, giving specific measurements.
thats ridiculous. if women are breasts, does that mean men are penises? how come guys arent featured with appendage lengths on newspapers?

sensation. thats all the new paper is about.
like the recent fiasco about nus and ntu ragging. how for forfeits, the guys had to strip their trunks off and let the girls hold them for 2 minutes... or how gals have to sit on guys laps in the bus.
after experiencing law camp 2003, i've realised they cant force you to do forfeits. you have to be willing to do them. if not, a plain refusal would suffice.

new paper.
tsk.

[ 26072004 4.52pm | driving ]

what about driving? i passed. =) with 14 points. nearly failed again cos of the stupid left turn arrows...
later.

[ 18072004 11.44pm | bandung revisited ]

found this on adelyn's blog... its damn funny... and it tells of the entire trip. cant help but laugh as i read it...

http://infinitude.diaryland.com/040621_61.html

yozzie.i'm back.din feel like cumign back though.had too much fun there.itz strange u noe.when i went,i was near-tears.went ard huggin pple in church.jan n shuqi specially came to send me off after their under no roof thing.was touched man.haha.ya anyway had so many new experiences at bandung tt i cant count dem.

walked on e airport tarmac for e first time while walking to e plane at senai airport.we took airasia.realli no frills.even e drinks cost money.n everything is free seating.n e plane is super cramped.n has a smell.haha.
bathed in freezing cold water too.e villa we stayed in had 2 toilets,one with sitting toilet n one with squat toilet.no showers but dere was a big tub with plastic scoops.n no hot water.so e first splash of water is alwayz a shocker.practically jumped abt when e water first touched me.was screaming silently aso.haha.n after bathtime ur fingers n toes r alwayz freezing n numb.oh there's no flush system too.no toilet paper aso.basically had to use e water to clean ur business n to force e contents down e toilet bowl.
there were beds n mattresses w pillows included aso.so brought my sleeping bag for nth.haha.me,huiyi,lynn n rachel shared a rm.me n lynn bked this bed with zebra print bedsheets cuz we tot it was cool.wah regret man.e bed is rocksolidhard.first nite was real bad.couldnt sleep at all.prob cuz it was freezing,there's a light fr outside shining in my eyes, e bed sux n i'm missing home.but e subsequent nites were nicer cuz we switched rms w e guys.their beds r so much nicer n comfy.e other mattress in our rm was realli soft n squishy tt u culdn't get up once u laid down.tok abt extremes.
there were 2 worksites we went to n we split into 2 grps to take turns to work at e sites.my grp-me,lynn,shanci,pinyoon,michelle,liyang.e other grp-tammy,huiyi,rachel,nicholas,tengen n weejin.our site was situated inside e village n we had to walk quite a dist.spent e first day forming a human chain n passing bricks 2 at a time to each other.but we still couldnt finish this huge wall of bricks.haha.den afternoon was spent making e foundations of e hse.had to fill this narrow 1m deep trench with rocks n cement.n we were sandwiched between 2 huge mountains of soil.had to b careful not to let any soil fall into e trench we were in.or else will haf to dig them out.did with shanci but our butts were so big every move we made caused sum soil to fall in.so it was frustrating.summore it rained n we had to run out n everytime we ran out we wuld step on sum soil n later we wuld haf to dig it out.
anyway our schedule fr mon-fri was liddat-8am-12pm:work,12pm-1sth:lunch at e villa,1sth-4.30pm:work.e villa is onli 5mins by lorry away fr both worksites.sat behind a lorry 4 e first time.coudl feel e wind in my hair everytime n e feeling is indescribable.usually woke up at 6am n i'm usaully one of e first to wake.cuz i din wanna fight w anyone for e toilet.anyway i go back to slp after washing up.haha.oh n a grp of indo-chinese joined us for work.they're abt same age as us.v fun n nice pple.helpful translators aso.miss them man.angeline is 17 n her bro samuel,who's 14,is real funny.their nephews r christian(16 n has a thing gg on w huiyi) n david(13).mia is 16 n studies in e US.she's here w her mum Ruby as part of her sch summer proj.yupz.they're a real frenly bunch.
laid bricks e rest of e 4 days.ya n made best frenz w cement.had to climb realli high n instable makeshift platforms to lay bricks on tall walls.risky job.but we had insurance.haha.michelle fell off one of e platforms n half a brick landed on her head.poor thing.haha.
oh n we got to plaster cement on e walls aso.itz like e hardest job man.it involves technique n wrist motion.which i seriously lack.everytime i smack cement on e wall,it starts sliding down.demoralising man.haha.but managed to finish half a wall w mich.
n i rode a motorcycle for e first time too.so fun!all of us were practically fighting for a turn on e bike.me n mich squeezed on e bike n bhas(one of e HFH pple there) drove.wat an exhilirating experience.haha.
e food at e villa was great cuz we had cooks living next door.so e meals were great.ate rice,fish,chicken,mee etc.e bananas were specially gd.melt in ur mouth.haha.n one of e homeowners gave us realli great strawberries he grew himself.damn sweet man.so we were real blessed to haf great food n enuff to eat n nice beds to slp on.e living conditions were better den expected.
think our rm set e record of being e messiest ard.haha.by e second day,everything was all over e place.huiyi even threw her undergarments ard.lucky e guys din c when they switched rms with us.sum of us aso reported missing items like underwear n nametags.haha.auntie susie said our rm resembles tt of a bangladeshi workers' quarters,esp since we got a clothesline draped with towels n watnot hanging fr e middle of e rm.n e rm's pretty dim aso.n is pervaded by a certain smell cuz we dunno how to open e windows until e 2nd last day.haha.
visited a cow shed near e villa on thurs after work to c e milking.wat a horrible experience.we were walking on this narrow path betwn cows n e cows were shitting like there was no tmr.i was standing right behind one's backside n coudl c itz butthole open n e shit fall out.itz green n real squishy btw.n one cow shitted real near us n itz shit splattered all over our feet.was screaming when e shit landed.haha.n we got to try e milk after itz boiled.vv nice.
got sunburnt too.n my nose exfoliated.but it wasnt v bad thanx to tammy n her aloe vera.haha.took a few stalks of aloe vera fr e hse opp e first site.tammy peeled e aloev n gave everyone a piece to put on our noses.rubbed it everywhere man.my face,my arms,legs..instant relief.haha.tt disgusting lynn went to eat her aloev after spreading it on her face.haha.tried abit of e aloev n almoz puked.gross stuff.damn bitter n it has e plant smell.totally unlike e aloev in e apple aloev juice.haha.
got to noe my teammates better on dis trip.hu wuldnt after seeing them for 24hrs for a wk?haha.discovered tt shanci is vv amusing n funny.hahaha.she makes me real happy.hahah.reminds me of jan except jan says stupid funny things but shan says intelligent funny things.n lynn is realli blur n slow.haha.n entertaining aso.e indonesians gave us this can of bear brand milk w a pic of bears on it so we bluffed lynn tt it was bear's milk.so she was like,'i'm so excited!i'm gonna try bear's milk!'haha.she even said it tasted n smelled diff.den she saw e label tt says:'bear brand milk is made fr fresh cow's milk'haha.so hilarious.we're so mean.n huiyi is a real heavy sleeper.nth can wake her man.we haf to shake,poke n slap her to wake her man.on e bus trip back,we even played bridge over her n used her as e card table.n she din even feel anything.haha.n her snores punctuate my slp every nite.haha.we recorded her snores on e last nite.soudned like a cow moo-ing.haha.n i find nick vv cute.his hair is v nice to touch so we always mess up his centre parting.haha.did a wall with him.so funny i tell u.he reminds me of my bro.
had a mini campfire on fri nite.danced e frenship dance which lasted quite short cuz dere were so few of us.haha.den cooked corn over e fire.e corn is outta of this world i tell u.so sweet.haha.i'm drooling.den we sang songs aso.o did i mention tt joyo plays e guitar realli well?he noes so many songs k.n his voice isnt too bad aso.n we taught him e chords to guan huai fang shi.haha.n we celebrated uncle py's bday aso.had cake.den all of us left cuz it was freezing except chriz n huiyi hu were alone outside playing guitar.heehee.scandalous.tsktsk.
din bathe at all on e last nite.tt day(sat) was r&r n we visited a tomato farm where e tomatoes were as big as fuji apples n saw goats.also went to a traditional market in lembang.but din buy anything.went horsecart riding instead.6 of us were squashed in one cart.haha.den visited a baptist church in bandung city.attended their youth meeting.played sum games with e youths there like broken telephone.e guys all haf e same hairstyle.as in centre parting n real long sideburns.n e gals were quite chio.long hair.v feminine.felt real ugly next to them cuz i had on jeans n a lousy tshirt onli.n e jeans were small n tight n totally unbreathable cuz they belonged to rachel.i din bring mine,so lent fr her.anyway,really regret not having enuff time to interact w e indo youths at e church.sum of them were expressing interest in e HFH's projs,esp e pastor's son hu seems particularly interested in shan.ahaha.
den we went to dis tea house for dinner.e soup dere was great altho i dunno wat they put inside.hehe.den slept all e way back.reached at 11pm so obviously it was too cold to bathe.ended up washing my hair w shan n hy.screamed when e water touched my head.n my head turned numb later.
ya so spent e rest of e nite n morning playing bridge,bluff n snap.angel n sam stayed w us but chriz n david had to leave in e afternoon.poor huiyi,her bf chriz has left.haha.anyway,playing bluff w sam is so fun cuz he's so farni.whole day wanna expose pple but get it all wrong n eventually getting all e cards for keeps.haha.den after getting bored of cards we watched sum euro cup match n mtv.they haf cable leh.can u blive it?!den we watched this bollywood movie n tammy kept putting in dialogue.so hilarious.was rolling on e floor.den fell asleep at 4am with lynn's legs as my pillow n my stomach as tammy's pillow.hmmm.den woke at 6 cuz it was bloody freezing n went back to e rm to sleep.
e last mornign was quite emotional.cuz we had to leave angel n sam.crying is contagious i learnt tt day.first angel started cryin n getting all those tissues out.den lynn n tammy n pretty much everyone followed suite n let e tears flow.even en cried.so sweet.he was like rubbing his eyes n saying,'not my fault..'when we teased him.but i din cry leh.dunno y i cannot squeeze any tears out.but i felt sad.realli depressed.hugged n sqeezed angel when we left.sighz.e onli person hu's e same age as me n i had to say gdbye.realli miss them.u rawk gal!n ur silly bro aso.haha.
e trip back to s'pore was pretty solemn.did nth but slp n play bridge.at senai,uncle bok sent me to mandarin hotel to meet my parents for dinner.felt happy to c my family but cant help feeling tt part of myself is still at bandung.sighz.
i miss bandung.i miss e frenz i made there.i miss e frenz here in s'pore.i miss e food.i miss e weather altho it can get bloody cold sumtimes.i miss everything!!
n i thank God tt i din follow my heart tt time a few mths ago when i hesitated abt signing up.i'm so glad i listened to tt small voice n signed up.n i din regret n nv will.

...

yeah, i know its a little outdated... but reading all this... transports me back in time...
sigh.


weiming ah. you should come to church. there was a sermon on the da vinci code you know.
alwyn, how come u have internet over there?

had combined class today, the aim was basically to ease those who have been in church for ages into serving ministries. like... TEACHING.
teaching is actually a good way of affirming how much you know. but, after tuitioning, i really dont think that teaching is a gift of mine. it takes too much effort and its not something that comes very naturally to me. or maybe i've just had bad experiences.
oh well.
its really true that after going to church for a long time, you tend to wonder why you're there, what on earth is everything for...
i wonder what kind of changes i would make if i could...

[ 07072004 10.32pm | cuz! ]

happy birthday yan! finally 18, now you can club legally and quit stealing id's from my friends! haha...

ming and mel and sir are all back for their summer? breaks. hmm. i forsee some catching up...

anyway, where i left off last entry.
davinci code.
it offers a very interesting take on Christianity, as well as brings to light some lesser known facts about it.
let me share some with you. roman catholism is actually a fusion between a pagan religion and christianity. many of the symbols in the roman catholic church are actually from this religion, for example, the common scene of mother mary cradling baby Jesus is actually copied from figures of the goddess isis. the halos around the saints also comes a religion that worships the sun.
plus, 25th december, is not the real birthdate of Jesus. in fact, it is the special date of various pagan gods, like dionysius and adonis.
for this reason, some churches do not celebrate christmas, like my aunt gen's church.
anyway, i found bits of the plot predictable, maybe i just managed to pick on the hints that dan brown left around. but some twists managed to amuse me. in retrospect, i should have noticed... given all the hints were in the book...
it wasnt exceptionally funny... its not a read that will leave you grinning stupidly on the mrt. but not bad.
i shall look for his other books, when i have the time and money...

in case anyone wants to borrow the book, theres a waiting list.
adelyne
huiyi
weiming? or are u getting it from your sister.

[ 07072004 12.40am | windstruck ]

caught 2 shows recently, spiderman 2 and windstruck.
i'd recommend spiderman cos everyone's watching it, and the soundtrack is great, and the dr octavius (or however you spell his name) really looks like the one in the comics. spiderman's landlord's daughter however, is exceeding ugly.
the "i really love you so much, but i cant bear to tell you cos it will harm you" theme is extremely irritating. because i think thats the last thing someone in love will think about, that their love will lead to personal harm.
oh well.
nice ending for the setting of spiderman 3 though. these ppl know how to make you come back for more. felt like an episode of smallville, with uglier actors.

windstruck however, is an excellent laugh. as well as a sweet story. its sad too, i guess. i like the front part alot, it made me laugh like a nut... so much so that i think the rest of the cinema was laughing at me rather than at the show.
but after halftime, the show got kinda draggy. stick through the draggieness and the cliche portrayed "heaven" backdrop and you'll be surprised by a nice twist. its hard to surprise me, so i give the director credit for that.
i wouldnt call the cast good-looking, but i love the female lead in her black uniform... -droolz-
oh yeah, the starting misled me a little too... hehheh. that touch impressed me. unconventional directing there...

=)

next up, davinci code.
now, wc!

[ 30062004 3.26pm | KL ]

the kl trip was a blast man. spent our days there shopping at chinatown and eating good food. =) plus, i scored my first ever competition goal. it was ugly, but as banana says, its a goal nonetheless.
i have to be more diligent in my ankle exercises, and i need to get my fitness back. a little difficult, seeing as i am down with diarrhoea from dunno where. must be my mum's mushrooms. lolz.

anyway, i'm back for a while, before i leave, tentatively, on the 8th july, i think, for phuket with the rj bunch. gonna be working at egames once dilip gets my schedule confirmed. which means, no more late late nights, and more early mornings. shouldnt be too difficult since i just got back from 2 camps which made me sleep early and wake up early. yeah, i have no idea why i was so tired... everyone went to watch euro and i happilly konked off on my bed, only to wake at like... 5am cos shen came banging back into the room.
in accordance with the soccer fever, us gals came back to sg with a large bag of soccer jerseys from jln petalling night market. =) hehheh. i currently have holland, real madrid and argentina, which i think is very pretty cos its blue.
and, i have coloured contacts. for fun. haha.

went clubbing on the last night there, it was ok... spent most of the night sitting on the sofa watching bags cos i was feeling out of sorts. i mean, i actually took a panadol!

wished i could have pushed myself more for the games, but it was kinda scary. and tiring. as it is, i got a large bruise from being pushed by a large 15, which i just discovered yesterday.

basically just rattling and rattling...

missed the bandung trip presentation... sigh... would really have liked to be in church for it... and see my stupid photo. haha...

anyway, wm, glad ure ok, pity u couldnt get an mc... for those not in the know, he got banged down by a car while cycling. reason? she was a lady driver... -_-

lish, u back in sg? hope to catch u soon. yup, i'm still around that area... lolz...

[ 21062004 3.42pm | bandung. ]

just back from a week long trip to indonesia bandung. what can i say... the normally unsentimental, unfeeling rock (me) actually shed a few tears at the end of the trip. it was the total effect... plus the lack of sleep, plus angel's leaving...

after 2 months of preparation, and working to make the trip succeed, to see it all over gives one a bittersweet feeling. bitter cos we'll definitely miss the place and people tons, sweet cos you know that you've done something worthwhile, that it was a success.

took an air asia flight there, it was hell after the SIA trips that i'm normally used to. followed by a 5 hr bus ride, which wasnt too bad, considering ipoh to singapore took 12 hrs.

talked to the church people whom i grew up with, possibly more in that week than i have ever in my life. (yes shan...) and got to know the younger ones better. and got to listen to liyang mooning over weiling. and interacted more with pin yoon's and wee jin's kids...

food there was great. absolutely delicious... although picky ones barely ate anything other than rice (rachel grrr... must force feed one...)
the water was refreshing, colder than on mount ophir, beautiful after a long day's work building houses.
mornings were cold, smoke coming out of our mouths when we breathed and talked.

campfire night... friendship dance... huiyi and christian... lol.
memories...

(which i will continue writing about soon cos i have to run...)

[ 07062004 11.19pm | catch-up ]

toufu - i'm gonna be away 13-20 and 24-27 june. july would be great.
sophia - blocks? how u doing gal... =)
mel - sms me for immediate attention man! next week = ? and i'm not hardcore. i dont game 8 hrs a day. anymore. at least. so i'm not hardcore.

***

i love jasmine kok.

shes one of the VERY few kids that i ADORE.
check out wm's blog for more.
(ps. he loves her too)
(pps. so does thomas and weinurn)
wm, thanks for the link, i havent got my pic pages up yet.

the MHI (ministry for the hearing impaired) camp was really really fun. the kids are pure, and pretty innocent, with exceptions like jun chong who keep asking my if i'm attached to various guys... eg. weiming (ee), thomas (strong!), weinurn (least often)
haha... and theres this really sweet couple... awww... alvin and i forgot her name.

the camp was more for the volunteers than the participants... i believe we were touched and enriched... beyond compare. in these kids, i believe in the meaning of innocence, in pure joy, goodness, kindness, which overrides, or at least shines through, mischief and playfulness. and to make a cynic like me believe in all this... means it was something.

heres the 5 koks, courtesy of wm's link again


wei nurn, me, thomas, shen and weiming.
all from rj. not only did they make me believe that ruggers can actually act like normal people, they made me discover that they actually do have a heart to help, a soft spot (for jasmine), are great fun and are super chen(4) ji(1). see the photo... just take the opportunity to put arms around us.
anyway, rj ppl... will always gravitate to each other. thats a conclusion that shen and i came up with. you may not have talked much to each other in school, or even at all, but when u meet outside... theres always this common ground. the rafflesian spirit.

pretty sad that we missed talent night, because it was a huge success... most camps have really boring talent nights... but maybe its cos these hearing impaired have few chances to express themselves, or are unable to in other ways... but they shone... acting skits...

more about camp when i am more awake.

stay tuned for tons of unglam, funny and cute photos!

***

asri's wedding.
for the uninitiated, asri is my age, his bride is a year younger. both doing medicine in NUS.
amazing... i cant imagine anyone else i know getting married at this age...
should have seen them... they looked so happy...
it was like an rj gathering =) everyone, (well, almost...) was there...
desmond! u sneaky voyuer! glad to catch u there man... and ziyang too...

[ 30052004 3.58am | of bridge and ogres. ]

been a pretty fun couple of days.
had an overnight bridge session after floorball chalet at changi.
during which i managed to obtain various unglam photos. =p

i have a craving for lan, so i guess i will be visiting various lan shops with people who want to frag and wc. =)

...

to date, since hols started, i have watched
VCD
-interview with the vampire
-austin powers 1
-into the mirror
-austin powers 2
-shallow hal
-love me if you dare
bigscreen
-50 first dates
-the eye2
-starsky and hutch
-troy
-kill bill 2
-passion of the Christ
-the missing

and to add to the list, i just caught shrek 2 today. (wm, stop reading if u havent watched it yet)

-shrek2

i was putting off watching it for a long long time because it looked like another of those silly animated things...
well, i was right. it was one of those silly animated things, with a cliche ending. way too romantic and sappy for my liking. plus, the cinema was clogged with kids, even though it was a 2350 show. thats what happens when you watch a show on saturday i guess.
anyway, shrek2 did have some pretty good funny bits, but they were mostly terribly predictable. and the bits that would have been damn funny were spoilt by trailers and advertising, like the farting in the mudpool and burping at the table.
lots of spoofs though, that bit i appreciated. to name a couple of the most obvious ones, the lotr scene and mission impossible.
plot ran along the love-someone-for-their-character-not-their-looks thing, which is getting pretty stale.
love the cat though... love it to bits... adore it to pieces... watch the show, and you will understand why. theres something about large round eyes and a helpless look which sends people (not just females) awwwwwwwww-ing. excellent emotional exploitation.

all in all, its good for a laugh and to recall scenes when out with friends. afterall, who wants to be left out when everyones discussing the latest...

smile factor : 6/10
thought factor : 2/10
overall :2/5

[ 28052004 3.23am | love me if you dare. ]

love me if you dare.

one of the best shows i have ever seen in my life...
a little too romantic, but offset by the rather macabre ending, as well as various other twists in the story.
proves that real everlasting love... does not, cannot, exist purely in that form on this planet.

portrays to the molecule every single feeling, confusion, inner turmoil, ... ... , that comes with love.
excellent characterisation.

gorgeous... totally.

watch it.
game?

[ 23052004 11.48pm | tired. ]

karen : unfulfilled sexual fantasies... does not sound good... haha...

***

just got back from a short but really eventful trip to malaysia. drove up to ipoh to throw somemore wedding dinners for my sister. my mum's folks are malaysian see.
anyway, this trip, i experienced a cracked windshield as well as a truck's brake on fire.
the first occurred on the north-south highway when a small stone flew into my car's windshield, resulting in a loud birdshit sound. when you're driving at over 100km/h, anything small shit that hits the windshield can cause it to crack see. good thing for the sun-ex that my dad put on the interior. think that stopped the whole screen from shattering.
the second occurred near a circus (roundabout, for the less familiar...) in ipoh. there was a whole lot of smoke from the truck 2 vehicles in front of us. my dad was like, o, he's carrying alot of ice. (huh??) then the car in front of us pulled away just in time for us to see the tire of the truck burst into flames. after parking dangerously close to the truck which looked like it was about to blow up, my dad rummaged in the boot for the fire extinguisher. by then, the little malay man driving the truck had jumped out, stuck his hand into the flames and was pouring water from his coca-cola bottle all over his wheel, with little effect. then, like achilles saving the day for the greeks, my dad appeared with the tiny extinguisher which miraculously was large enough to put out the fire very effectively.

***

after which, he told us the story of why he always carries a fire extinguisher with him in the car.
back in the days when he didnt carry a fire extinguisher in the car, he was driving along ubi, near weiming's camp, paya lebar air base. a fighter jet was coming in to land from an exercise in tekong. apparently, this jet, after discharging the dummy bomb, did not withdraw its hook. so as it was coming in to land, the hook caught on a motorcyclist and dragged him and his motorbike quite a way, setting them both on fire. my dad, and the motorists around, were powerless to help... so they watched him burn.

traumatic eh?
wonder how many million extras that pilot had to sign...

[ 13042005 12.38pm | dreams* ]

its really true. i only blog when i'm really busy. when i'm free and going out all the time, i have no time to blog, much less think.
but the brain still needs to work. and so, my thinking comes out in dreams.

had a super unrestful night last night, dreamt about having exams, a seaside camp...
my dreams are normally dark and kinda morbid. i dont have the sunshine and roses type of dreams. i dont ever remember having one. they're all like... horror flicks, vampires, murderers, people dying... the happiest dream i have is a recurring one about me cycling into a drain at the bottom of a steep slope. after which, i will kick myself awake.

i also have a dreamscape.
let me explain.
its like the world map, except that it exists in my dream world. i can recognise a place as one i've visited before in a previous dream, even though its seen in a different angle.
take my seaside dream last night : i have dreamt of this particular seascape, but the last time, i was in the sea, looking towards land. this time, i was on the shore, looking out to sea. yet, i could recognise that its the same place.

my seaside camp dream may sound happy and sunshiney, but no. it wasnt. the sea was murky dark, the waves were roaring, the sky was reddish grey... and someone who was fishing caught a shark which beat itself bloody on the seabed. after which i ate it.
and for orientation, i had to dive to a drop and get a handful of sand whilst being tied to an elastic band which prevented me from diving deep.
how warped.

but one of my most disturbing dreams... was about playing tennis with a frog. by that, i mean, using the frog as a ball, to play tennis. the aim, was to hit it so hard that it would smash up. at our feet, was a basin to collect frog smash. and the person with more frog smash would win.

the thing about dreams is... they are things which are in your subconscious. when i woke up from my frog dream, i was like... wth... thats how sadistic. then my mum was like, yar, and the scariest thing is that its all from you.

if dreams tell what a person is like... i wonder what mine says about me...

[ 10052004 12.47am | . ]

wow. my site is so screwed up.
its almost as screwed up as i am now.

[ 06052004 2.57am | events ]

eric's stayover
rehearsals
ting ting is gonna get a smack courtesy of shen and i.
raffles move and groove. - which i will do anything to attend.


***

from a book about 1001 things to do that will make you think

- sit in a room, a quiet room, alone. call your name, slowly and deliberately, like you are shouting at someone far away. for 20 minutes.
this is strange, because, you are calling someone who isnt really there. on the other hand, you are listening to your name being called by someone who isnt really there.
to end this, say "here i am"

=go to a... clinic, dentist... watever. and wait there for 20 minutes. after 20 minutes, go home. you are waiting, but you wait for nothing.

interesting eh? its like... "fighting for peace is like f***ing for virginity"...

[ 29042004 6.02pm | logic. ]

this is my mum for you.

'eh, you know ah, men's jockeys are super confortable you know! cos theres alot of ball space, so its loose, and the elastic doesnt squeeze too tightly."
so now shes gonna buy jockeys specially for sleeping in.

we were at the robinsons sale you see. at expo. where i saw this ex-rj guy. whose name i cant remember.
gold 90FM was there, music was pretty good
=oh donna
=dying inside to hold you
are two old favourites that i'm determined to re-acquaint myself with.

yeah, sorry wm, i went without you. cos i dunno when we'll be free at the same time again. plus, my mum pays for me.
hurhurhur.

[ 28042004 2.02am | zoolander ]

its damn freaking funny. the two of them have really good on screen chemistry man...
its banned in singapore cos it has something about the malaysian prime minister. which is such a dumb reason to ban a show...

***

some readjustment to my life is in order.
sleeping, eating habits... etc.

***

welcome back to sg zy.

[ 26042004 1.31pm | kill.bill.2 ]

it appears that i have forgotten to mention that i caught kill bill2 with mel, mel's friend and shen @ps on sat. it was entirely enjoyable. the storyline was pretty good, and ppl... watch out for the eyeball part. excellent. haha...
less gore, less fighting. explains the new rating "m18".
oh yes. and that i caught starsky and hutch with wm and humpy last week. which was so funny... my goodness. its your typical side-splitter, with lame cracks and all, but done a little better than usual.

intend to catch a few more shows...
.50 first dates
.into the mirror

not showing anymore
.love me if you dare
.zoolander <--- that how u spell it?

***

i am so tired.
what lies infront of me from today on...

[ 25042004 12.41am | dastardly. ]

pretty pissed off.

***

clubscapades

place : zouk / phuture
time : 11pm - 2/3am
day : friday, 23rd April 2004
with : melmel, mer, des foo, natasha, fay chin, her cousin, her cousin's friend (dont want to spell the names wrongly see)
event : fay's cousin's 19th bdae (which is on sun)

had a kahlua milk. which was nice and weak. cos i cant take alcohol.
(btw, the legal drinking age in the US is 21 if i'm not wrong.)

escapade 1:
there are buggers who keep dancing close and pushing us off our turf. so we get pissed off. hence, we devise a plan to keep our ground.
step 1 - melmel squeezes guy's butt
step 2 - melmel squeezes guy's butt somemore
step 3 - guy turns around to take a look
step 4 - i give guy a grin
haha... so what happens is i either get a shocked pleased look, or a wth are you up to look.
its damn funny. but we were just asking to get beaten up.

escapade 2:
melmel went back to the bar to get drinks. a shot and a vodka lime. then i went back to the floor thinking he was following. he wasnt.
so. i dance alone, thinking that he'll appear any moment.
he doesnt.
so what happens? i get picked up. but some recruit hair guy. ok.
lesson learnt - gal that dances alone will get picked up immediately.

escapade 3:
melmel challenges me to pick a guy up. and if i do, he'll pick a gal up.
using what i learnt from escapade 2, i edge away from the group towards this spectacle gang. everyone there wears some kind of eyewear. bizzare man.
anyway, on my way there, i run into this malay guy who, according to melmel is called andy, i couldnt really catch his name. he introduces me to his friends and puts a hand on my waist? ok. eek.
watever. too many details.
point is, i succeeded. and melmel played me out by not fulfilling his part of the deal. then, i run back to the safety of the group.

at the end of the night :
this bunch is damn fun to club with man. and fay is damn fun to dance with. so is mel. mer was always off on his own to one side. plus, he was so sober. cos he was driving.
ran into quite a few ppl there, fam's fren dreiser, jason whom i've been running into everywhere... clementi, sakae... gosh. yikley, songting, alim...
happiest bit of info i got : melmel, fay etc play CS! whee!

[yeah man... sorry guys. i'm so tame. but to ppl who know me, would be wondering what the *beep* i was thinking...]

[ 23042004 2.23am | dubious. ]

every now and then, the rare gentleman comes along and scares you.

***

there was a guy at raffles city, who was digging at his ass non-stop. it was really really off cos he was really going at it in full view. granted it was 10pm and most people had left. but still. thats what toilets are for.
after he dug his fill, he waddled off looking like he has potatoes in beween his legs.
then he proceeded to scratch his head with the same hand that he used to dig at his butt.
it was damn funny. mer and i were collapsing behind the pillar, deciding if we should yell
"itchy ah?"
or
"need help not?"
or
"wah... shiok ah!"

hehheh.
its unglam. ppl, pls, dont scratch your butt in public.

***

thinking about dubious unglam things...
back in rj, we, a03d and a03c were squashed into a TS. it was totally silent as we prepared ourselves for the common test.
in the midst of enjoying the silence before the storm,
chong geng lets rip an enormous fart.
it was so loud i thought it was the chair leg on the floor.

***

or max... jumping straight up into a TS roof beam from a chair while trying to WWF a bunch of sprawling a03d boys on the floor...

[ 21042004 12.26am | nicoll.hwy ]

what about it? it collapsed.

***

anyway. heres my top 5 most disgusting couples to see together, pdaing in town.

5) when the couple is really young.
4) where the gal is way taller than the guy.
3) the gal is damn alot chio-er than the guy is yandao. (and vice versa)
2) when they are fat ass ugly.
1) a mix of all the above.

i'm a bitch todae. sorry. been in a fantastically bitchy mood recently. just ask shen. or ruth. i have no idea why.
dont get offended with me ok? i'm sure all you disgusting couples reading this have fantastic characters. its just... i dont know you. and i may end up being stuck in one of those disgusting couplehood relationships anytime in future. one never knows. when that happens, i'll try to keep myself off the streets. and u will be welcome to bang me on your blogs about it.

[actually, the beauty about relationships like that, with the exception of no. 5, is that you can be sure that the couple really likes each other... its more than skin deep.
hmm.]

in the meantime,
just dont pda. pls. save that for homes and private spaces.
pda is a nono. pls...
*begs*

[ 19042004 3.59am | huh? ]

ok. i dunno why the blogger banner is in the middle of nowhere. but it looks pretty amusing.

***

its been an excellent day.
this is one sunday, in a really really long time that i actually didnt dread waking up early and sitting through everything. and i spent an unusually long time in church. was there form 8am til 3 plus.
why?
because i am now involved in a ministry. we are actively fund raising for our trip to indonesia, bandung. we are going under habitat for humanity and we have to raise about 1k per person. this organisation sends volunteers worldwide to build houses for the needy. so i really think this is gonna be an eye opening experience for all of us.
its also a chance for revival... of my relationship with God, with the church, with the the other youth.
pray for me k? fund raising's no joke in a church with a congregation of 200.

***

spent the night fooling around with microsoft frontpage. i think i'm getting the hang of it. yes dan, i know you're gonna tell me to use dreamweaver. hur... let me start with something less pro first k? and i only have the old version of dreamweaver. so i have to wait for my dad to obtain a newer one.

***

"guys wish that they will be their gal's first, whereas gals wish that they will be their guy's last."

does this statement hold any water? or is it another of those gender generalisations?
anyway.
i really dont see why a guy gets to go around and sow wild oats, ruining every girl he comes across, whereas gals have to preserve themselves. i'm not saying that gals should go and sow wild oats. nono.
and i dont think that gals particularly want to be at the end of the f***-chain. [ this happens to be a new term that i have just come up with. i think its pretty self-explanatory. should you have difficulty understanding it, pls let me know, so that i can poke something into your eye. ]
i remember reading something about how a guy wouldnt want his girl to show him what she has learnt from the entire football team, he'd rather show her the ropes himself.

okok. before i digress further, there are 2 things that i am really unhappy about.
1. the damned gender divide on purity
2. the fact that purity is compromised in the first place.

***

i'm in the middle of revamping my site. i cant figure if i should modify the old look or give it a totally new coat of paint.

***

the thing about lack of sleep is : the less sleep you get, the more hyper and high and mad you are.
not just that. even though youre tired, you cant sleep. somehow, you will force yourself to stay up and do nonsense like type out blog entries.
maybe its just that i'm screwed up.
perhaps i need some form of release.
why do i so desperately need to write and write... about nothing much... its a compulsion.

hope i'll wake in time for sentosa with mel and ruth. =)

i needa do a timetable for my present week before i forget what my schedule is gonna be like
19-25apr
mon - sentosa, meet haresh
tues - tuition, meet the gals
wed - physio, sign class, mambo with ruth?, send mel off?
thur - sentosa, ronald. kenn's fella?
fri - phuture
sat - swissotel
sun - fundraising. return of the king. lolz.

[ 18042004 2.28am | 6k.day ]

20 days, 1000 hits. who are all you people.

***

anyway, i added a link to the reason in the last entry. u all can right click, "save target as" to d/l it.
i'd love to put the song on my site. but that requires abit of work. and i'm way too lazy to tire myself out. esp when i'm feeling so drained. i think its called the after-exam relapse.


***

i am so brain dead todae. apologies. maybe later.

[ 17042004 2.46am | my.reason ]

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

the reason ~

this is for you.
you who never reads my blog.
but it doesnt matter.

***

sorry guys, i dont usually dedicate songs, but feeling particularly vulnerable and in the mood tonight.
pls right click and save target as to d/l this song...
http://www.angelfire.com/bug/scrappy/The_Reason.mp3

on a lighter note, my exams are finally over! u should have seen the look on my face when the prof announced "times up, all pens down." its called : rapture.
bliss. 4mths free.

presently at mel thng's house after a strange night out. why strange? was at indochine after floorball today and there was a live band that played songs... that brought back alot of memories...
timely.

nows the time for jobs, anyone got lobangs?

***

this is very interesting. i havent missed someone, anyone for quite a long time. its an interesting feeling.

[ 15042004 1.41pm | ONE.more.day ]

class 95 : "its called... elevator love. it gets up very quickly."

***

i have had 5 hours of sleep in the last 2 days. i think i'm about to expire. i had more sleep in school in my 5hr break between exams than i did the night before.
somehow that sentence didnt flow. like all my essay answers.
lets rephrase it using colloquial.
i had a 5hr break in between my exam papers. during which i took a nap. and that nap was longer than my sleep at night.
that wasnt colloquial.

watever.

o. science fac tea is THE best. it was so strong that i was hopping til 6am this morn.
but kenn claims that nothing beats 4 cans of coke and 8 fags. haha. something i hope i will never have to try.

***

the shrey theory.

(meaning shen + reynard theory)


people are organized into a few levels. call it physical stratification if you wish.
the lowest of them is the level of the "plastic surgery also no use".
then comes the large chunk of "the normal".
the apex... consists of "the galaxy".

not in plain enough england?

basically, damn ugly, ok, unreachable.
there is, however, this thin band of people, who border the normal and the galaxy. these are the people who just need slight alterations to attain galaxyhood.

and. these sad unfortunate people, are very likely those who have the needs to proclaim their good looks. ie, they need affirmation and constant assurance that they can make it. they need a constant show, a means to draw notice to themselves... hence the dressing. look around. you'll know what i mean. (*cough*1inchthickmakeup*cough*)

the galaxy, on the other hand, dress in macham with holes, big hair and rotten sandals. and they turn heads cos of their features, which even their disguise cant hide.

***

k. this is called : damn sleepy.

TING : theres floorball tml in rj at 5.10. drop me a sms to let me know! mel's back btw. and she'll be there. pearl contacted you?

[ 14042004 2.06am | fourteen. ]

one down.
four to go.

[ 12042004 2.42am | presence~ ]

i am pretty interested to know who reads my blog. how many are friends whom use it to keep in touch with my life? how many are secret admirers seeking to know more about me? (i flatter myself) how many are passers-by who decide that its interesting and then come back often to check things out? (i flatter myself once again) are there enemies (whom i dont know about)?
i dunno. how many ppl are loyal DAILY readers? that would be interesting to know. how many ppl get here by searching for say... Jay Chau?

thoughts sparked off by the jumping counter on my site as well as dan's recent msg telling me he passworded his blog.

plus, i wonder how i write, or rather, what people who read my stuff think. i wonder if it smacks of my nationality, or if its disgustingly primary school, or if it a narcissistic boring daily life kinda thing.
one thing i know, its not a personality quiz site, i know quite enough about myself to post these things incessantly. one or two particularly interesting ones now and then are harmless. a whole site full of them will just piss me off totally.
i'd rather just not write.

***

its been a pleasantly surprising night. been in an extremely crabby mood the past week or so. i owe it to my stress level which is increasing exponentially. and exceedingly warped sleeping hours, i definitely am living on the wrong side of the globe... my headaches, and the damned exams.
dont believe that i could get that awful? ask the long suffering people around me. like my family. and wm. hur.
sis : "are you ok?"
me : "huh?" *blur look, looking up from a pile of papers*
sis : "you're like a little black cloud in the house..."

ok.
thanks.
but i gotta say that my sis has interesting metaphors. similes.
similes.
extremely self centred entry. i feel like the centre of a mandala polity.

[ 10042004 11.31pm | dream.date ]

i just went to the singtel site and checked some of the gals out. my gosh. some cant even write to save their lives, i mean, how unimaginative can they get...
and the latest few entries all seem to be about how sucky the competition is, how they are all backstabbing each other and how stupid singtel is at organising. how they are comtemplating quitting the competition and what not.

and i was asking myself... why dont they just quit and stop whining about it?
its like... ppl who talk about committing suicide are the ones who are least likely to do so.
similarly, those who talk about quitting, are actually the ones who are least likely to quit.
why?
fame, attention, accpetance, money.
who doesnt want all that?
i do.

[ 09042004 11.12pm | too.free / revenge ]

i dont really care if this means that i have to owe someone a treat.
pls. those who have been redirected from my neighbour's site, click --> this <--

here's a preliminary shot.


k. back to mugging / preparing for exams.

[ 08042004 4.11am | the.devil.within ]

went for sign language course todae. yes ade, we're learning SEE! and i think we're gonna need your help. whats "they", "find", "down", "up"... and alot more.

***

anyway, funny how liking someone can really change things...
theres the awkward, oh no, that person likes me thing, and somehow, you'll never feel comfortable / the same talking to eh person again, once he/she has professed a liking for you... esp if your friendship isnt strong enough...
strange how a change in how one person views another can set a relationship (friendship) on a totally different course.
sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse.
especially if both parties dont feel the same way...
painful how someone who used to be so close, can become so estranged when the way 2 ppl view each other doesnt match...
hate and love are part of the same continumm. there is such a fine line between the two.
both are equally overpowering feelings...
both inexplicable.
the person you love the most, can also be the one you hate the most.
and if that person happens to be yourself...

***

happiness and sadness are on two separate scales. the happiness level may remain the same, but the sadness level can increase. likewise, you can remain as sad as you were, but your happiness level can go up.
the operate independantly.
i think i have done a discourse on this before.
just rethinking it.

***

love at first sight?
is nonsense.
interest at first sight, yes.
love is cultivated,
in fact, you may never be able to find the true meaning of love.
love is an attribute of God, hence, its something we, in our limited human perceptions, can ever understand.
its like chasing after a cloud... its almost there... in our grasp... but once we reach for it, our fingers close on air.

***

screwed up piece of shit.

[ 07042004 2.11pm | missing ]

few of you out there would have known me back in my rgs days... which means, all the guys reading this, except mingwei, and practically all the girls.
for those who did know me back then, even fewer would have known me in sec2.

this is the time frame that my present entry takes place in.
back in 1998, i was a free little twit (ok, i know that a twit is a pregnant goldfish. but i wasnt pregnant, and i'm not a goldfish.) and i was in love.
in love? yeah. for once, i'll admit it.

with birds.

this meant that i travelled everyday from changi, to boonlay, taking 2 buses in the meantime, to arrive at Jurong Bird Park by 8am every morning. meaning, i woke up at 5am everyday and braved a 2hr journey there. for over a month.
thats not love? well. passion, maybe.
but i know some boyfriends who wouldnt be willing to do something like that for their girl.

the following year, in 99, i went back again.
i really loved it there. the people i got to know, the interaction with the birds... i have some really memorable experiences... being footed by a harris hawk, feeding the hoepoe, enticing a lorry to jump on my arm, crickets, mealworms, chicks...

in particular, i liked the Fuji Hawk Centre. i was attached there for quite long... which was pretty unusual.
remember all the lunches at the reptile park... and the arcade... and saving rachael, the time crisis girl... haha...
can remember everything so clearly...
and i was thinking about it last night... and i realised how much i missed that place.
so. i'm gonna call up the community liason officer and ask if i can go back there during my 4mth break. anita's not there anymore... and i wonder if meemee is still taking her place.


thats me with braces... back in... sec 3 i think... with long hair tied in a pony tail and bangs.
how long ago was that.
and thats rocky the malay eagle owl (bubo sumatranus).
its amazing how i remember these things...

wish i could show you jasper. he's totally cute and i really adored him so much. its a collared scops owl.

i have to go back there.

[ 06042004 4.14am | -_- ]

and once again... i'm left feeling *ta-dah* ripped up. and ripped out. i'm starting to get used to this feeling. i might actually start liking it cos it tells me something.

***

"Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory

Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.

When love is not madness, it is not love.

Loving is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.

Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end.

Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever.

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,
A song is no song 'til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay -
Love isn’t love
'Til you give it away.

Love is a game that two can play and both win.

True love stories never have endings.

Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.

Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired."

in return, i ripped this from someones blog that i found while surfing around earlier in the night.

***

sorry if i get lazy now and merely quote things. its exam time, and i've a whole semester of work to do in one week.
*yay*

***

my bottle theory

..a bottle, which is hard to open, just makes the opener want to open it for the sake of opening it.

..its the "i want to pry open this bottle just because its hard to open" mentality, not so much because you really want whats inside. the harder it is to open, the harder you will try. the more you will invest into dominating it.

..a hard to open bottle with seemingly nice things inside may tempt one to open it. but after realising that the bottle is hard to open, focus shifts from whats inside to its difficulty of being opened.

..satisfaction gained is from opening the bottle, not the gaining of the contents.

..its partly the ego, isnt it? like, say a helpless gal comes up to you with a mineral water bottle, requesting you open it for her.

..or you're with a group of friends who cant open a bottle of subzero.

..people want to prove things.

the bottle? can refer to many things. go figure.

[ 06042004 12.10am | variegated ]

i feel like a variegated creeper. and i dont mean that i want to eat one.
dont ask me what i mean.
anyway.

i think i miss my long hair.
because
1. my short hair is growing out, and is hence becoming irritating and difficult to style. not that i style it much.
2. i cant tie it back, and i cant use metal hairbands. because i'm allergic to impure metal. i just put on my metal hairband for 10 mins 2 days ago and it itched me til i woke up scratching. and only those type of sprial metal hairbands would hold my hair now.
3. it kept the back of my neck warm. esp when the air-cons everywhere are so freaking cold. mad. go live in the arctic lah.
4. cos it looked interesting in the photos i've been looking through.
5. its easier to maintain than short hair. really. no need to brush and i wake up and its obediant and flat, cos its so long and heavy.
6. you can do more things with long hair than short, like... interesting chopsticks in the hair things and tying it up... and such.

but.
it doesnt mean that i will grow my hair out.
i cant take the length after a while and i'll chop it off before long. haha... sorry for the pun.
my hair life has been a series of ups and downs. the minute it hits below the shoulder, i start getting pissed with it. my pissed state will last for about 6mths or until i have the spare cash to cut it, or til i cut it myself.
and, long hair is such an overrated sexy gal thing. stereotypes are meant to be avoided.

[ 05042004 2.12pm | state.of.mind ]

i missed 5k day. hmm.

***

you leave me feeling... clueless and distraught.
you leave me a in a strange state of mind.

why do i allow myself to be distracted
what happened to my shutting things out?

old questions resurface.
i never know whats going on inside.

***

"such was the lesson... it came hard, going as it did to counter to much that was strong and dominant in his own nature; and while he disliked it in the learning of it, unknown to himself he was learning to like it. it was a placing of his destiny in another's hands, a shifting of the responsibilities of existence.
This in itself was compensation, for it is always easier to lean upon another than to stand alone."